Skip to main content


Showing posts from June, 2010

Should I Laugh? Is it Funny?

"Reporters with bylines at non-ideological journalistic outfits, like the (Washington) Post and other old-fashioned newspapers, will only be able to cover ideological politics if they can amputate their own political opinions." Article.

Excuse me a minute (non-ideological! Ha ha ha haaaa! *snort*). Um, ok. I'm back.

The article concerns itself with a WP journalist who wrote mean stuff in his off hours under his real name. He suggested, amongst his other sage ramblings, that Matt Drudge go kill himself. Just think of the oppression this poor reporter is under. I know the people in Pakistan are just weeping for him. Oppression like this is akin to telling a restaurant critic not to blog under his real name that Mario's Restaurant should burn and Mario the chef murdered because he didn't like the polka-dot mushrooms they served there last week.

I can't believe this is even an issue. Do you think that the Washington Post neglects to sit down with prospectiv…

Miss Pretty Pretty

Rose likes to make ca-coos (circles) and happy-s (faces) and dots. She wants to tell you all the colours. She can tell you, "I pooT. Eee-yucky. Poo!" when it's time to change her. In short, the kid talks too much for herself and now must translate for her brother Woodjie. She is also learning the names of all the other people in the family as well as Pikachu, Butterfree, Happiny, and several other Pokemon. She also wants to learn to go potty. We had to teach her that she is not allowed to stand to do "weiners." (Yeah. I'll just let her think that's what it is.) She hasn't gone yet, but we have watched the potty video about 500 times. That also features a boy, but he "puts his wee-wee and poo-poo into the potty," and doesn't stand and jump at the last minute for fun like SOME people I know. Here's a lovely clip from the video. The doctor talks about 89 years in that same voice, too.

Not Really a Debate

Funny how news articles can turn something that isn't really a debate into... a debate.

Hello. And for those of you who weren't aware, let me welcome you to the 21st century. In this century, pretty much everyone now agrees that beating women, selling them, and/or raping them is a "bad" thing. It's frowned upon, ok? Ta-da... look at all that agreement. Yay.

On to rape "prevention." Well, men just need to suddenly become just like Jesus (*zing*) and this sort of thing would never happen. Next problem?

Hmm... guess that didn't solve much. And it sounds rather like "ignoring the problem," doesn't it? Ok. Um... how about we all agree that rape is really bad, and if you're caught, you'll be severely punished? Like with probation or something. If you're caught. And if your witness recognizes you and isn't too scared to testify. And if there is enough "evidence," or the police even bother to gather it.

Oh. …

Death Metal Rooster

I know most everyone's on vacation, so I thought I'd provide some farm-y entertainment for the rest of us who are too poor to leave home for anywhere interesting. I'm pretty sure there's a way you could download this from YouTube onto your MP3 player or Nanoprobe (tm) attachment so that you can listen to it during those times when you need a little relaxing musical refreshment.

Summer Break!

That's right! I'm giving Elf and Emperor A WHOLE WEEK OFF to do whatever they want! After their mathematics is done. :)

School starts again on July 1 and follows a relaxed summer schedule. We'll start only some of our regular subjects. This includes our learning about Ancient Egypt. Later in the year, we'll do Rome and Greece. I have borrowed several books from the library and movies, too. Since I'm an HSLDA member and renewed for two years instead of one, I got the Drive Thru History DVD on Greece and Rome for free! Wa-hoo!

Patrick hasn't been doing much for his summer. He is now able to have a friend over every now and then. We had not been able to do this for quite some time.

Elf and Emperor got some crazy idea into their head, and now they are quite insistent that they are putting on a "circus" next Wednesday. I've seen their practices, and I can tell you that most people would ask for their money back. The acts consist of the child…

"Gee-yee" and "Az-eye-ah"

Rose really thinks her name is Girly. "Gee-yee," as she calls herself, will ask for her brother all the time. If he's not in the room she will call, "Az-eye-ah?" and look for him. Here they are, all tuckered out after church.

Summertime with G and Q

G and his friend Q have been hanging out this summer. Q, as you remember, is a rather interesting sort. Let's just say I finally figured out that much of his problem is that he doesn't take social cues very well. I look back over his past behaviour and I don't think it's a parent thing at all... it's a Q thing.

Yeah, here I am with all these different kids, and I just now realized that.

Ok, I didn't. Actually, *G* had to clue me in to the fact that Mom, he just doesn't understand a "hint." You have to tell him. And that's true. Once you just flat out TELL him, he's ok... no beating around the bush or trying to be "polite." No trying to drop the subtle hints. It's rude to just TELL someone they need to go home. But that's what I have to do so that I don't wind up getting mad at him and he doesn't wonder why he isn't invited over. Q is still a friendly lad despite this blunt approach. In fact, I think…

A Smokin' Post.

Nameless Teen is upset because I won't let him sit in the back with the other teens in church. Unfortunately, he likes to wait until juuust before the quiet "worshipful" songs to slip out on the other side of the aisle to make his move away from the family. ONE and only one time in the past, he sat next to a very *ahem* developed young woman during services and her friend (Mrs. C does not notice these things ordinarily, but this was an UNUSUALLY prominent feature on the young woman... and quite um, accented by her clothing/lack thereof).

