OK, the birth mom in this story is allegedly a 23-year-old drug user who knows she can't take care of the child. Far from being "given up" on, this child has been given a REAL SHOT AT LIFE by the mother's actions. Maybe it's true she's a druggie. Maybe it's true she's off having sex with a fellow she's not married to. But to my mind, she did the right thing by the child by giving her up for adoption. The news story makes it sound like she was dumped without a care, and I highly doubt it's true. In my opinion, biological moms who VOLUNTARILY give up their children for selfLESS reasons (no money changing hands, etc.) deserve at least a modicum of respect no matter the situation. I think it's counterproductive to what should be everyone's goal (healthy child in healthy family) to villainize the biological mom when there are so many other "choices" she could make such as abortion, abandonment and keeping the baby without changing her lifestyle.
It's the first potential adoptive mom I have hard time reading about. Very selfish. She's 48 years old, and basically says she doesn't want to deal with the heartache when she finds out her prospective child is defective. Sorry to be harsh, but there it is. As the mom of two diagnosed and possibly three total autistic kids, I find this beyond heartless. Here's a woman who has the means to adopt and has passed whatever "test" has been thrown at her (financial, home study, etc.). Here is a person who is in a POSITION to become a parent and who declared her readiness. Well, 'till things got tough, anyway. Or maybe she'd have stuck around for this baby if it weren't for the fact that her in vitro worked and she'll get a real kid of her own instead of someone else's castoffs.
(Can you tell I'm a little steamed and being sarcastic?? I hope so. I'd hate to be flamed in the comment section for nothin'.)
Yes, I'm judging the potential adoptive mom more harshly than the bio mom. Maybe that's just me. Maybe there's much more to this story than we're told. But sure sounds like they're trying to paint the bio mom in a bad light and I think at *least* we can recognize that she realized her personal parental defects and yes, "gave the child up"... in the hopes of a better life. Who knows, but maybe the prospective adoptive mom did the same thing. Sigh.
God bless ya. Thanks for dealing with this probably over-opinionated post but I felt like sharing.