"Oh, I’ll judge the dickens out of you if you name your child Nevaeh or Kristayll or Natorious. Perhaps it’s racist/classist of me, but I think you are putting your children at a disadvantage right from the start and that’s stupid. Maybe even cruel." - Jenny.
Did you know that the "wrong" name will set you up for failure in school? Yeah. Having an "unfortunate" first name sets you up for failure. You're more likely to have a poor "educational outcome" or even become a smoker. Of course... no one gives a list of these "unfortunate" names.
I want to know what they are and what sort of doofus would think "Tyler" is more likely to smoke than "Bertram" or vice versa. I mean, how do they weight that scientifically? I want to know if they think I "saddled" Emperor with a "horrible" name (yes, I was really told that once). It's true that IM John Watson once remarked that with a name like Emperor, he should be out taking over countries or something. I guess it's not a chess-player name at all. If I had named him Bobby, would his rating be over 2000 by now?
Or Patrick. Poor Patrick. Patrick has a name that is nothing like the one I use for the blog. He has a name that screams "I AM A VERY OLD MAN." In fact, we've had to fight a medical company for transcribing his age incorrectly and marking him down as being born in 1933. I guess they couldn't possibly believe 1993 with a name like that. Oh man, what a pain that was to change an incorrect birthday. At least... I think I was able to get it changed. These people think once it's in the system, that's what it is, world without end. Amen.
It could be worse. One of my relatives has a close friend with the last name of Assman. Kid you not. Of course, it's pronounced Oz-man; what were YOU thinking?? But only think of how many jobs this guy mighta missed out on if the HR people at a company read his name with the wrong pronunciation and thought some joker sent it in.
Apparently you can prevent all this trauma, though. Just pay for a baby-naming service online! There are several companies offering this "product." I have to wonder if these services come back with generic suggestions such as "name your son Jacob or your daughter Emily" after they collect $50. Bet you they have one-time clientele from all over the world and these people are not comparing notes. Why ELSE would everyone name their chldren so similarly? Jacob and Emily are GREAT NAMES, don't get me wrong, but it's almost as though about half the parents are consulting the "most popular names" list and the other half are going for names like "Blue" and "Steve." (Kidding about the Steve part... but "Blue?" These parents need to get a clue... ha ha!)
What do you think? Do you fall too far into the "weird" ditch or too far into the "boring, generic name" ditch? Mostly our children have weird names but Elf and Rose have the same generic name, boy and girl version. This is LOTS of fun when prescriptions are written for "Elf" and don't specify Elf-boy or Elf-ina. :)