There would be NO WAY for me to pull him away from these people without getting up and bumping into everyone while they are intensely quiet and worshiping... or without calling attention to myself during the prayer time in which Pastor prays that we focus only on God etc. etc. and the Holy Spirit moves, etc.

I'm thinking my son is focusing on something that shouldn't be out for public display, and I'm helping God out by getting…

It's That Time of Year Again...

Wasps LOVE this window and come year after year. There is no way to get up into the window from outdoors; it's three floors up. From inside, there's no way to get up in there without dis-assembling the entire window (so I never, never clean INSIDE the windows; deal with it). Elf and Emperor like to take turns standing on chairs near the window so that they can see what the wasps are doing and how they live. The happy cry of, "LOOK! They're having more babies!" brought D over to the window in a hurry. He started tapping on the glass violently, disturbing their family life and I tried to appeal to his sense of empathy by telling him he was ruining their peaceful Father's Day. "Good!" he said. He had us tap on the glass to anger them and draw them outside where he would be waiting with the sprayer. Of course, he didn't get them all. He's mad. He comes by and bangs on the window about every three minutes and speaks some not-blessing sorts of wor…

Happy Father's Day!

... with love from Girlie and the gang.


After viewing this, you'll want to display this handy-dandy "Golden Snip Award" proudly on your blog sidebar. Too bad I'm not allowed to, though, and am only showing this to you FOR DEMONSTRATION PURPOSES ONLY. In reality, it's "reserved" for those people who are truly responsible and surgically alter their bodies so that they never have children! See, humans keep cluttering up the earth with their offspring, and the earth would be a lot better without any of us around. How dare we think our species has any right to exist! That's specie-ist, you know.

Bummer for me that I would only be allowed to download and share a "Silver Snip" award on my sidebar if I were to take permanent medical measures against pregnancy. Let's see... I could go through painful surgery and become a second-class, soon-to-be extinct citizen! I could also get the official child-free tattoo! Several awesome ones are featured right here (scroll down). They look so s…

Patrick is Driving!

You knew it had to happen sometime. He had been reluctant to get his permit for quite a while. He could have gotten one at age 15, but he didn't want to be so "responsible." It's ok for him to watch five younger siblings when I have to go out... that's not overwhelming. At least three of the siblings are autistic and have special needs. That's not overwhelming.

Driving? He just wasn't ready to do that.

When he came back from China, I had his passport. I didn't want to put it back into the safety deposit box without getting his driver's permit. Why? Well, G's friend Q (you remember Q!) got his permit already. If Q can drive, Patrick really needs to be on the road, too.

Patrick was "ok" with getting his permit once I told him I thought it was time. It wasn't even really an issue either way. He studied the book for about half a day and came up with a million odd questions like, what do you do if you shouldn't pass on a hill, but a…

Patrick's Trip to China... A Debriefing.

Here's the picture I'm *allowed* to use from Patrick's trip to China. It's the only one I'm allowed to put on the blog. The other pictures are *private,* he tells me. They feature a few shots of the Great Wall, and of himself and his friends, but mostly... they're just odd. Pictures of his teacher picking his nose. "Random Guy" pictures... of other obviously European/American/stuff we see at home anyway- type tourist-y people. And photos of a *sex shop* and the prostitute cell phone number graffiti. Just classic. Just what he'll want to share with his grandkids someday.

That's ok, though... I'm sure he brought home lots of nice pressies for his siblings and the post cards he sent will arrive in the mail soon.

Well, no, he didn't get anything like that, Patrick told me. His suitcase was crammed with old pop bottles, food wrappers, GARBAGE from his trip (they weren't allowed to throw out things at the hotel... what is up with…

One Ring to Rule Them All

It arrived on time for his birthday after all. Mount Doom is an upside-down coffee cup with icing decorated by Elf for his special day. Happy tenth birthday, Elfie!

Ummm... Yes. We are Oddish.

(Oddish is actually a Pokemon, you know.)

Dinner is interesting at my house. Emperor is raising his Cheez Ball into the air. "Whosoever finds Moby Dick gets this Cheez Ball dubloon!" he announces. Elf tries to snatch the ball, but "Captain Ahab" claims the dubloon for himself. It's his whale, you know. Chomp, chomp, chomp. Even Girlie is having a great time making noise with the "dubloons." Woodjie is crying and feeling left out. Poor kid is allergic to milk and eggs and Fritos just aren't the same.

After dinner, I'm drying my hands on the towel I keep looped around our fridge door when I notice Elf cringing. I hadn't beaten him yet today, so I was wondering what was up with the kid. He looked as though God Himself were going to smite him on the head just then.

What's up with that, Elfie??

"Well..." Elf is backing up a few steps now and wrinkling his nose. "Patrick wiped up cat barf off the floor and then hung the…

Making a Hello Kitty Doll

Did I mention Emperor has a thing for Hello Kitty? He sewed this doll from a kit we got at Jo-Ann fabric store. He takes this little dolly about everywhere with him, puts it with some of his other dollies, and builds houses for them. He also has an extensive tinkertoy gun collection for Hello Kitty. Apparently Kitty is VERY BIG into the whole idea of defending fortresses and testing launching weapons. (I guess she is in the red jumper militia.)

