11 September 2008

Microanalysis

People who write political news stories are just brilliant. I'm glad this lady is able to tell us that Sarah Palin isn't a woman (somehow?). She's also literally pontificating at us, and letting us know that we can believe anything we want as long as it doesn't involve forcing our beliefs on others. Glad to see that column on September 11th of all days... this lady doesn't know what the hell she's talking about when she speaks of forcing beliefs. I wish I had the money to send her to Yemen or somewhere really warm, and see how she feels when (if) she returns home. But perhaps her editor knew stupidity would get her links (as, of course, I'm doing right now. See? Yeah. I think I posted earlier about how I'm a hypocrite, but some of y'all keep coming back and reading anyhoo.)

And other concerns I'm reading about... I just have to share this tidbit with you. I've seen it on several other blogs and we really need to be worried about that-there Sarah Palin encouraging people not to kill their unborn Downs Syndrome babies through her own example of actually carrying a child like that to term. The nerve of her! Accepting and loving the kid for who he is, just the way God made him. Damn those intolerant conservatives. Wonder what the liberals would say if he were born homosexual? OK, we won't go there. Today, anyway.

Yes, I'm reading the news and the blogs and getting a bit miffed.

You know, it's ok to examine the candidates and the things they do and even take a peek at the family life. Obviously if John McCain were a wife-beater it would have an effect on how the American people viewed him. Ditto for Obama. You know? But there's a point at which the act of getting the story ought to be the story itself.

Did you hear about the Obama slip-up about his "Muslim faith?" I think we should cut him some slack. How many times has something stupid slipped out of our own mouths? I have to admit it's a very funny joke, but reading too much into it isn't probably helping Americans pick the best candidate. It really doesn't have to do anything with anything, except perhaps prove that the "Muslim" attack on Obama must be bugging him something crazy. I have my own questions about the legitimacy of his Christian faith, but the mini-video didn't really give me any new information. I got a chuckle out of it and then thought, "The poor guy. Bet he's playing that moment over and over in his head all day today."

I think if we're going to microanalyze the candidates, that we should really do it. Really. Somebody go swab the candidates' hands surreptitiously during a meet-and-greet and we can do a germ analysis. Whose hands are the germiest? Or do a toilet paper use analysis. Which candidate uses the most squares, and, if this difference were multiplied so that every American used this much more (let's say, three squares extra), how many more trees would we have to cut down? What shampoo is John McCain using? (Because it isn't working.) Sarah Palin's hairspray brand name? Also a must-know. We also need to seek out the B-52's ladies and see if they'll give an endorsement, since they all have similar hair. (OK, Palin's is much nicer, but whatever. Just for fun.)

And forget this high school yearbook pic thing that goes on in the news. We need third grade or kindergarten shots, especially during the years that candidates are going through awkward or fashion-stupid spurts in their development.

Maybe I am looking for news in all the wrong sorts of areas. It seems I find news that is carefully constructed in simple, "See John Run" sentences, or it's full of math-y stuff and charts that I don't understand. Suggestions for websites a moderately intelligent person might look at for news is appreciated.

Maybe I'm oversaturated with so-called "news." I want to make a YouTube video and tell America to just "Leave Sarah ALOOOOONE. You're lucky she even runs for you guys... *sob*" Because the criticism isn't really criticism, this stuff that I'm seeing lately... it's just... oh... sort of a high-school rumour-spreading bonanza thing. It's just stupid.

3 comments:

  1. I wish we would simply stick to issues and civil debates and inspiring moments.

    I am no fan of Gov. Palin but I hate all the smears. It just distracts from the issues and makes it even harder to find the truth.

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  2. I find the political ads. If we were too believe, none of could possibly vote for any of the candidates.

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  3. One more reason I do not watch/read/listen to anything that comes out of the media about these people. I read what other people have to say about what the media says. I think I get a clearer picture of what's going on that way [smile].

    "What if he were born a homosexual?" !!! Oh my, that made me laugh, and then it made me want to cry, and then I had to laugh again with tears in my eyes. So good. So true. Ouch, ouch ouch.

    I really enjoy your political satire, even if it is a bit too much for share sometimes. [smile] Love it.

    ~Luke

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Non-troll comments always welcome! :)