Skip to main content

You Are Responsible for Your Parents.

It doesn't matter if your parents have been grown up since well before you were born.  It also doesn't matter if they've never been financially dependent on you.  You will be paying the nursing home bills if your parents are indigent, and if you don't have the wherewithall to fight the home in court.

Now, family does for each other and it bothers me to see some folks in my neighbourhood dumped off at the home at the first sign of trouble.  And somehow then wow, grandkids have "bought" the house at an amazing low price.  (I truly believe God is gonna judge that.)

That's family for ya.  You don't want to give "family" too much power (good or bad) over one another's finances.  But if we can help a family member in a bind, we sure will.  Our little family, though, doesn't have a million bucks in the bank account in case somebody's health goes south next week.  I'd make a crappy caregiver, too, because I can't even lift the groceries any more.  I have to have my older children help me.

I'm sure hoping my parents and my husband's have good insurance because the best I can do is offer moral support and maybe a $50 gift card at Christmas.   Hey, at least I don't do the "nightgown and slippers" gig.

Comments

  1. I can't see any of my kids putting me in a home. None of us can afford it. I'll probably end up with one of the kids and they'll feed me as long as I do the dishes.
    The same sort of shenanigans about dumping grandma and taking the house go on out here too. I think it's a universal thing. Just thankful that not everyone does it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can see it happening easily to me or anyone else. What if your elderly loved one takes to wandering in the night? Or needs round-the clock care? You have to have a job. You have to grocery shop.

      I know my parents were faced with this decision and they checked on my Nana very frequently and did everything they could to make sure she was healthy and safe. Not a decision I want to make, but if we get there, I can NOT pay 100% of the costs. I can't even pay for my own retirement or college for my kids. :(

      Delete
  2. My dilemma is different. One parental unit won't move in with me because his mom is in a nursing home near where he lives and he understandably won't be parted with her. Another set of parental units appear to be well off, but need to downsize. Instead they expect us to fill in the gaps. We can't help either of them in their environment, but would be happy to move either or all of them into our home. I feel like it is unfair for barely elderly parents of adults to expect help, when we don't have any say in how the money is spent. Plus it would mean taking college money from the kids and giving it to the grandparents.... so not fair. I wish our parents thought like River (above).

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have a lot to say on this! (1) our older neighbor went to an assisted living place (not a nursing home; a swanky place) and her son/DIL miraculously moved in to her huge house (4 bedrooms is huge to me) rent-free. (2) I found out recently my grandma tricked her own dad into going into a nursing home. (3) I always say I will keep all our parents at my place but I know that is hard when you have failing bodies and grumpy minds. So what you are saying is I'd better get off the Starbuck's and start saving money?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Luckily for us, we have at least 4 of our kids who have said they will care for us when we no longer can! We must have done SOMETHING RIGHT!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Non-troll comments always welcome! :)

Popular posts from this blog

Reading Curriculum: ABeka Book and BJU Press

Did you know that in the state of Missouri, homeschoolers must teach reading as a separate subject?  I don't know how anyone could homeschool well without teaching their child to read... but OK. 

I got many of my ABeka books used and collected them over time.  I'm glad I came across these readers early in my homeschooling years.  It teaches children to read step-by-step.  I don't think I've seen a more effective reading program for the elementary years.  The children love the stories, and what I appreciate about them is that there is a rich and varied language even in simple-to-read books in this series. 

My set is pretty old, and some are even from the 1960's and no longer listed in the reading series.  I think if I had to do things over again somehow, I think I'd just spend on a curriculum set and be done with it.  That's the thing, though, with homeschooling.  By the time you figure out what the perfect curriculum is for you, your children have graduate…

Holiday Gifts for the Homeschool Teacher!

Merrymaking hint:  leave this post up on your phone/ computer for your family to "accidentally" find!  Let the magic begin!

 All teachers love a little appreciation every now and then, including homeschoolers.   I don't know about you, though, but I don't want any apple crap.  So first rule:  no apple crap! 

Otherwise I'm pretty open.  I love getting gifts, even if it's just something small or simple.  One thing I love is when my children want to help out and make lunch or clean up or put their laundry away.  Or just behave themselves and get their math done.  This is a really big thing when you think about it.  

And from the adults in my life, the gift of coffee always shows love - or rather, someone not wanting an "I need coffee" emergency in the middle of winter after a big snowstorm.  Somehow, I always have a lot of coffee in my pantry during the winter months.  (Guess why.) Thanks, D! 

My gallery of homeschool appreciation pics:




Homeschooling is NOT So Hard.

I wish I'd have known this starting out. I wish I'd have known that it's actually LESS work to just homeschool your child, than to be an "involved parent" at school.

We've enjoyed elementary school with our older boys. *Most* of the teachers were actually pretty competent and caring (the others, I save for another blog post, another day...). We had the children involved in extra activities like the Spanish Club or Service Club, or choir, and they got a fair bit out of the experience.

But it's a LOT of work.

You get about a ton of worksheets that must be done by a certain time. Usually on a day when you're sick or have no time. You get the phone calls about this or that, and about a zillion sheets per day that sometimes contain important news, so you MUST go through them daily. The schools also *love* to throw in half days, teacher in-service days and early dismissals. Not so bad, unless you have children at more than one school and the schedu…