22 August 2010

Umm...

NO, that's not me meditating... that's me not knowing what to say, sometimes.

Emperor is NINE, and yet he is still quite insistent that he will marry his sister someday.  It doesn't matter what Mom says about it.  He really loves her.  He thinks she's really, really cute.  Plus, she's already PROMISED to marry him!  No matter what the Bible says, you can't go back on a promise.

Guy, I think that God's going to overlook Rose's "promise" to marry you, especially since she has no idea what she is saying when she repeats words after you.  She just wanted your praise and attention; that's why she's vowing to be your wife, be your best friend forever, and why she lets you borrow her Hello Kitty items.  (She wants those back, by the way, even if she "promised" you could keep them.)

Yep, we have to discuss the Bible and its mandates on marriage.  So some ground rules.  Even if most everyone around you starts to say that boys can marry boys, that's not true according to God.  You also can't marry your cat or your donkey.

Emperor is perplexed.  "So how do you know if someone is an ass or not?"

??

"All those people you say, 'You stupid ass!' about when you are driving," he clarified.  "How am I going to be sure not to marry one of them?  I can't tell the difference between them and the regular people!"

"Ummm..."

This would be hilarious, if only Emperor were kidding with me.  But no.  He's serious.  He's really THAT literal of a person.

Yet again, Mom wishes she had headphones for the little kids and one of those special OnStarSuperDeluxe TVs that would enrapture the children on our little forays into the outside world.  That... and that people who do stupid things on the road would do them in slow motion.  I'm good at censoring myself if I have enough time to think before the words come out and can think of appropriate alternatives such as "doo-doo-Mcpoopsie head" in time. 

Of course, the BEST alternative would be to thank the LORD for putting this driver into my life so that I can pray for her.  And ponder aloud at how blessed I am that God had "ordered my steps" and my driving, even as He obviously didn't do such a hot job at ordering the other person's.

Arg.  WHY can't I seem to be more spiritual "on the spot" like that? 

5 comments:

  1. I can't get myself to seem more spiritual because... well... I'm not.

    But that's me.

    ~Luke

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  2. Tell Emporer that if you hang out with the person you are thinking of marrying long enough, you will eventually catch onto whether or not they do stupid-ass stuff. Or at least more of it than he can handle.

    Sorry for cussing, you started it.

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  3. Me neither, Luke!

    And Deb, you had me laughing my donkey off there!

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  4. So, Emperor would not understand the difference between a smart donkey and a stupid one, figuratively speaking.

    My pastor is sure that God has a lot of work to do on him because his blood boils every time he gets behind a slow-donkey car or a dumb-donkey driver.

    Emperor could avoid marrying one by staying single . . . I think that is the only sure fire way to do it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mrs.C., I love your blog and am passing the Sunshine Award on to you and your blog. It brightens my day to read your passages, and hope the award does the same for your day. Please stop by my blog and read today's entry to see how to 'pick up' your award and pass it on to your own favorite blogs. Peace and love, Blondee.

    ReplyDelete

Non-troll comments always welcome! :)