05 February 2009

G's Day Part II

This post isn't for the faint of heart. It's gross. It's honest. Maybe you should skip it, or better yet just scroll down to the comment section, give me an internet ((hug)), and I'll think you've really read it and care a lot, and you'll spare yourself a few minutes that could be spent doing other things like picking your toenails or pickling raspberries. But please, not in that order.

OK.

So here I am going to the bathroom. I have six children and the worst bladder known to mankind. In our house, we let it mellow if it's yellow and if it's brown we flush it down. Otherwise, even our $90 per month water bill would be much higher. Mind you, YES, we flush before company arrives. And YES, we wash our hands every time. But if Old Mom is just going to go to the bathroom in 15 minutes, there's no need to waste a gallon of water EVERY time. Just from a money and conservation standpoint.

I exit the bathroom to find standing RIGHT THERE one of G's friends. And he goes to the bathroom, no doubt realizing what hicks we are that we don't even flush. Uggh. I'm in the process of getting all embarrassed about this until I realize that he doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom.

Um.

Suddenly my "not flushing" habit isn't so bad, comparatively speaking.

G tells me right in front of Q that Dad says his friend Q can stay over until churchtime if I say it's ok.

I have some choices. Q has walked about a mile to get here from his house and it would be rude for me to turn him away. I feel more than a little put-upon because if I say NO, I'll either look like a meanie or I'll have to embarrass G by listing the 47 in maths, the detention, the blowups that have been going on, and oh, everything else he did in the last week that isn't flattering as an explanation.

So I said yes. This one time.

Here it's after 5 p.m. which basically means G has invited his friend to dinner. I'm NOT getting bunches of stuff out and cooking it when church starts at 6:30. Macaroni and cheese, three boxes. Voila. I've put some on S's tray and in Woodjie's bowl to cool.

Q comes to the table and sneers at S's food because it's congealed. Yeah, like I'm going to serve her stuff right from the pot and burn her? Guess not, he says.

So I've served the meal and about five times I've caught Q doing that *barf* thing by sticking his tongue out when he thinks I'm not looking. I am mad at G for not stopping it right then the first time. And you know, ordinarily I offer guests some sort of choice, but when you arrive at dinner and expect to be fed, you get what you get. Finally I had to tell him to quit it, and the kid tries to LIE TO ME by saying he was just doing some other move he was practicing... whatever. But keep your moves to yourself at the table. I'm smouldering angry at this kid.

After dinner, he STILL didn't wash his hands. Then Patrick got mad at him for touching his stuff without washing his hands. So he finally did. And this kid said "dang" a bunch of times, which I found rather shocking. He didn't seem to censor himself very well, but D says he probably WAS censoring himself and "dang" is more acceptable. I think it's all in how you say it. D also says that you know, compared to a lot of other kids, this guy isn't so bad. And he's right. I mean, I LIKED this kid until yesterday's *barf* thing at the table. Maybe I take that too personally, but dang. (LOL just checking to see if you're reading. Don't forget the "hug" later.)

I'm fuming. I know I should say something. But I'm one of those people who is nice, nice, nice, nice and BOOOOOOOOOM. The problem is I'm not good at speaking up before BOOOOM happens. Other people go, wow, what's her problem? It was ok before and it isn't now?? Huh?

Well, not much time before the older boys walked to church. But before Q left, he went to the bathroom again. And he didn't wash his hands! Iwwww.

I'm baby-wiping stuff all over now. That just icks me out. I shouldn't be surprised, though, as Patrick has been complaining for several years that children at school do not wash their hands after using the restroom or before eating. It really bothers him. I've never seen a boy more meticulous about stuff like that, which is surprising considering the state of his room.

The whole time those boys were gone, I was hoppin' mad. Hoppin' mad. Angry. Furious. That G is so nasty to me and he NEVER listens and I can NEVER say anything to him because he ALWAYS blows up. I can't STAND how no one EVER listens to me or appreciates me.

Finally, they get home and I'm gonna let G have it. You know the position you put me in by bringing a friend over... and this is why... and this is how I feel about it... I went through everything in my post and how upset I was about it. And do you know what he said?

DO you??

