"And while I'm sure that you (name), are a responsible homeschooler, I've met women over the years that are basically pretending to homeschool and teaching their children almost nothing, or only teaching the subjects that they themselves enjoy. I believe strongly in every parents right to homeschool, but both parents and school systems need to be accountable for teaching real skills." - Andrea Rayna Withers, from the comment section of a recent HSLDA post on facebook.
Oh, yay! I love pretending to homeschool. How about you? There are just so many ways to do it! Here are a few I thought up off the top of my head. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
1. Say things like, "E = mc SQUARED these are low prices!" near the shelf stockers in Wal-Mart.
2. All y'all religious homeschoolers, make sure to train your children to say, "WOW, Momma, that done fulfilled prophecy according to Jeremiah 4:29 right they-yer!" Have a silly contest between your eight children for "most obnoxious religious reference spoken loudly in front of strangers" on each outing. Nothing like reinforcing those stereotypes. Unfortunately, this ploy does not work for ethnically Chinese or Indian homeschoolers. Snap.
3. Train your child to have an obsessive interest in one area and then turn him loose on the town when he's feeling talkative. Make sure their obsessions are nerdy or this won't work. Obsession with chess and Ancient Rome is *good.* Hello Kitty and her accessories *bad.* Got that, Emperor? It's ok... recently he discussed obscure Latin sayings and the battles of Julius Caesar with some old guy named "Homer" in the post office.
Okie-doke. It's your turn, Great Pretenders! Let's have it.