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Showing posts from April, 2014

I Am Never Allowed to Eat Nectarines Again.

Apparently I am not a very smart person.  I just swallowed a pit a few hours ago!  How can I do that?  I don't even get it.  Then, I called our insurance company's nurseline.   They made sure to ask my my member ID number and address and all that and THEN they asked me if I could breathe and so forth.

I told them I felt fine, but didn't know if nectarine pits were poisonous or if I needed to swallow something to throw it up or what.  And they didn't know.  Great.  At least they said they didn't know, and referred me to Poison Control.

They're poisonous.  I'm having a great night, I tell ya. 

Though what they say is probably not enough to really do anything.  Just... you know... expect things to come out in the next few days.

So now I get to worry about whether stuff will get stuck or if I will find the pit or... what.

I'm feeling pretty stupid about it all.  I mean, who gulps down a nectarine pit?  Me, I guess.  D says I can't be trusted with these …

Adoptive Families are Like Boob Jobs?

IF YOU WOULDN'T SAY IT ABOUT A BOOB JOB... from Rain City Church on Vimeo.

Mega-boobs are obviously not natural, and all you J-cup fake people with the 22-inch waist make us real chicks look like crap by comparison... but somehow?  It's impolite when other people stare or ask oddball questions.  I don't think adoptive families are quite the same thing at all, but it's a funny video.

How Evil is the Testing Machine?

This evil.  Copy/pasted from Moyers Public School's facebook page in Oklahoma:

"In my 25 years in education I have seen many changes. As a teacher, principal and superintendent, I have always tried to make these changes adapt to our particular school in a way that follows the guidelines but also takes into consideration the individual child. This has worked relatively well as I feel that we follow state guidelines and our students' needs are always considered.

" Personally, as an educator, I have always felt that too much emphasis has been placed on testing but if that is what is required by individuals more qualified than myself, then that is what we will do. However, with that being said, I find myself in a very difficult position.

"We have a family of students whose parents were both killed in a car accident this week. When our district test administrator called the State Department of Education to ask for an emergency exemption for these stud…

Socialization at Middle School

The internetz tell me that kids need that socialization, and you get a lot of it at middle school.  Thankfully Emperor goes half days so he can learn how to act from the righteous and upstanding models of humanity in his class.  And you know, Emperor needs to learn how to fit in a little better.

Emperor snorted when he heard this!  "Do you even know what they say in school?" he asked incredulously.  "The behaviour there is horrid, I'm serious."

It can't really be that bad... I don't think...

"I'll give you just one example," he told me.  "Yesterday, when Miss C went out of the room to make some copies?  Trent stood up and screamed, 'BOOBIES!'"

I couldn't help busting out laughing at this being the most horrible thing the kid could think of to relate to me.  I was expecting something much more awful.  Elf was aghast at my laughter and took me to task.

"You do realize that you are giggling at the equivalent of a yo…

Palcohol: Get Drunk Without Drinking!

Government approved!  So you know it must be good for you.  It's alcohol powder.  You can sneak it anywhere!  Get soused without paying outrageous drink fees at the stadium!  Bring a bunch along in your suitcase so your business associates don't figure out what an alcoholic you are!  Slip some into your girlfriend's food or drink and take advantage of the situation!

Only imagine the possibilities!  Did I mention you can snort it, too?  "Take your Pal wherever you go," Palcohol's website read.  Oh, and they also remind you to use their product "responsibly."  Makes perfect sense.

More Handmade Barbie Clothes.

Because now we have SOOO many Barbie-type dolls.  Guess how many we just got in a bag at the thrift store for $21 total?  Just guess.  I have spent all weekend washing the few wearable outfits that came with the set and running conditioner through the hair to de-mat and de-tangle.  Now they look almost new, and everyone has an outfit.  I didn't make the three t-shirts on the end, or Barbie's stockings, but everything else is pretty much "sew a straight line and stuff Barbie into the outfit."  Woodjie also got some man-dolls as he calls them.  I will show them to you later.

Sew Your Own Barbie Clothes!

