25 November 2008

How About YOU?

"What is the hardest place to take your autistic child?" asks the Bishop's Wife.

For us, that depends on which child we're discussing! G is perfectly fine just about anywhere, but saves all of his "difficult moments" for our at-home time. Usually he strongly prefers to give us unending trouble during long breaks or other "unstructured" time. Then at church or around town we're asked how we ENJOY our Christmas break. It's lovely, thanks...

BEST of all, he gets himself into so much trouble that we can't let him play Nintendo or other games during this long, awful break. I wish he'd just nod his head and say "Yes, Ma'am," like the oldest does when he disagrees with me. You know, just pretend to go along with whatever... so I can feel respected, and then he can go off and do what he wants to do? Kind of a trade thing. G doesn't deal in that currency, though. He just notices when HE is feeling disrespected. Rather tough to "respect" the kid who screams at the top of his lungs, calls you a jerk, jumps and flails for hours about how no one loves him and everyone just wants his vast wealth of $2 per week (before tithe!). We're out to make money off him, ya know.

Sigh. Glad we're not in one of those bouts right now. :] Things are actually going pretty well on the G front. He has signed up for wrestling, which combined with his two-mile walk home gets some of that extra aggressive energy out. We get "tired" Mr. G here at home now. I like him that way LOL!

Elf, on the other hand, is very easy to deal with. He just doesn't handle other people very well, or rather, other people don't quite know how to handle him. He has to have the same seat each week. Please don't change the routine. If you think he might get upset, that's a good time to talk about how the Keebler elves deal with the situation (no, I'm not kidding).

How do you handle "outsiders" who have no idea what is going on and offer "advice?" Usually I tell them to go *$*# off, with appropriate hand gestures and threats of butt-kickin' if they keep staring. OK, that's just what I FEEEEEEL like doing but of course would never do. I usually meekly tell them that they must be right... and oh, fish oil and snake tongue helps your second cousin's best friend's autistic kid? Oh, and biofeedback ABA therapy with a twist of lime? Wonderful. Next time I have $20 grand sitting round in my pocket, I think I'll take your advice! Thanks so much! So good of you to share how that kid is "cured" and we're only messed-up because we didn't do things your way!

Oh, ok, ok. Really what do I do? I pretend to listen to them and say I'll bring it up to the doctor or hmm... nice thought. Then I'll get home and BLOG ABOUT WHAT JERKS I DEAL WITH. Then I will yell at my kids for embarrassing me.

Then I will realize that God uses situations like this to show me how messed up *I* am. In the end, it isn't about my kid's autism. Or anybody else. It's about God and how His standards are impossible to live up to, at least for really bad people like me. It's a real shame that Jesus calls people into accountability for their attitudes as well as their actions. That's the really hard part! That I have to forgive people who are mean, rotten and nasty instead of calling the ol' fire down from heaven. Bummer.

Did you read this whole thing? Wow.

8 comments:

  1. My dear friend. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. Remember God doesn't think you are messed up at all. This is how He made you. You and your family are very precious to Him.

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  2. Hey us parents with "normal kids" get the lecture and stares too! If a kid throws a fit in public someone else knows exactly how to handle that.

    Now I feel sorry for that parent because I know how badly you want to just leave the kid and groceries there and never come back.

    Also he doesn't expect us to live up to his standards. After all we live in a fallen world and it is impossible. That is why there is grace!

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  3. lol friend, I start feeling guilty when it's not even my fault anymore. Saves the hasle of waiting to be told! And last time I looked I found God valued variety & uniqueness far more than his people do. He must like you a lo; you got lots of uniqueness & variety. [no, I know it's no always fun to live with but it seems everybody gets something]

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  4. Homeschooling is such a great thing.

    "Leave your shoes by the door and stay a little while."

    You have a 'shoes-off policy'? Wonderful.

    I have an whole blog about removing shoes in homes: Shoes Off at the Door, Please You might like to take a look.

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  5. What Zimm' Zoo said is so true. Without God's grace where would any of us be?

    God gace you some very special kids, because He knew that you and your husband were the very best parents for them. Leaning on Him does take practice, though, doesn't it. Don't try to measure up, just lean.

    OH, and Nutikin's worst place is a train station. That's why we only go inside one when absolutely necessary. It has been almost a year this time. He is practically traumatized by all of the various noises that he can't identify. Very scary place.

    Advice? Japanese people don't often give advice to strangers, especially foreign ones. Wanna come live here?

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  6. I think people have summed it up noicely here.

    P.S. Sometimes I want vengance, guess I am as messed up as you ;)

    Hugs

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  7. Yes I read it all. You do make me smile. Everyday. thanks.

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  8. Yes I read all the way through.. I always do.
    I have just been a silent blog friend lately.. xxx kim

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