"Yes, ma'am. I'll try to remember that next time. I'm sorry."

!!!!!

Ok, I was just waiting for him to yell at me so I'd have somebody to yell at back. And he didn't. He genuinely apologized. Now I'm all frustrated and angry and have nobody to take it out on. He even meekly accepted the idea that we should ALWAYS pre-arrange our friends coming over, most particularly right before dinner. !???!!??

I wonder how long this will last, but I can be glad that it's lasting while it does. I'm still feeling very, very angry, though.

10 comments:

  1. Big (((((HUG)))))! I'm a nice until I go Boom sort too. Something in that maybe? Gotta work on it. I can't stand rudeness. You feed the kid & he's doing a barf? I think I'da done a boom at him.[ps. ~ I read all the way through ~ both posts. :)]

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  2. My brother is not autistic but he has major ADHD and boy did he do anything any so called "Friend" told him to do just to be "cool".. So I totally understand your frustration there. He would do just about anything to have friends and be liked. Including trying to shop lift some candy at a local store, which he got caught red handed, Luckily I was searching for him at the time and I explained to the cop and he just brought him home in the cop car even though it was around the corner to scare him a little. And Boy did it work!

    HUGS.. I say go yell at a plant or something! Get it out! :O)

    and on Woodjie, don't worry about him not talking too much, My friend's little boy really did not start talking until he was 3 almost 4 with the help of speech therapy, He pretty much said nothing before that.. So there is always hope he will be vocal someday!

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  3. Hugs to you. I read the whole thing, and didn't gag once. :)

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  4. Claire, nobody's gagging? Because I didn't post pics of the mac and cheese, right?

    Hey. Maybe that'll teach 'im not to show up right at dinnertime LOL! Actually I didn't mind the feeding him part, just the *barf* thing.

    Shelly, I'm with you. People that don't live every day with this think it's a character defect. Which I suppose sometimes like anyone else but really it's "poor impulse control!"

    Ganeida, if you went *boom* at my house the children would probably be too entertained by the accent to take it too seriously.

    Or maybe not if you do stomping with the boom.

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  5. Oh, my, what a day you've had! I'll beam some hugs your way. My brother, now 22, has been just like your G for as long as I can remember...subtract the autism but add in plenty of mental health issues. It is still so heartbreaking to hear him blow up at my parents because, you know, they're totally out to get him and ruin his life.

    As for all the pent up anger, well, I used to know a woman who kept a supply of yard sale china in the yard. She found shattering dishes to be immensely satisfying and therapeutic. Maybe you shouldn't try that with little ones around, though.

    PS: I take my mac & cheese congealed and slightly undercooked. It concentrates the flavors. G's friend sounds like a rather interesting specimen - what teenage boy *doesn't* like mac & cheese?!

    Allison

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  6. Oh I can do stomping. I lost my voice one time then lost my temper & was stomping like mad to make my point. My kids were vastly entertained & rolled on the floor paralytic with laughter & I've never been allowed to forget it.

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  7. My 12 yo does a lot of things to be cool with his friends. Thankfully we have been able to eliminate most of those friends and he only has good friends now.

    I have sent many a friend home because the kids asked me right in front of them if they could spend the night, stay for dinner, etc. Doesn't make them very happy.

    Lots of hugs your way!

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  8. [hug!]

    I read both parts and I wish I could offer some sort of ideas, encouragement, or whatever. But I can't.

    Oh, and I'm a "Boom-er" too, so I've got no advice there either.

    Hope your blog is a cathartic outlet for you. Let off steam here. We'll read--even when it's gross--and then give you a hug afterward [smile].

    [hug]

    ~Luke

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  9. Don't you just hate it when you're all arked up for a fight and it doesn't happen? Dang it!
    *seriously, people actually use the word 'dang'? ROFL*
    You were right to be mad, on every front. Particularly considering G's latest 'issues'. It wouldn't have been so bad if the friend behaved like a human being, rather than a badly trained animal.
    And how dare that boy apologise sincerely?? That would make me scream.
    (hugs)

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  10. Oh man, that would make me mad too! That would also catch me by surprise with such a nice apology like that. LOL.

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Non-troll comments always welcome! :)