"What is the hardest place to take your autistic child?" asks the Bishop's Wife.
For us, that depends on which child we're discussing! G is perfectly fine just about anywhere, but saves all of his "difficult moments" for our at-home time. Usually he strongly prefers to give us unending trouble during long breaks or other "unstructured" time. Then at church or around town we're asked how we ENJOY our Christmas break. It's lovely, thanks...
BEST of all, he gets himself into so much trouble that we can't let him play Nintendo or other games during this long, awful break. I wish he'd just nod his head and say "Yes, Ma'am," like the oldest does when he disagrees with me. You know, just pretend to go along with whatever... so I can feel respected, and then he can go off and do what he wants to do? Kind of a trade thing. G doesn't deal in that currency, though. He just notices when HE is feeling disrespected. Rather tough to "respect" the kid who screams at the top of his lungs, calls you a jerk, jumps and flails for hours about how no one loves him and everyone just wants his vast wealth of $2 per week (before tithe!). We're out to make money off him, ya know.
Sigh. Glad we're not in one of those bouts right now. :] Things are actually going pretty well on the G front. He has signed up for wrestling, which combined with his two-mile walk home gets some of that extra aggressive energy out. We get "tired" Mr. G here at home now. I like him that way LOL!
Elf, on the other hand, is very easy to deal with. He just doesn't handle other people very well, or rather, other people don't quite know how to handle him. He has to have the same seat each week. Please don't change the routine. If you think he might get upset, that's a good time to talk about how the Keebler elves deal with the situation (no, I'm not kidding).
How do you handle "outsiders" who have no idea what is going on and offer "advice?" Usually I tell them to go *$*# off, with appropriate hand gestures and threats of butt-kickin' if they keep staring. OK, that's just what I FEEEEEEL like doing but of course would never do. I usually meekly tell them that they must be right... and oh, fish oil and snake tongue helps your second cousin's best friend's autistic kid? Oh, and biofeedback ABA therapy with a twist of lime? Wonderful. Next time I have $20 grand sitting round in my pocket, I think I'll take your advice! Thanks so much! So good of you to share how that kid is "cured" and we're only messed-up because we didn't do things your way!
Oh, ok, ok. Really what do I do? I pretend to listen to them and say I'll bring it up to the doctor or hmm... nice thought. Then I'll get home and BLOG ABOUT WHAT JERKS I DEAL WITH. Then I will yell at my kids for embarrassing me.
Then I will realize that God uses situations like this to show me how messed up *I* am. In the end, it isn't about my kid's autism. Or anybody else. It's about God and how His standards are impossible to live up to, at least for really bad people like me. It's a real shame that Jesus calls people into accountability for their attitudes as well as their actions. That's the really hard part! That I have to forgive people who are mean, rotten and nasty instead of calling the ol' fire down from heaven. Bummer.
Did you read this whole thing? Wow.