Merry Christmas!

My father and his twin brother at Macy's, 1954.  Aren't they cute?  My dad tells me that they had to wear the same outfit all the time.  When one of them got dirty, they both had to change. 

The Sideburns

Elf refused to get his hair cut. He wanted to keep his "sideburns." He CANNOT have his sideburns cut, ever. He's absolutely freaked out about it. But he *needed* a haircut, folks. Needed.

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I've tried all kinds of goofy agreements, but they didn't work. I can't have a ten-year-old physically fight me while I'm holding scissors, so finally I just told him I'd keep the sideburns and we'll just see what they look like.

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"And you won't cut them after we see what they look like," he told me. ("Well, we'll see," I told him. "Maybe you won't like them.")

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We kept on and on this way. WHY would a ten-year-old be so concerned about sideburns? Nobody wears those any more.

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"They look manly," Elf told me with a sniff.
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"Well, a lot of the really, really OLD Presidents wore sideburns, Elf," I said to try to convince him.

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"Yes," he told me. "And they were manly."

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Sigh. He doesn't know who Elvis is, or that might be a convincer. So I had to use my diplomatic skills, which I have in abundance, oh-so-skillfully. Elf and I and finally we were able to strike a deal. I would document the haircutting process, and blog readers would let us know what they think.

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So... are sideburns in with the blog-reading set? Do they look manly? Elf and I want to know.

The Dark Rider

He's really a much-beloved Japanese doll wrapped in a cloth pirate hat, but he plays his part so well. He keeps coming up behind me and whispering, "Baggins..." Can you tell we are midway through The Fellowship of the Ring?

Summertime with G and Q

G and his friend Q have been hanging out this summer. Q, as you remember, is a rather interesting sort. Let's just say I finally figured out that much of his problem is that he doesn't take social cues very well. I look back over his past behaviour and I don't think it's a parent thing at all... it's a Q thing.

Yeah, here I am with all these different kids, and I just now realized that.

Ok, I didn't. Actually, *G* had to clue me in to the fact that Mom, he just doesn't understand a "hint." You have to tell him. And that's true. Once you just flat out TELL him, he's ok... no beating around the bush or trying to be "polite." No trying to drop the subtle hints. It's rude to just TELL someone they need to go home. But that's what I have to do so that I don't wind up getting mad at him and he doesn't wonder why he isn't invited over. Q is still a friendly lad despite this blunt approach. In fact, I think he appreciates it.

I can't say that G could ever ask for a better friend, but both Q and G would do well to take a social skills class or three. Q calls six times in five minutes. He shows up at the door. He comes by after G has hung out at his house because (I guess...) G can't make the two blocks alone. Then Q wants to hang out, both of them all sweaty and smelly, in my house.

Arg.

Not to be mean, but I told G to be home at 4 so he could get a shower and dinner would be ready by 5. I don't begrudge the kid a drink of water when he comes by... but... I kept saying that I was making dinner now. (I thought that was direct enough; guess not). I FINALLY had to get sorta rude with Q and say (in a friendly tone), "Well, it's time for me to kick you out, buddy!" And he was ok with that. "Ok, see you later, Mrs. C! Call you later, G!"

And soon I'm going to have to say, "Q. You are just calling too much. Two calls per hour, barring emergency, okayyyy?"

They are best friends. And my, does Q love to talk. A lot. He also has several funny stories about the newest craze.

Hopefully you humour me after my little post yesterday... but the latest craze is for young ladies to lift their shirts and show their boobage to young men. Really fast, lift the shirt, put it down again. You wouldn't notice if you weren't looking.

I don't get it, Q. What would the inner motivation be here? Do they expect the young men to suddenly ask the fair damsel's hand in marriage, or what?? Is this a request for a date? Are you boyfriend/girfriend officially after that happens? Don't get it.

Q turned about as red as his hair. (Well... I don't think that's it, exactly... he told me. But he went no further.) And from his chatter I gleaned that this has happened on several occasions to G. When interrogated, G neglected to mention it because why should I know this? I would just get upset. And a girl flashed him during YEARBOOK signing time at school? You didn't tell a teacher about this right away? (I got an eyeroll from that... he's pretty cool under questioning.)

