Our pastor likes to start his sermon with a "funny." Here's a good 'un: A young man is on his way to church with two quarters. He plans to buy ice cream with one and put the other one into the offering plate. As he's strolling along, he's flipping the quarter into the air, singing a little song and thinking about buying ice cream. But as he nears the shop, he stumbles and the quarter he was playing with goes down into a grate and is irretrievable. The boy thinks about what to do. Finally, he pulls the other quarter out of his pocket and says, "Sorry, God. This quarter is for ice cream."
"HEEE HEEE HEEE HEEEEEE!" Elf thought this joke was very, very good. I don't know that he remembered anything of the preaching. I could hear him stifle little giggles all through the service. All that week, I'd occasionally hear him snorting and giggling and saying, "Sorry, God. This quarter is for ice cream!"
I don't think any other nine-year-old has appreciated a pastor's joke quite so much. This joke also had to be acted out by Elf and Emperor many different times. Complete with pretend ice cream, what flavour each boy would pick out, etc. I have to admit to laughing many, many times over this joke because Elf's red-faced laughter is just so contagious.
Here's another Sunday funny for you. A fellow is driving down the highway when he receives a frantic phone call from his wife. "Harry!" she says. "Be careful! I just heard on the news that some crazy person is driving the wrong way on the highway!"
"Ethel, it isn't just one person," Harry responds. "They are all driving the wrong way!"
Emperor did not like this one. It is dangerous to drive the wrong way on the highway. It's even more dangerous if EVERYONE is driving the wrong way on the highway. This is not funny. This is sick. The pastor's preaching this on a Sunday??
Sigh. Yep. It was about all I could do to keep the kid from yelling about this outrage during church. I explain the joke to him later and he's a bit mollified. I can tell he still feels a bit infuriated at the thought. But that did not confuse Emperor nearly so much as the following story:
Two airheads are getting ready to build a fence. "This nail is defective!" one says to the other. "The nail's point is going the wrong way."
"Oh, no, that's ok," the other replies. "It's for the other side of the fence!"
Emperor had some questions...
What is an airhead and why is it building the fence? Is it trying to keep something out of its yard? What kind of fence is it building?
What was wrong with the nail?
Did they get the fence done?
And I don't see why this joke is funny, Mom...