For Elf.

Elf is pretty excited about this letter addressed *just to him.*  (I covered his address and name on the letter so that all-ya'll stalkers wouldn't show up at his door.)  Apparently he will save a bundle if he bundles his car and home insurance with Nationwide Insurance.  It's a special offer because he's United States Chess Federation (USCF) member.  I don't know how chess and insurance go together, but "when things work together, they just work better."

Wow!  Elf will have to consider this offer.

Doggone it, though, if at the age of 11 he does NOT own a car or house.  I hear it's a buyer's market, but real estate isn't quite into the 55-cents to a dollar price range just yet.  He was too enthused about this business opportunity to just recycle this important notice.  Elf made sure that his father was aware of all the particulars of switching to Nationwide Insurance.  Dad could save up to 20%, did you know that?  Dad?  Dad?  Do you need to use this paper?