26 December 2008

Extreme MEAN Parenting.

Virginia relates this experience about a little boy she met a little bit ago:

"I was at an appointment today and as I was sitting in the waiting area, I unfortunately got to observe a grandma with her grandchild. This grandma was probably around 45-50 and had her grandson sitting with her while mom was taking care of something. I saw her son reach over to push my daughter's play stroller. He was probably 2 years old. The grandma snatched him up, spanked him, and started calling him a "faggot". All for pushing a stroller. Then he started to cry and she kept calling him a sissy over and over. Then she said she was going to tell daddy what a sissy and faggot he was. Good grief! She just kept yelling, "shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

You know, I never know what to say or do when stuff like that happens. Once, I was in a thrift store and an EXTREMELY naughty little boy was pulling racks down and upending displays.

Have you ever just thought to yourself, my goodness, that kid needs a good smack?

Well, just as I was thinking that, Grandma reached for a WIRE HANGER and thwacked that kid like you wouldn't believe several times on the backside. But heyyy, he behaved after that.

Times like Christmas you always wonder about those poor little kids and what the day is like for them. The kid I saw would be about 20 now. I hope that the child Virginia met has much love and hope at home with his parents, and that Grandma is a rare visitor. These little two-year-olds, you know, do actually grow up to become fathers. Stroller-pushing is an important skill that I value in my husband when we're walking and I'm faced with a large hill.

Well, and for that matter, I'd still love my kids even if they were the biggest "faggots" in the universe. GOOD GRIEF some people need a good smack. And it isn't the kid. I can't imagine myself ever waving a pink triangle flag or wearing a rainbow shirt at a rally, but wow. Those "faggots" (ugh, what a term!) are someone's brothers, children and fathers. They're people. BTW so are those stupid "fundies," too. I read on some atheist website about how they should all be nailed to their little Christmas trees during the yuletide season.

Ahhh. I'm feeling the tolerance.

So, I'm just imagining those parents on a bad day... When their kid pushes someone else's stroller. "You stupid fundie, I'm going to tell your dad what a stupid fundamentalist Christian pig you are... Shut up, shut up, shut up! Intolerant little bible-thumper!"

Bleh.

13 comments:

  1. You feeling ok there? Come play in my sandpit for a while. The other day while I'm trying to soak up Liddy's tears & get on a boat at the same time one of the biggest, meanest [suppossedly] blokes around stops & says, 'Someone up there need thumping for you Liddy?' Yikes! I dunno. Some people are just like that. I'm gonna go read Winnie~the~pooh seeing as *I'm a bear of very little brain*. ((hugs)) I never know what to do either.

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  2. I get into a lot of trouble and almost a few fist fights because I always speak up and say something because I want them to know that behavior like that towards children is not tolerated.

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  3. Oh, goodness, Ganeida, I'm fine. (but thanks!) I just hate to see so much *hate,* you know? I think there are a lot of people out there who need to learn to disagree nicely, or if you're really that upset about the stroller, give the kid a manly car or something. Wow...

    For that matter, I'm sure I could always stand to be a BETTER parent than I am. But just so sad to read about folks who don't make that bare minimum cutoff of "treating children like they're human."

    Tammy, I wish I had more boldness like you. Even when they locked my own son in a "recovery room," I never knew what to say. I think I said something like oh, everything's fine and I totally understand and then went home and cried all shaking and mad.

    YES, that's the kind of person I am. You wouldn't believe the awful arguments D and I got into about whether to bring Elf home and homeschool him. It was like a month of back-and-forth awful arguing. Finally, when he said YES, I took like 30 minutes to print the forms and sign 'em. Those forms were done, handed to the school AND sent registered mail before the day was out, you betcha.

    I keep wondering if things would have been different if I'd have yelled at the stupid staff of that school. Now, looking back on it, probably worse. They'd have written me off as "crazy mom" and called my husband every time something came up.

    Come to think of it, that woulda been awesome LOL!

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  4. Well, I just thought I'd better check. I never seem to do anything except get myself in an almighty tizz & you sounded a tad fraught. Glad you're just letting off steam. :)

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  5. Just observing how hateful people can be, even to their own children! How sad.

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  6. Wow! This kind of thing really steams me, but like you I don't know whether I would be able to say something or not. I just hope I am with my dear husband if I ever witness something like that, because he would definitely say something.

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  7. Disgusting and sad. On several levels. I might not have kids, but I know unhealthy disciplinary actions/philosophies when I see it.

    A few years ago, I was in the fruit department with a friend. A friend teetering on 4 inch heels and examining a large pyramid display of oranges. A child charged her from across the market, she fell into the display, and oranges flew everywhere. When my ordinarily timid friend asked the child's mother to control her child, she was icily told, "I don't believe in disciplining my child."

    Not "faggot," not a wire hanger, but still.

    Allson

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  8. She doesn't believe in disciplining her child???

    OK, that's even more abusive than the other two methods. That kid is going to grow up with some serious problems when Mr. Policeman (or Ms. Policewoman if you prefer!) doesn't buy that the kid should be allowed to knock people over when he's 19...

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  9. Sue, I'm guessing what he says would have a lot more impact, too. Usually men keep to themselves. :]

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  10. How awful. I feel so sorry for these kids. I have to say that I am usually the one that speaks up. The few times I havent I wished I had so now I do! Do you get that sentence? LOL

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  11. I think the point I "heard" the most in your post was that intolerance breeds intolerance..and it's certainly not the message of my God, He said..Love, love, love..well, something like that. :)
    What the world needs is just that though, The woman calling the 2 year old faggot, must have had so little love of her own, that she just couldn't bear to part with any for that little boy..and so pehaps...Standing in front of her..to say Hey, are you all right? Can I help you in some way, because you know he's just a little boy, and he needs to know you love him...Give some love, when we judge is my motto!!

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  12. Mrs. D I know EXACTLY what you mean.

    Writestuff, thanks for commenting. Yes, I suppose all that *hate* just shows a real lack of love. Christ DOES call on us to love the un-lovely, but I can't say I'm always good at this. Maybe she just does need a bit of help or a listening ear, might make things a little better.

    I freeze, though. Even when really bad things happen to my OWN children, I freeze. It's easy to say, well, why didn't you do something when all this happened to your child at school... or whatever... but some people just do well under pressure and some of us just get frozen there, gaping. I've really prayed about this, but even recently a situation came up and I did something STUPID (!!!) under pressure. This is why I can NOT be an EMT or emergency dispatcher. I think *some* of it is innate.

    But I think you're right. Even when I disagree with someone (say, on gay "marriage" or whatever), I really TRY to see things from the other side and imagine, you know, someday that could be your grandkid feeling that way, in that lifestyle. Or it could be yourself if things went differently in your life or whatever. We don't have to be nasty and call names when we disagree. :[

    I mean, we can have a principle even like "boys shouldn't push strollers because..." if we want to, without the namecalling and nastiness. My "thing" is horrible grammar, so God gave me three autistic children, one of whom is almost entirely nonverbal. LOL

    I guess He's teaching me something.

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  13. Ugh. What bugs me about all this is that I never have a good thing to say to mean parents. What do you say to someone who says, "I wish you were never born!" to their own offspring?

    Trying to pick up the pieces with these kids is rough, especially when they start exhibiting similar practices as their parents.

    Ugh.

    ~Luke

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Non-troll comments always welcome! :)