Making a Tile Mosaic

This is Elf's art project. He designed what he wanted to do with his tiles and made a detailed drawing. Then, we broke the tiles and glued them down to the base. He picked just the right tiles for the edges and then "filled" the other spaces with smaller broken pieces. After this dried, we mixed the grout and filled it in. We let it dry 15 minutes and wiped the top. Then, after it was completely dry, we wiped it until it was completely free of grout on the tile surfaces. Here it is, finished! Elf says that it took a long time, but it was worth it. It's a volcano at sunset.

Kansas City School District

The funny thing about Kansas City School District is that it sure doesn't equal "Kansas City." Kansas City downtown is a teeeeeny tiny fraction of what is actually legally "Kansas City." I think "Kansas City" actually takes up about a third of the state and is mostly white and suburban. There is a good plenty of beautiful old farmland that is presently being torn up and made into boomboomboom little tract houses, big McMansions on teeeeny plots of land with teeeeny trees and matching mailboxes, and Mission-style apartments - mountainous! - that draw thousands.

I'm telling ya, Patrick has been invited to friends' houses that aren't even google map-able. Whole streets not marked. It doesn't help that street signs go missing or directions from 17-year-olds are sometimes a little fuzzy. But the "census" this year will no doubt show tons of people moving into Kansas City, even if those "tons of people" are certainly…

Happy Meal High School

Browsing the 'web and came across an interesting site designed to answer public school patron concerns at a district in upstate New York. (link; scroll way down to find excerpt)

I have two children in school and support their education, but school taxes are out of control. How do you expect people to keep paying more and more?

No one likes paying taxes. You could think of it as the cost to send your children to school. (LOL You mean public education isn't FREE? Someone pays for it?? Ok, sorry to interrupt. You may continue.)

Think about it this way: a home assessed at $200,000 pays approximately $6,000 in taxes. Students are in school for 180 days. This amounts to $33 per day. If you have two children attending school you are paying $16.50 per child per day. If they are in middle school, they are picked up at roughly 8 a.m. and dropped off at 4 p.m. That means that you are paying $2 an hour for each child. This doesn't take into account the fact tha…

On Order.

This will not arrive in time for Elf's birthday. I had to decide between ordering other things from a place that could deliver in time, or order from Amazon, get the "free" shipping, and buy THIS with the money I'm saving on shipping.

It was a hard decision. Stuff on time? Or more stuff... but later. Had to call Elf in to decide. I let him look at it and decide... is it worth waiting a bit longer?

He gasped when he saw the ring. Ooooohh. Well... Can he see the other stuff he's getting?

No. (That was pretty hard for him to hear!!)

But you can be in on the secret! He'll get the Two Towers CD and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I'm spending the money my parents sent out for Elfie's birthday. He will love it. :)

Thanks, A Noni Mouse!

Elf read my Keebler Chronicles blog post and asked me to post his comment. "This was a very funny blog post," he told me. "But I am still a Keebler Elf."

I'm using A Noni Mouse's idea of a "retirement" from the Keebler factory when Elf turns ten. I have taken a shoe box and pasted Keebler pictures all over the outsides and printed "Happy Retirement from all the elves at the KEEEEEEEBLER factory" for the top, ready for presentation on his birthday.

Inside, I have placed an ID card. It reads:

"Be it hereby known that
(Elf's Real Name Here)
is a retired Keebler Elf with all the benefits befitting retired Keebler elves; namely, promotion to Rivendell Elf status and Fifth-grade Elf status. Witness my hand and seal this 12th day of June in the year 2010 in the presence of J.R. Keebler, esq. et al.

(fake signature)
Ernie Elf"

This was placed over his picture in such a way that his face and shoulders are visible. I placed the Keebler logo …


With Patrick away in China, G is lonely. He found a friend and fell asleep late last night.

Patrick and Me.

Patrick and his orchestra group left at 3 a.m. yesterday morning. They should be in Beijing right now finishing dinner and getting ready for bed. I am 5 ft 8 inches tall, and Patrick is not standing as straight as he could be. I'm thinking his legs are probably sore from being cramped on the flight. :)

The Keebler Elf Chronicles

Elf is nearly 10. It's time for him to give up this idea that he is really a Keebler Elf. People sort of think that's a bit odd when you insist that.

"But I really *am* a Keebler Elf," Elf insists.

"No, really," I tell him. "Let's have a serious talk here, Elf. Time to be really honest. We like to pretend that you are a Keebler elf, and that you go to the Keebler factory at night when everyone is sleeping to make cookies, but you've really never been there."

"I go there every night! I make the cookies!" He folds his arms.

"The truth is that the Keebler factory is in Battle Creek, Michigan, and that it employs ADULTS, not elves, and that you have never been there."

"But the Keebler TREE; I've been to that. You're thinking of a different place!"

"No, Elf." I'm trying to speak calmly so he can really listen. "We both know the Keebler Tree and the Keebler elves are just advertising.…