22 February 2011

More Public School Testing

Well, I asked for it. I don't want to throw Elf out there without any help next year. That means requesting special services. That means going through their evaluation process. That means answering questions on their dopey psycho McWeird tests. (Please respond "always, almost always, sometimes, rarely or never," as it applies to situations with your child in the last two months, mmkay?)

Sets fires.
Runs away from home.
Has difficulty making friends.
Bullies others.
Hits other children.
And so on.

Well, yay.

Last time I answered these questions when Elf was barely six, they decided to label my kid as "emotionally disturbed." Mostly because he ran away from everybody ALL. THE. TIME. because he didn't want to go to school. (Wonder why?) Problem solved on that since he's homeschooled, and we have trouble getting the kid out of the house now more often than not. It's almost as though he lives at school now. :)

But... what kid does NOT set fires with his parents? Even Emperor was hoping to spend money on matches at Wal-Mart just yesterday because he wanted to figure out some "experry-mints" to do in the kitchen this week with cooking oil and flour, and would it save time to just put the fire IN the bowl rather than baking things in the oven? (Sorry. I didn't let him get any matches. Bad mom.)

And what kid does NOT bully others? Elf used Emperor's baby nickname when they had a disagreement the other day. (THAT IS BULLYING. I've read the literature from the schools.) Patrick is a little more subtle about it and just calls him "Octavian" when he is upset. And (sigh), yes, Elf and Emperor got into a giant hitting match two days ago over who should get to read the longest, because one child had a long chapter in his book to read and the other child said it wasn't fair because he didn't get a long reading when HIS chapter was long last time... so... no fair...(smack, smack, shove...)

Dang, but if I check the "yup, he's bullying, and pretty regularly" box, they'll be looking for trouble and watching to see if my kid flashes some gang signs that first day of school. If I don't, but check the "Elf is perfectly behaved all the time, a most amiable child; never cross" box, they will think (rightly) that Mom is a big smartypants liar.

I wound up checking "rarely" on about everything and on "sets fires," I checked never. I reasoned that "setting" fires without parental permission is probably what they meant, not "lighting" them WITH permission.

Ok, ok. I need to adjust my attitude on this. Look at it rationally: D let me do things my way by homeschooling these last almost five years, and now it's time to send the kid off on the bus next year. I'm still allowing myself to get snarky about the McFill-in-Circle-Tests, though. Because they really ARE pretty dopey.

Maybe I need to look at it from the school's perspective, too. They're getting a new kid. I think if I were getting a new kid to watch along with 600 of his best friends every weekday, I'd want to know if I could expect him to light fires and punch the teachers out. But still.

8 comments:

  1. I agree, those evaluation forms are ridiculous. We had a landslide of paperwork for all the girly's testing this past summer with the same type of idiotic questions. 'Does the child eat non food items? Always, Sometimes, Rarely, Never. Does the child scream uncontrollably? Always, Sometimes, Rarely, Never. Well, most kids have eaten non food items at some point, some more than others. Does that mean a child who has eaten dog food occasionally because they are a curious toddler get marked as sometimes? Or as never because it's not intentional? ALL kids have screaming fits. ALL of them. So....because you leave mega mart without the item at the cash out that the kid *really* wanted and they cry bloody murder, does that mean sometimes? What if it's a weekly occurence?

    I would check all the boxes, saying they all apply depending on the child that day and the mood they are in! lol

    I know, I know....that doesn't help. But hopefully it makes you crack a smile. :)

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  2. I have to agree here with Blondee, I would check them all just because...It does depend on the day and the child! I know your not feeling your best about this and I am still praying for you(: Those tests are horrible, I got one once that asked if my child eats hotdogs, bologna, or ? straight from the fridge sometimes, always, never...what kind of question is that?! Kids all love hotdogs and bologna, sigh...Those dopey things! I guess I should at least teach mine how to use the microwave huh?! I hope you are having a good week...Blessings!!!

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  3. It's always hard for me to answer those questions. I thought I was the only one.

    I usually just do it fast and pick the first answer that jumps out at me. That way I don't over think it. :) So how many will you be homeschooling next year?

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  4. Just Emperor. Though he and Elf had all the same work except math, so I won't be saving much time/effort. In fact, as you well know, sometimes it is way more effort to deal with school drama than keep them home. :)

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  5. OMGosh, I know what you mean. They are always calling me in about something. I get frustrated also that my kids work all day and then they are expected to do these extra projects and homework at home. I told teacher today that it's not coming so just take it from his grade.

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  6. Ugh! We had to fill out those dumb questionnaires for Younger Daughter recently. The behavioral psych got 4 people to fill them out (me, DH, teacher, teacher's assistant) and then ran some statistical program on them. I think she figures that once you've generated a lot of numbers, you mush have done something scientific. Garbage in, garbage out, I say.

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  7. I think the evaluation forms need to be re-evaluated.

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  8. I'm new here. I'm going back to school after 15 yrs homeschooling and taking my firts class in Special ed. Because its at night most of the students are taking the grad level of the class and are teachers. Its interesting seeing their perspective. They are legally obligated to show they have the parents perspective on all aspects of the child's abilities and disabilities. The questions have to be ones that help differentiate between similar learning disabilities.
    I think they understand how strange the questions are but have to address all the possible outcomes.

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Non-troll comments always welcome! :)