Hopefully these are very hypothetical questions, but let's pretend so I can find your take on these issues. Ready?
1. The major presidential candidates are Uzziah Smith and Jesse Jones. You really like Uzziah Smith. But your husband tells you to vote for Jones for president instead of Smith. You think some of what Mr. Jones talks about isn't biblical, but your husband points out that Smith isn't perfect, either. Somehow you think that though Smith has his faults, he's a better candidate than Jones. Your vote?
2. Your husband is a devout churchgoer with you, but lately a famous evangelist has appeared at your church and has asked for money. He talks about obedience to the "man of God" being the same as obeying "what the man of God said to do" and he backs it up scripturally with some verses you think are taken out of context ... but now the "spirit of God" has just told your husband that your life savings is to go into the ministry so that you can trust God better. He's quoting Jesus and his words to the rich man and saying God "spoke to him" today on this during his private prayer time. Your husband would like your signature on this form remortgaging the house, please. He has already made up his mind and said that your trying to give "input" at this point is outright disobedience and a spirit of witchcraft in his home. So, are you going to do what God told your husband you should do or not?
3. Your husband is a wonderful man... when he's sober. He keeps saying he's not using, but you know better. Now the house is in foreclosure and he's a mess. Stay with him at the homeless shelter and give him one more chance, or bring the kids and move in with your mom? Your mom has made it very clear your deadbeat husband ain't coming.
Ok, no fair posting about what a wonderful husband you have or are yourself. Please pretend this is a real situation that is happening to you and your husband is NOT amenable to discussion. Let's hear it.
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My father is the purple dot above the blue weather station. He's juuust outside Milton's evacuation zone. Well! My brother and I jus...
For one, I hope to never have to deal with these things. But, these are tough. I guess it shows you really care about this stuff that you're asking. The bible does call us to be counter-cultural when it comes to marital matters, and I think most women would not even consider doing something they didn't want to do no matter what the husband says. But here we are, called to be set apart as believers.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I think bears some importance is that God is higher on the chain of command than husbands.
I've heard differing opinions on matters like these from conservative Christians and I'm a bit confused, honestly.
ReplyDeleteI think really that the whole "women voting" thing would be a major no-no for almost any conservative religious group were it not for the fact that it gives the bloc in question political power, you know?
What I really want to do is dig into my Bible and find out what God says about obedience...to Him and husbands. However, I'll just post by the seat of my pants here.
ReplyDeleteI know for myself, I will do what I believe God is calling me to do, like vote for one candidate or the other, whether or not my husband likes it.
The second scenario is really tough. I would say, "Honey, God doesn't need our money, no matter what this pastor says. We are to be good stewards of it, which includes caring for our family." I wouldn't sign a mortgage (assuming I were on title).
No. 3 is easy. If a husband (or wife) puts drugs above his family's welfare, he doesn't deserve the family until he gets clean. I'd move in with Mom so that my kids could have a safe, clean place to live.
Unfortunately, I daily see the affects of drug-taking parents on children in my husband's family, so I have zero tolerance for it.
I can't answer the first one, because I have no idea who Smith is. The second one is easy, and explains why I don't go in much for 'church' as opposed to Christianity. I'm not into blind obedience, either to God or my husband. It's a very tough one, but as an independent woman of reasonable intellect (I like to think so anyway :)) I would have to say 'no' to my husband. If that results in him divorcing me, so be it. Number 3 is also a no-brainer for me. Leaving him may be the wake up call he needs to get himself together. If not, thanks for coming. I know, I know, in sickness and in health. The point is, that there is help available. Assuming you have tried everything and he is simply unable or unwilling to accept support, it's time to move on. I don't know how the word of God would have it, but I don't think God would have given us free will had he not felt we should employ it from time to time.
ReplyDeleteTracey, I'm trying to make Smith and Jones pretty generic because we all have pet issues and political parties, don't we? :]
ReplyDeleteNOBODY is arguing yet the wife should do these things. Strange, as I've heard the OPPOSITE argument in other places and from respected Christian commentators.
I have found that the submission the Bible talks about is often radically different from "Biblical Submission."
ReplyDeleteParents/fathers who say, "The Bible says you have to do what I say, and you're being disrespectful to even question that," have missed the next part of that Bible passage. They are totally wrong.
It really bugs me when people grab a few passages they like and think are important but then ignore the rest of Scripture and who we should be as imitators of Christ.
Unfortunately, I wonder what passages I have clung to to the exclusion of others. Sobering thoughts.
~Luke
1. I would still vote for who I thought was right. Technically no one is suppose to be standing by you when you vote, so how would he know anyway.
ReplyDelete2. Definitely would have to argue with him over that point. The bible talks about tithing, not giving your life savings to someone who already has a million dollars sitting in the bank.
3. Leave him. I don't think that putting your life at risk is required. However continue to pray for him and see if reconciliation is possible if he stays clean.
Here's what I would do:
ReplyDelete1. Vote for whomever I wanted. It's not like my husband is in the voting booth with me. If I had a husband who tended to be controlling in telling me how to vote, I just wouldn't voice my opinion ahead of time.
2. Gana and I have a deal that if we feel God tells either of us to do something big and there isn't an opportunity to ask the other, just go ahead. He can empty the bank account into the offering without my permission and I can do the same. We've given away everything from cars to savings accounts. And God is a debtor to no man. We don't ask permission of one another to give offerings or to the poor.
So, if he really felt led to sign away our house, I'd move into the poor house with him and I'd trust that God would reward me--even if my husband were wrong.
3. I had a friend in this situation. When he was sober she stayed home and showered him with love and total acceptance. When he was drunk and violent she took her kids to a friends house. She never, never scolded him for his vices, she just protected herself. She made it absolutely clear that she accepted him for the man he was and she appreciated hm.
Today he is totally sober, serving the Lord in the church and they have a couple more kids. He stays home, prays with the family, etc.
The power of acceptance is pretty powerful. Not everything needs to be discussed.
1.) If my husband tried to tell me who to vote for I would lose all respect for him. In my eyes that would mean that he felt he had to control what I thought on certain issues. In other words I would still vote for whoever I wanted.
ReplyDelete2.)I would state my opinion and would have a few choice words for him about him telling me it was witchcraft for me to state my opinion but in the end I would follow what my husband felt we should do.
3.) I would stay with my mother. as the child of an alcoholic I know what it is does to the children so I would feel it is my duty to protect them. In all honesty sometimes people have to hit rock bottom to make themselves become sober and maybe my leaving would be his rock bottom.
I just have to add that while the bible does say that I should be submissive to my husband it also says that he should love me as christ loved the church so if he really did that then I do not think he would do anything of the things stated above.
ReplyDelete