31 December 2010

The Puritan Baby Book

You might consider naming YOUR children one of these baby names that are a part of my family's heritage. Somebody needs to compile a BIG book of Puritan baby names, before gems like these are lost forever:

Thankful Snow. You'd think this would be an uncommon enough name that a simple google search for "Thankful Snow" would reveal nothing. You would be so, so wrong. Several results, presumably for different Thankful Snows, popped up. Mine was born in Massachusetts a very, very, verrrry long time ago.

Mehitable. It's a girl's name. There was more than one... they were actually able to find suitors and get married, too.

Lemon and Orange. These are BOYS' names. You know... like "Roelof" and "Evert." We actually have several Oranges in our family tree. One of the Oranges, of course, named his son Lemon. I guess he was tired of being called "Orange" after his own father and wanted to give his son something more citrus-y and different. :)

Keziah. Girl's name.

Jerusha. Also a girl's name.

And finally... what were "Silence Hurd"'s parents thinking? Silence. Heard. Were they humourous little Puritans, or was it just one of those funny mistakes people made??

PS. Emperor's name is boring by comparison. More than once I've been asked why I saddled the boy with such a name, or how could he ever learn to spell it, and things like that.

30 December 2010

Vulcan Children

Forget being a Spartan. This week, it's all about being a Vulcan. Logically.

Elf now often walks about sedately with his hands behind his back. He tries to do the arched eyebrow thing. Sometimes he stands on his toes and rocks a bit. I hadn't noticed that Spock did this frequently, but Elf did. It is quite suitable to stand on your toes, Mother.

He isn't too immersed in the role, however. He finds his own ears "adequate" and is uninterested in consuming a tuna casserole despite Mom pointing out its obvious nutritional value. He "should prefer not." (Mom's translation: I can't play the Vulcan thing to my advantage the way I could his pretending to be a Spartan. Spartans did what they were told without question and Vulcans... doggone it but Vulcans can reason their way out of almost anything.)

Both Emperor and Elf would like to know how Spock can compute his "odds" all the time like that. Emperor has figured out something Spock hasn't, though... if you are not a main character, and you beam down on an unexplored planet? You're dead. Emperor jumps the OH NO dance when he sees a security officer going off by himself. "Don't stand alone in a red shirt! Don't stand alone in a red shirt!" he'll chant. It's almost like he's superstitious or something.

And he keeps sneaking up on people and applying the "Vulcan death grip." Ow, that hurts. He says of course it does. He's been practicing it on himself until he was almost able to break bones! I will have to add, "Don't use the Vulcan death grip on your brother" to the list of things I thought I would never have to tell my children. :)

A MIRACLE!!!!

Well... Patrick thinks this sort of thing makes people believe that Christians are stupid. And he's right. I'm not even seeing Jesus as clearly in this photo as I have in the past on burritos, garage doors, pub walls and the like.

Side note: I used to live in this town, too... long, long ago. This is where I learnt that there is a difference between black people and n*s. See, I didn't know that. I also didn't know that black people, contrary to reports otherwise, ARE allowed in the town. They can eat at the local Jim Dandy and everything. They just need to be out by dark. Yeah.

One friend a whole state away knew about this tiny town's bad reputation. I had no idea. "That's because you're not black, and you don't have our networks," he told me.

So there's a network? Apparently. So... why don't people band together? Move out here? Make them do something different? Marches and stuff? The answer I got was that it didn't really have any good jobs or well, anything that would make it worth anyone's while. Ok, he's right on that. I got paid $230 a week before taxes.

Also... if you work for the local paper there as a reporter, black people in OTHER CITIES will refuse to let you take their picture if you're covering the news there. This town, I'm telling you, was like a Twilight Zone where you never quite figured out the plot. Or a twisted form of Mayberry, where the deputy writes "missionary" under the MO on his report about suspicious activity in a parked car.

It's that kinda town... yep.

Post-script: I find this report entirely believeable.

28 December 2010

Avoid "The Culture" or Not?

Why Homeschool blog recently posted a story about a loving bunch of people at a local public school who *tried* to work together to help a family in need. I was just blessed reading about people - who likely had great needs of their own! -pulling together to help a family get a refrigerator. Apparently, it was hard for the parents to get everyone out the door on time without one for some reason... I suppose they've never heard of the brilliant "Pop Tart" strategy I sometimes employ.

This story didn't turn out as nicely as I had hoped.

The new fridge the school gave "solved the problem. For the next few weeks the children were on time. Then one week the children didn't show up at all. Finally the children returned to school, but from that time on were habitually tardy again."

"Again someone in the school did a little investigation and found out what had happened. (You might want to be sitting down for this.) The parents had sold the refrigerator and used the money to take the children to Disneyland."

And the teachers are gonna be held "accountable" for the test scores of these children. Way to go!

But in the post, this story and others like it are held up as reasons to avoid the public school: we want our children to avoid the "culture of poverty" that many schools contain.

I left a snarky comment, but honestly... I was impressed by this school's "culture." Helping someone out like that? They didn't have to do that. I know what the authors are trying to get across, though: you don't want your children to attend places where the prevailing "culture" resembles the fridge-sellers.

Another commenter left a note to the effect that it's a good thing these public schools are out there, or these children may never see responsible adults or be educated at all... which... miiiight be true. Then again, it may be possible that by having this SYSTEM, which is obviously populated with a great number of very caring people, is actually enabling parents like this to behave that way. I have to wonder if that isn't true because when my older children were younger, I was asked constantly if I'd go to work when my children went to school. Or what am I going to do all day when I am "free" while the children are in school. Umm... I dislike many things about public school, but one thing I *never* did was think that the school was a free babysitter, child-feeder and imparter of moral teachings. I see many who do, however.

