20 April 2011

Unique Fundraisers

I'm NOT going to go door-to-door selling dopey gift wrap and spice sets. The cookie dough the preschool sells is good, but is it $12 worth good? I just can't do that to my neighbours and friends. Mostly because then my neighbours and friends would get the idea that I need to pay them back by buying their dopey gift wrap and spice sets for scouts or whatever.

I'm the bad neighbour who says NO to every fundraiser known to Man. Too bad if you don't like it, but I just don't have time or energy to mess with forms, pay money, wait around and get stuff and distribute it and/or explain to my husband why I spent $42 on gift items. Oh, yeahhhh the Sally Foster gift wrap with the glitter on it was niiice stuff. Was it $8 nice for a little roll? Point taken.

"Most parents and school supporters will tell you that they would welcome an end to the annual sales of candy, candles, wrapping paper, magazines, cookie dough and other products they neither want nor need. For many parents, these fundraisers are a financial burden." Duh, this quote came from....

Wait for it...

A fundraiser for schools!

You knew it, didn't you? But this one is different and maybe a little scary. "Power for Schools" will give YOU the best residential rate through your electric company. Then the schools get a kickback, Mafia style. And boyo, with over 200,000 students, the schools in Houston are gonna get rich. Can you imagine, your electric company tangled up with the schools? Don't you get the superintendent all mad at you or the lights are gonna go out. And I mean all the way out.

Ok. Maybe paranoid me thinks it's just an odd idea and there is nothing mafia about it. I mean, they have the CUTE school and house drawings on their website, so it really has to be harmless. In fact, while I'm at it, I'll think of some other fundraising ideas for local schools:

1. Grocery cards. Get the best deals on groceries if you sign up for the program and pay a $20 annual fee. Kind of like Sam's Club, except non-members are paying $5 for a dozen eggs. You do not want to homeschool in this district, or if you do, you'd better be reallllyy supportive of public education. Just buy the card. Everyone wins!

2. Gas cards. The Richie Rich private schoolers and old ladies on pensions have lots of money to spend on a higher rate per gallon than YOU will get if you sign up with our program. The school gets money, and you save money, too. Everyone wins!

3. Physicians' offices. It's no secret that pink eye and the flu spreads like wildfire in a classroom setting. We contract with an unpopular physician who needs new patients and YOU pay only $20 a month fee for unlimited sick visits. We can offer it this cheaply because at this price, the doctor will be the only game and town and know immediately which classrooms have pink eye, lice or the flu as the "problem of the week." FAR less time is needed in evaluating symptoms once we have our index case documented. Everyone wins!

4. Book fair sales. Don't go to Barnes and Noble or browse on Amazon for exactly what you want. Attend our "literary fare" and purchase classics such as Captain Underpants or watered-down children's literature with easy to read type. Teachers can write up "wish lists" based on the mostly inane choices we offer or they can deal with whatever Central Office gives them that year (if anything). While you're there, your children will pester you to buy erasers that smell nice, silly novelties and small "educational" items. Everyone wins!

Oh, wait. Number 4 is actually being done in our local school...

10 comments:

  1. I prefer the fund raisers where the scouts or cheerleaders or athletes or whatever just ask for donations. I give what I can when I can and that's that.

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  2. Yep. Just hand the money over and you know if they're honest that 100% of it goes to a good cause. No worries about candles and gift wrap. :)

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  3. I am not a big fundraiser person either. I was livid when our district sent my kindergartener home with a case of chocolate worth $75.00 and expected him to be responsible for it. PLEASE! Like *I* am going to schlep a case of candy to my family and hose them when they can buy good chocolate at the store for half the price of one bar of the fundraising junk.

    Not to mention, the older kids would take the candy out of the little kids boxes on the bus.....and *I* was responsible for any missing candy or money....uuummmmm, no.

    I like your ideas, sell something that people actually need and use...like the gas cards, store cards, etc. Or a down payment on a mafia hit, something that keeps on giving! Ooops, did I say that out loud? :P

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  4. I'll take the mafia hit for $200 Alex! Just kidding....kind-of.....

    Anyway, numbers 1, 2, and 4 are being done locally! The High School football team sells a card and, or coupon book every year for something like $40. One of them gives you a free pizza every week at Pizza Hut (that is a LOT of pizza. UGH!) and the coupon book has some useful things like groceery coupons, oil change coupons, etc.

    I still don't buy either. LOL! ;)

    Oh, and just to warn you - at least at my nephew's school - that book sale is ALWAYS held on Grandparent's visiting day. My Mom says the invite should read something like this, "Attention Grandparents! Come eat stale cookies, doughnuts, choc milk, & juice with your grandkids tomorrow. While you are in insuline shock, feel free to drop $75 on books at the book fair. Thanks for playing!" :)

    Steph

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  5. Wow, Blondee, that's a whole 'nother post, but it's been a problem in the past here as well. Usually the dollar amount is under $30, but still when you have bunches of kids who lose things you could be out (or have to fight over) a couple hundred bucks.

    Stephanie... I don't know what to say. I WAS KIDDING and being SNARKY on all those points except #4. I was thinking of the worst, most outrageous things I could think of!! It wasn't even meant to be a cut on public school or real fundraisers, or anything... and to hear that it is really true?? Is... scary. No one else in real-people land is seeing it my way I s'pose.

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  6. Way back in the 70's and 80's our kids schools used chunky chocolate bars as fundraisers. It was really good chocolate at only $2 a bar, so when the kids came home with a box, I bought the lot each time and we'd all share it.

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  7. Yummers. We had spice sets. I know my dad had a tizz about it and I forget what happened. The kids across the street sold like 50 million of them and were presented with some Darth Vader head thing in front of the whole school. It's probably actually worth quite a bit now... I didn't get anything. (waah)

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  8. I hate fundraisers, and avoid those forms like the plague.... most kids know that I am not interested in buying anything.

    I do like the recycling fundraisers, where kids can ask for used ink cartridges and old cell phones and recycle them for dollars.

    I also like magazine sales, because you are actually getting a discount. But I say no to dear sweet children, if I am not getting a bargain on the item they are selling.

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  9. But do you keep old ink cartridges and cell phones around? I have one realllly old one but have no idea whether it is recyclable.

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  10. LOL! Leave it to our town....;P

    I do like the recycle fund raisers too. There is one where you collect empty water bottles and send them to a company who will refill them with an organic liquid compost. :)

    Steph

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Non-troll comments always welcome! :)