08 February 2011

Alphabet Angst

Those Y and Z people deserve to be oppressed. We all know that they aren't as good as the A and B people. When I was at school, they still segregated the Ys and Zs to the back of the room. I don't know if they do that any more, though.

I was a B, so I got a good spot up near the front. I like having the spot up near the front of the class. I like getting first pick of all the food in the cafeteria, the coldest chocolate milk, being first in line for recess. Are you kidding? Those are my God-given rights. No Z is gonna take that from me.

You've heard of white privilege, but that's not really what confers my elite status in this world. You see, my ability to make good financial decisions - and thus, the whole economic path of my life - was nurtured by my being first for everything and being one of the specialest snowflakes in the whollle world.

That's right. It's because my last name started with a B that I am who I am today. Ha-ha! They really think that. Ok.

"'For years, simply because of your name, you've received inequitable treatment,' says Kurt Carlson, an assistant professor at Georgetown's McDonough School of Business."

Yep. Alphabet privilege. I "married down" into a G family and my children will pay the price for generations. I had sons, you see.

8 comments:

  1. Hmmm... I guess I'm really in trouble, since I went from middle to near the end! Although by the Japanese alphabet we are equivalent to approximately a C. Whew! My children are saved!

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  2. I guess that means I'm in trouble cause I'm near the end!

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  3. LOL Interestingly enough, Jesus said he was the Alpha and the Omega. Omega being the last letter in the alphabet, that means Jesus came not only to take on the sins of the world, but to identify with the oppressed people with Z-letter surnames. (Ok, not really.)

    I like the comment in the article that one of the fellows made about not being sure if this horrible feeling of angst was caused by having a last name starting with Z or being Polish, but he's gonna go into therapy next week to find out! LOL

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  4. I was a T, and those of us near the end got the shaft, I'll tell you. I especially remember in junior high, they let kids choose their electives in alphabetical order. By the time it was my turn, there were only two choices left. I got stuck with stupid PE the whole time I was there.

    Junior High. Blech.

    I'm a B now, and those end-of-alphabet losers can suck it.

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  5. Haha, I'm an L and i have never been placed in the middle of the seats ... or known an alphabet arrangement of seats ... I always make sure the teacher places me in the front, I like getting a good view of things and i like being seen.

    I think the rules of seating arrangments have changed. I think the bad people are split apart, the good people are in the front/middle and the others are just ... in the extra spaces around.

    At least ... That's the way it is in my Algebra class.

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  6. Hmmmm....we were never seated alphabetically. Good thing, too! My parents evidently didn't care if I was just a ho-hum middle of the road person being my first and maiden names were in the middle of the alphabet! *Pouts*

    Thankfully I had the foresight to try to undo their damage by marrying someone with a 'B' so I'm at the front of the line, and I go by my nickname from childhood, Blondee, again- front of the line! Whew!! Sneaky- rotten- no good parents!

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  7. This is so funny. I was a W growing up and I totally felt like the end of the barrell. I married up to a P. I can say from experience that the middle is better than the end.

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  8. Well that explains a lot. A whole lot!
    I was a "P". Married up to a "D", so my kids did okay, one of the girls married up again, she's a "C", her kids are doing great!
    I divorced the D and changed my name to an H. Not sure what difference it has made. Things are trundling along just like they always have for the last couple of decades.

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