The yelling. The screaming. G is having a hard time with everything lately. By the way, it's all my fault. I'm a JERK, he screams as he throws things, kicks and pounds the walls. He's scaring the little children. He's starting to scare me. I know he's doing this because of his disability of autism, but on the other hand, at this rate the child will be figuratively kicked to the pavement the second he turns 18 (Happy Birthday! Here's a set of luggage!). He doesn't seem to realize that if he just fakes it, I'll let him get away with 'most anything. Patrick has this figured out. He can play video games all day if he wants to, so long as he's helpful when called. He can spend even his time after school however he pleases so long as he keeps his grades up. Just at least PRETEND to respect your parents and the rules, and you've got it made in the shade in our family.
G hasn't figured out yet that trust begets more trust. It isn't *just* because I'm a jerk that he can't play Nintendo at breakfast time, although I'm sure that's a contributing factor in his mind. I'm finding when I give him a little grace, he doesn't seem to understand that it doesn't have to be that way every day. He used to get unlimited video time every day just like Patrick. Then we figured out he felt persecuted when he was pulled away from the system because I needed him to do something and his behaviour was awful.
OK, two hours per day. Same thing.
OK, one hour. Same thing.
OK, no time today, but you can have time tomorrow if you're respectful. Oh... can I play my time now, Mom??? Yawn, well, it's 5 a.m., I suppose you can if you're respectful the rest of the day to your brothers.
So guess what happens?
Now, I'm telling him he can only have one hour. Only after dinner. Only if you've been respectful all day. Only if the family doesn't have something else they have to do. Only only only... oh, but I forgot to mention this condition that shoulda been obvious to you, like having electric that night. Or the fact that we have an unexpected change of plans. Then he thinks I'm a JERK because I made up a rule at the last minute!!! I suppose I could write them all down, but "life" necessarily makes the list incomplete.
Now we're like that with cereal. NEVER in my life did I think I'd be so anal about how much cereal each child can eat, but I've been driven to it. There is a half-cup scoop in with the cereal and you may have two of them with breakfast, no more. Otherwise G overflows his bowl and asks for another bowl because the first one didn't have enough cereal in it. Then he'd scream and kick everywhere because it wasn't fair that two weeks ago so-n-so got an extra bowl, and I know this other kid's bowl was fuller than mine this morning... And this child is now bigger than I am, bear in mind.
Then he'll go to the Children's Hospital where he is treated for his autism symptoms and complain about how his parents are rationing the food. And look how thin he is! (I can't argue with that last sentence!)
I don't know how to get through to him. I actually got the camera out and threatened him with You Tube things were so bad. Of course, I wouldn't really do that, but don't you think that you'd be ashamed of yourself, acting that way? What if your friends saw you wailing on the floor and howling about how you are an ABUSED CHILD (!!) because your mom took away your Nintendo for the day? While you're throwing objects, kicking things and ranting irrational things about how no one is listening to you and I know you hear me and you're just pretending you don't hear me UH HUH and why don't you call the cops because I did nothing wrong and you'd better hope I don't go to school and TELL THEM WHAT YOU DID because you'll be arrested uh huh for CHILD ABUSE yeah. And you're a dictator and you're a jerk that's right YOUR NEW NAME is Jerk, that's what it is (THUNK THUNK THUNK throw KICK).
In other news, we're getting new neighbours pretty soon. A perfect young couple expecting their second child. Their first child is J's age and can speak full sentences in two languages. Really. Now, the old folks on our street do wonder about the screaming, but so far no one has shown up from social services. Truth to tell, they're from the old days and think a couple good swacks will cure what ails 'em. But I'm pretty scared that this couple next door is only going to hear only parts like, "CHILD ABUSE!!" (THUNK THUNK THUNK) "I'LL TELL THEM WHAT YOU DID!" (THUNK)
And more scared that social worker will arrive and make notes like,
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... reclusive and "distrustful of the state" homeschooling family with SIX CHILDREN in three-bedroom home. Food is rationed. Bomb shelter located in basement. Toddler plays in caged area of family room. Teenage child compares parents to Adolf Hitler and baby girl child somehow taught to make "lemon face" and scream in terror at all non-family. Children not taught to shut bathroom door or flush. Found puddle where one child missed toilet entirely.
//
Sigh. Prayers are always appreciated.
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Look Out, Dad!!
My father is the purple dot above the blue weather station. He's juuust outside Milton's evacuation zone. Well! My brother and I jus...
Having one child that can go from OK to huge tears in 2.3 seconds and one that is sure we love everyone so much more and is willing to say some pretty mean things, I kinda (but not completely I am sure) understand.
ReplyDeleteI will be praying, because I know how things can get out of hand with nosy neighbors.
Hey we were turned in for running a daycare without a license. Got a cop and code enforcement for that one.
It sounds like G and Monkette are having the same kind of days lately. She gave herself a black eye today from throwing a fit. (I think she senses the stress of what is going on) I keep waiting for someone to think that I hurt her with all the bruises she gives herself.
ReplyDeleteI suppose to most kids, their parents are evil. Just today my son told my wife that his friend's mom was nicer because the other boy had more toys. Good grief. My son has way too many toys. He's only four and has more toys than I had during my entire life.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Z - did you tell them they're all yours??? Time to measure your neighbour's dandelions. ;]
ReplyDeletecc - J is head-banging now, so I hear you on that one. He has his little temper tantrum and THROWS himself backwards onto our concrete floor. He doesn't seem to learn, either.
Daddy F - I wish I could say the same. Though back in the day when I was growing up we didn't have the Nintendo. It was Pong, and a big deal to own one!! So his stuff is just more modern.
Oh man, I thought my home life was abnormal! Ha ha! My son Chaz has Aspergers and man when he gets upset... he gets upset. So the other day I caught him chasing his brother with a butter knife. Okaayyy... Well, maybe we should take him to have big talk with pastor. Pastor has a way with him and Chaz loves him to death and really respects him. Kyle told me I was an unloving parent because I forgot to say "God Bless You" after he sneezed this morning. They all yell at me if I forget to pray over my food! Ryan told me when he gets older he's gonna move far away because I wouldn't give him more cereal even though he's had two bowls. My two year old Ivy at times calls me "mean mommy" because I had to give her a swat on her behind. Ha ha! The list goes on! Ashley may be 8 months old but she's already starting with her guilt trips!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, I had to play Nintendo at my neighbors house because my mom wouldn't by me one. When I turned 18, I kid you not, I went out and got one with the original Mario Bros game. It's still my favorite. I told Chaz when he's 18, he can go out and buy an XBox 360 if he wants. He tells me all the time how many more years he has left.
Virginia, unfortunately one thing most people do NOT understand (even if they try) is that autism is a whole 'nother ball game.
ReplyDeleteBTW I did NOT mean to imply the neighbours are nosy. I don't know them very well. Just more that, they're going to hear and not understand. If *I* were hearing howling like that 15 years ago, no telling what I'd think or do.