If you want to make your own Barbie clothes, there's only one real thing you need to remember:  Barbies don't wear things out, and they can't be uncomfortable.  So you don't need to worry about durability, triple-stitching, or any of that business.  Want to see how easy it is?
 Here we go.  I made this little dress out of Rose's old fleece pants.  Fleece never frays, and that means I don't have to bother hemming anything!  Do you see I hemmed the dress above?  Then I wound up just hacking that with scissors because it was too long.  I didn't bother with sewing in elastic, either.  I turned Rose's old pants inside-out, and sewed in such a way that the elastic from her pants is the elastic of the new garment.  Why complicate things when they don't need to be?  Rose is six.  She will be thrilled when she finds these tomorrow morning on Easter.
 I held a Barbie up to the cloth and sort of traced a t-shirt pattern, left a space for the head, cut a V-sh…

Emperor Teaches Math

Here's a bag of coins, some plastic animals and a dry erase board.  Go do some fun stuff for "homeschool" today with the little people and I'll pay you a dollar.  Keep the math simple, though!  They are only just learning to add simple numbers.

Emperor begins to explain to the children that presently, each plastic pig is three cents, but due to inflation and gas price increases, they will be five cents each next year.  He's not going to get into why, but prices go up.  So how many pigs do you want to buy?  Ten?

Great.  Now all your pigs are dead because you forgot to buy food and fence them in.  Want to start again?  OK.  Yes, maybe seven pigs is a better idea.

Yes, I'll pretend you can buy food and a fence with the rest of the money.  Now the price has gone up and you can make a profit!  Want to sell your pigs at the local bacon stand?

Great.  But then you have to pay your farmhand.  And sales tax.  And now the income tax man has come around.  You just lost …

School Dress Codes... For Parents?

A Florida school district is considering a voluntary dress code for parents.  They say it's pretty hard to enforce the student dress code when Pops shows up with his pants halfway down his butt. 

Why the need to focus on how Mom is dressed?  She showed up, right???

The school board decided to host some totally lame "fashion show" next fall so everyone will know how to put their clothes on in the morning.  So. Insulting.

Would you go?  Could you imagine your child's teacher telling you what clothing is acceptable for you to wear?

Reading Curriculum: ABeka Book and BJU Press

Did you know that in the state of Missouri, homeschoolers must teach reading as a separate subject?  I don't know how anyone could homeschool well without teaching their child to read... but OK. 

I got many of my ABeka books used and collected them over time.  I'm glad I came across these readers early in my homeschooling years.  It teaches children to read step-by-step.  I don't think I've seen a more effective reading program for the elementary years.  The children love the stories, and what I appreciate about them is that there is a rich and varied language even in simple-to-read books in this series. 

My set is pretty old, and some are even from the 1960's and no longer listed in the reading series.  I think if I had to do things over again somehow, I think I'd just spend on a curriculum set and be done with it.  That's the thing, though, with homeschooling.  By the time you figure out what the perfect curriculum is for you, your children have graduate…

"I Hope Their Feelings Got Hurt Really Bad."

Big graduation pep rally at North High School in Bakersfield, California.  Two truant officers read the names of 34 teens who would not be graduating and instruct them to come forward, look at their fellow senior friends and "say goodbye."

FOX News interviewed a "motivational speaker" who says that the teens should have been publicly shamed because they've demonstrated they're not even smart enough to graduate from a (said sneeringly here) public school.

"I hope their feelings got hurt really bad," he said, adding that this is going to really inspire these students to go to school every day it's open and complete their studies.

Here's a link given by the school's website about how teachers can avoid bullying.  Examples:  don't give any indication of a student's grade (um, hello, telling people "these kids failed" sorta violates that?) and never display a student's weakness so that others can see it (yeah).

I hope s…

The Kansas City Zoo!

Language Arts Curriculum!

All About Rose.

Please Visit Rose!

Rose would love some visitors to her blog.  Would you follow her as well?  She'll probably write something once or twice a month, so she won't be too hard to keep up with.  Here's her web address:  Rose's Blog.

WARNING: LEGOs Destroy Souls!

“These toys can have a negative effect on children. They can destroy their souls and lead them to the dark side” Polish priest Slawomir Kostrzewa told the UK Telegraph recently.   They're the work of the devil!  Much as My Little Pony toys are really the "carrier of death."

I know you're looking at the date of my post and thinking I'm making it all up, but no such luck.  Apparently this is not a hilarious April Fool's joke like the "I'm hiding in the bathroom during a massive college campus shooting" prank this chick tried to pull off.  (Hint:  it doesn't end well.)

I do think some of the LEGO products are a little overly-dark for small children, however.  And I would allow my older children to collect and construct BIONICLE items, but not to watch the movies and read the books while they were smaller.  There's a whole fake theology and storyline connected with them that I don't appreciate.

I don't really want to devise motives …