Emperor's First Day at Kindergarten

Well, I was really dreading this day. And this morning, the traffic was even MORE crazy than it was last year. Imagine a school of well over 600 students, where many live within the "parent responsibility" area and have no school transportation. Now imagine a parking lot that contains one small loop for all these parents to drop their children... and... (get this) they cannot be dropped off before 8:10. They are considered LATE and marked as such if they arrive at their classroom after 8:25. Then add some parking to the MIDDLE and SIDES of this strange loop, and throw in a couple contradictory arrows on the pavement. Sprinkle about 50 small kids walking between vehicles at all times as well. Fun!!

But in fairness, I don't see how they could make things too much better unless they allowed parents to drop off a earlier and let kids sit in the cafeteria for a little bit. But that would mean *gasp* a few extra teachers' minutes and MONEY for the sake of safety. Ya know that's not happenin'!

Elf and Emperor were having some sort of school conference this morning and Elf was letting Emperor know what to expect. Thankfully, Elf told him that they don't really lock you in the closet when you're in kindergarten, and there are some fun things to do. He actually has some pretty fond memories of kindergarten and his teacher. I think everything in public school went down for the little guy in first grade.

I picked up Emperor at noon. It is a much more difficult procedure than simply fighting my way through traffic though. Have to park, unbuckle everyone and buzz myself into school. Have to walk to the office and sign the kid out. Have to make small talk with the office staff.

The kid got ESCORTED into the office by the principal and vice-principal. Oh, great. Had to hear about how he had "difficulty keeping his hands to himself" and required several breaks throughout the day. How he is a little energetic. I made my responses as noncommittal as I could. I mean, I'm not going to AGREE with them, but arguing with them would be pointless as well. Let the EMPEROR tell me about his day.

We were on our way out when he shouted at Elf, "Guess what? They didn't even LOCK ME IN THE CLOSET!!"

I thought I heard my heart hit the pavement! Am I going to get a visitor from social services? I guess if I do I'll do the HSLDA checklist thing... but you know what? I have nothing to hide because *they* were the ones that locked Elf in the closet last year. (Yeah, they call it a "recovery room," the nerds.)

To hear Emperor tell it though, this is a place he can play all day and they give lots of breaks. He got to flip eggs in the air in the kitchen area. Not as fast as Spongebob though. He is a great chef. The snacks he brought were all eaten and it was some kid named Madison's favourite. (Madison used to be such an unusual name... but now I think every class is required to have at least two of them.)

Not everyone there is friendly. Many of the kids were "ok." But not perfect like Jesus!

I think I like the Emperor's account of his day better. I'm sticking with it!