Whyyy did this happen to my little kid? Was this her way of wishing him a good summer? Ok, I still don't get it, and the more I declare this, the funnier the guys seem to think my puzzlement to be.

So I asked D about it and he said no, no one is going about boobflashing him. "What? No, I'm an old guy. Why would they do that to me?"

Mental note: must be young, eligible male. Hmm... So I called Patrick up to ask him and he replied, "WHAT? I missed it?"

I'm sure he doesn't mean that. Please say he didn't mean that.

New Teen Craze!

Forget this earring thing G just did. That's nothing. He's nowhere near as fashionable as the teen WEREWOLVES wandering around schools in "packs." I guess in Missouri, we are behind the times fashion-wise, but I have yet to see children howling in large groups outside our local mall and wearing long furry tails. As explained in the video, everyone is part animal and we must find this part of ourselves and embrace it. Sort of Darwin meets occult spiritual practice meets third grade reasoning skills sort of philosophy. Does anyone else remember the cheesy Teen Wolf movies from the 80's? Car surfing is apparently not part of this culture, however.

Parenting Teens

A friend did this last night. G came home with a different earring, a BIG "diamond" one. D was quite upset. I didn't like it but tend to put this sort of thing into the "things we don't fight about" box. D was very mad. He mowed the yard for about two hours. He had several discussions with G between clipping vines and mowing.
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Wellllll... he's still really mad. He still really hates it. But he is going to bend on this when he saw how important it was to G. It is starting to look all bruisy and icky. It wasn't even a gold earring they used! I took him out and HE bought rubbing alcohol and a gold earring. Hope it doesn't get infected. But wow. I hope his taste doesn't run into mohawks or purple hair next. It wouldn't bother me *so* much, but poor D can't stand much more, bless him!

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Maybe I'm not too upset because I remember doing this once myself. KT and I were 15 once and liked to listen to Duran Duran in her basement with her cat. We used a hot needle, a cork, and some ice and pierced each other's ears. We were cool. Now we are both all grown up and she is a professor of history. :)

The Look.

Leather jacket for about $5 at the thrift store. It really looks *sharp* on G and he has gotten a lot of compliments at school. Yes, it is missing a button, but it's otherwise in excellent condition and is old enough to be back in fashion again. This leather is super-soft, too. D bought it to tear up and make little projects out of, but G is giving it some new life. I wish, with the negative temperatures out there, that he did not go out to the bus stop to wait just as you see him here. Apparently wearing a hat or jacket/ being sensible is very out of fashion.

Elf Ears!

Some pictures of genuine elf-ears. Elf's ear is the top picture and Emperor's is the bottom picture. You'll notice a slight crumpling on Elf's ear and a little point on Emperor's. Natural elf-ears do that. Now. Ready to see someone who wants to be an elf really, really badly? And will go to surgical lengths to do it? Yowie. Elf told me after viewing the photographs that his ears are "elfie enough," and he's happy with his ears the way they are now.

Homeschool Anniversary

Recently we celebrated two years of homeschooling! We made a strawberry cake with cherry chips and had sparkling cider to go with it. Note that the homeschoolers in question are in their footie pyjamas. Nothing like fulfilling those stereotypes for all to see on the blogs.

Bad Fashion Choices: I am NOT ALONE!

It's somehow comforting to know that another 20-odd adults suffered through an entire childhood dressed just as badly I was. Can you find *me* in the picture?

That Sonogram Had Better Be Right!!

Had another sonogram yesterday and bought this dress to celebrate afterwards. It's a Polly Flinders handsmocked dress! Price 'em on Ebay or elsewhere online and you'll see what a bargain this 99-cent dress really is!! Cute, huh?? That sonogram had better be right!

The Emperor's New Hat

You can see baby Woodjie's bunny hat in the background, too! Post a comment and tell D what you think of his photographs... he has taken several of the photos I've posted these last few days.

More Fashion Sense!

Perhaps I inherited my innate sense of the cool, the hip, the now, and the groovy from my parents.

I Am THE Fashion Guru!

Just admit that you guys will NEVER equal me in my fashion sense, and that you are envious.