The First Day of School, According to Elf

A small Elf was very enthusiastically telling me about his "tiresome" school day yesterday. This is his story, with my notes in parentheses:

I was running to the bus stop (half a mile away!) and Patrick came after me and ripped the tag off my backpack. (Patrick is a senior, and they started school the following day.) We waited and waited for about 5 minutes and a bus came, but it was not my bus. The next bus was my bus! I got on but I couldn't sit all the way on the seat. I had to keep my foot out in the middle between all the seats so that I wouldn't fall over. It was very crowded and there were no window seats.

At school, I got out my inhaler. I went to the nurse's office. There were people in front of me. I waited. Then, I gave the medicines to the nurse. AND! Went to my locker.

I knew the combination, BUT! The locker did not work. SO! I went to the counsellor's office. Hmm, hmm, hmm, there were some people in line so I waited! THEN! They helped me with my locker. I put my backpack in. I put my lunch in. I got ready for my first class.

(Weren't you very late by then? No, Elf answered, I was just on time!)

Ok. THEN! I listened to a huuumungouslyyy longg lecture about school rules. After the first class, I stayed in the next class in the same room with Mrs. F but later realized I shouldn't have been there. I had some different class I never went to. I was not going to let that happen again, SO! I packed up ALL my stuff. I went out in the hallway. I looked down at my schedule. And the schedule said... I was supposed to be BACK in Mrs. F's class for third period. In the same room I just left.

SO. I went back in there and had that class. They went over the same lecture about school rules and all the things bad that will happen to you. I was bored like this (makes face) because I already heard this two times. Then I went to my fourth period and we were supposed to write things on index cards about ourselves, the teacher passes them around, and everyone has to guess who wrote what.

(So what did you write on your index card? I wrote, "I do not want to do this." The boy who got my card figured out right away it was mine. Because he saw me write it and laughed. What did the other children write? Well, one said, "I have a sister named Emily." Things like that, and they were hard to guess because how can I tell who has a sister named Emily?)

Next, I had PE. Mom, I am like in the Army. They want you to GET UNDRESSED there and wear the PE uniform. It is disgusting. But there are no girls that take PE in the same place. (Yeahhh, that makes sense.) They get a different place and don't do the same PE as us. BUT! You have to pass by the girls sometimes. Also? There are showers in there so somebody must be getting all naked.

Then it is LUNCH. They tell you when you can eat. Our class must sit at tables 15-17. (Who did you sit with at lunch? Some other kids were there. I ate my lunch. They talked about some other person who was not there I did not know.)

Next, health! I couldn't find the class and looked everywhere. I went in the sixth grade hallway. I looked around the corner. I went back to the gym. THEN! I went to the counsellor's office. He told me where the health room was. It was back near where I went to PE! I was (here he gets dramatic) running and going here and there and I had to pass *the girls doing PE.*

(Apparently this is embarrassing because "of what that looks like to them." So, are you their boyfriend if you walk by? NO! It just looks bad. It is embarrassing to pass by the girls.)

Up to health. The health teacher said I was in the wrong class! BUT! My schedule said health, SO! I went to the counsellor's office...

(Whew. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful but "tiresome." Guess what class he was supposed to be in just then? Something called "core skills." They teach you organizational skills, time management, that sort of thing. I sorta think he would benefit from that, but I'm SO PROUD of him for holding himself together the whole day and making it home alone etc.. A much smaller Elf used to run away and get very upset when things got hard.

PS. Another guess what? I think the counsellor is tired of seeing him and wants to see me soon to talk about his "adjustment" to public school and give me an "opportunity" to meet all the teachers. Ok.)