21 March 2013

Good Heavens, It's Contagious!

Autism is now a 1 in 50 disorder!  Run for the hills! 

I mean, now it's two percent of the whole population.  What's going to happen when it becomes three or four percent of the population?  Will society collapse?  Or will we just have too many engineers?  Ay yi yi!

A friend noted they always come out with these alarming statistics right before those stupid "light it up blue" months.  You know.  Because Autism Speaks working for a "cure" is really working right now and they need more money, right?


So anyway.  Two percent of the population.  Maybe they are coming for you next.  I've comprised a handy checklist of autism symptoms which will hopefully ease your mind that you do not have this fatal disease.

1.  Do you like Pokemon?  I mean a lot.  Like obsess about it.

2.  Or Star Wars?  Or Star Trek?  Or Minecraft?

3.  Doctor Who.  If you're too into this and can identify all the doctors, it's all over for you.

4.  Are you an introvert?

5.  Do you spend a lot of time online?

6.  Do you have trouble in certain social situations?

7.  Do you think this whole thing is blown out of proportion?

8.  Would a diagnosis make any difference?

I'm thinking the whole "epidemic" could be solved in the DSM 6 just by eliminating the possibility of an autism diagnosis.  Just take autism out of the manual and problem solved.  In fact, I think every "disorder" out there could be completely cured through the magical medical process of re-diagnosis.

Ok, really?  It's a "spectrum disorder."  That means all different kinds of people are diagnosed and almost none of them are like that Rainman guy.

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