Another thing it's important to do is just be a plain old bad person. Have lots of cigarettes and drugs around in the house. Be lazy. Also, be stupid.
|Totally unrelated picture of Emperor's recent artwork.|
Okay then. Maybe the mom is a lazy ghetto type, and maybe she's just got a very, very difficult child and needs some serious help (whether she is a ghetto type or not). The story simply doesn't give us enough information either way.
I know parents are the last to know these things. So I asked Emperor how he would start smoking if he wanted to. Emperor said that he really would rather spend his money on other things, but he will play along with the hypothetical situation. What he would do is research online what the best brand and value would be. He doesn't want to waste his money, you know. He would go to the store and get the biggest box (buying in bulk saves money). He knows he also needs a lighter. Then, he would be smoking. He knows you light the "white end" and that "there is probably a lot more to it than that" but that is all he knows right now. He hasn't researched it yet.
Ok. So how would he start and drive the van? Emperor said that there is a reverse button on the steering wheel somewhere or a lever. He would have to find that. But he wouldn't be so foolish as the child in the story! He'd have to "plan ahead" if he wanted to steal a car. He would have to watch me closely. He hasn't been doing that, so he can't answer the question yet. He is not sure which is the brake or gas pedal, but he reasons "it won't take long for me to figure that out."