Grumble, Grumble

We've been hitting the part of the school year where children are annoyed with each other constantly.  In no particular order, I'm starting to hear the following complaints (and more!):  He's cracking his knuckles again.  He burped and didn't say, "Excuse me.

Sometimes I will star a problem at random for no reason. 

"  He just touched his toe and THEN TOUCHED THE PAPER without washing his hands.  He just read the wrong word in the BIBLE, and that's changing the Word of God, and you need to do something about that!  Why is he done with his math first? It isn't fair!  He got more cuddle time with you during reading because I took a while to find my spot in the book!  Why can't Elf have to do handwriting like me/ Why can't Emperor be required to do spelling like me?  His question was longer than mine, so I should get the next two questions.  He wasn't reading with dramatic flair and so I couldn't understand him.  He didn't write that last sentence neatly/ I saw his fingers off the "home" keys while he was typing so he didn't do it right/ IT'S NOT FAIIIIIIR.  And I'll bet they don't have to learn about appositives AND nouns of direct address in public school, or diagram their sentences!  Patrick didn't!  He can't even diagram a sentence!  It's not faiiiir.

The Golden Tack Award!

  And so on and so on and so on.  I am trying to spice up some of our day with the Golden Tack Award for Most Dramatic Reading (yeah, you put the brad on your shirt.  It's a major award, ok?) and do odd things like star certain problems in English or mathematics.  Sometimes, the reward is an official Golden Tack (collect more than your brother!  You'd be surpriiiiised at how motivating this is!), and on other occasions, I realize that I have overeaten again and there are three Oreos left in my bowl.  Guess you get one after I brush off the other crumbs.  Yeah.  I planned that as your reward.  I was just... rewarding *myself* for all the great teaching I was doing this morning.  Yup.  You're welcome.