It's today! Whoopeee!
To celebrate, let's make sure there is far less "population" to celebrate next year. Just keep people in the third world nations from reproducing, and it's gonna happen! We need to educate these chicks and give them "family planning services."
And it's working! In fact, maternal deaths have decreased because fewer people are becoming mothers! (Can't have a maternal death without... you know... being maternal and all.) "From these latest estimates," writes Babatunde Osotimehin, "we can see that investments in improving access to reproductive health are bearing fruit."
"Bearing fruit." Oh ba ha ha!
This dude is appointed by the UN to sit in judgment of who is getting married "too young" or having babies "too early." Notice nobody ever messes with the reproduction abilities of a man, folks. Men would not put up with that crap. Women shouldn't, either.
Bah. Now I'm not in the mood to eat the cake I prepared for this special occasion. It had sprinkles, too.