I have to imagine that were this story NOT on a homeschooling blog... were it, say, in the New York Times, that people would be jumping all over it as an example of how we shouldn't judge people in poverty. Ev-errr. I mean... do you want extreme on the other side of the "should we ever homeschool/private school to avoid undesireable peers?" debate? Read this article and the comments. The comments! My head almost exploded.

If you don't want to be amazed and astounded by daring leaps of logic (no net!), let me sum it up for you: these parents should spend BIG money - just give it away to the public schools. And send their children. The schools are really great! Wellll... no, they're really awful because people like this don't send their children! No, it's all Obama's fault! (?) No. It's because people name their kids Finnegan and Nova. No. It's because New York City is weird.

Well, ok. That last one made sense.

27 December 2010

Vent Post...

Dear Vulturelike Armed Forces Representatives,

I can understand why you might want to get your dirty claws on Patrick and make him sign papers so that you can snatch him away from his parents. He is in excellent physical condition, can take orders well, and hasn't learnt how to cause trouble.

But Patrick is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD. He is a child. You cannot have him. Go to hell.

It's true that I usually treat him like an adult, but I'm going to make an exception in this case. He won't get your mail. You will not have access to him on MY telephone, so quit calling. I'd feel safer with a Sexxy Teacher Pedophile (as featured on Foxx News with "too pretty for jail" picture!) giving extra credit tutoring lessons in a bikini than have him be in regular contact with any sort of recruitment office. You've gotta be kidding.

And shame on the school for giving out his contact information. I can't imagine where else they would get it unless they are cross-referencing the census data they promise-swore never to touch...

Shame on you recruiting officers. You can't even wait until these CHILDREN are legal adults before you want to "interest" them in a career that could well involve their dying in some pointless war so you can fulfil some stupid freaking recruiting quotas??

You will not get my child!

Sincerely,

Patrick's Mom

PS. I hope that you can take my subtly worded hints and never contact my kid again. I might not be so nice next time. Thank youuuu.

26 December 2010

The Reason...



Once I've looked the pottery over and made sure there are no chips or other damage, I remove the STICKERS because I'm using these for everyday. I peel as much as I can off and soak the sticky parts in a baking soda/water paste. Removal is much easier, and no residue.
*
Yep. I'm cray-zee to use my pottery every day in a house full of children, but there you go. And see the luv-lee cups on my kitchen cupboard shelf? The children drink their milk (or soymilk) in them in the mornings.
*
Nobody quite got the riddle, but Chris came the closest! :)
*
Can you tell I'm a bit overly attached to the stuff? Three posts in a row, I'm going on about my new stuff. But Elf I think is the most taken with the pottery. He is counting the number of uses of each plate and the soap dispenser. I am trying to dissuade him from keeping track because we're up in the twenties and I'm sure he won't be here at all times to remember which person used the dispenser when, and I don't want to be saddled with keeping track. Seriously.
*
Meanwhile, D says he will never use it but prefers old plastic "Cool Whip" bowls. When they break, you can justify another purchase of treats or update your "collection" seasonally, I guess...

25 December 2010

Whyyy...

Am I putting baking soda on my new pottery? I'm enabling comment moderation for a little bit here to see if anyone can answer this riddle. :)

23 December 2010

Happy Christmas!




You wonder what Polish Pottery and martial arts have to do with one another until you realize that these are Christmas presents. Yep. G is not going to have anything but a sweatshirt to unwrap on Christmas (don't tell! It really is his only gift!) because he's getting Taekwondo lessons. In an extreme violation of my child's privacy, I have allowed his NAME to be boldly written on the blog in full. Yep. There it is in Korean on his uniform - have fun guessing. The instructor must STAND ON A CHAIR so that G can do his kicks properly... he is just that tall. My present is obviously the pottery. I think it goes well with the stuff in the middle I got at Goodwill... but not too matchy-matchy. Emperor looked at all the stuff from the company online and is sad that I did not get an apple baker. (Look at his blog! He's updated his pictures and clever sayings as well!) I had NO idea that he had apple-baking aspirations, or I would have thrown one into my online cart. He carefully researched how to bake the apples and everything. Dear readers, I hope you are having a lovely Christmas season and that next year brings you much happiness, joy and peace. :)

21 December 2010

A Disturbing Post - A Story in Pictures.


This is the potty that Elf and Emperor built. Note flush lever. Symmetry. Choice of blue for bowl contents.



Ummm... yeah. Elf and Emperor then add brown bricks.




Next: the plunger. We live in an old house, ok? What did you expect the next step to be? Flush it and forget it?

20 December 2010

Nothing is Wrong.

"I'm not disabled! There's nothing wrong with me! I hate when you say that, and make things up about me!"

Well, a certain teen doesn't agree with the diagnosis of a renowned children's hospital developmental team, and that's fine. Or the diagnoses (identical) given by several other professionals from other organizations. And the fact that the Regional Center actually got around to FUNDING said teen doesn't mean anything when Elf has been on the list for years with zero help.

And the unnamed teen doesn't care that the (also unnamed) semigovernmental department, that sends a worker out for eight hours a week in our home, seems to agree that he is disabled and needs help. (That's fun, having someone in your home all the time telling you how to parent. The alternative? We could lose all our children if things go wrong and someone gets hurt after a blowup. Yay.)

Oh! Oh! Or the ENTIRE STATE of Missouri. They have consented to fund this particular teen for the Sara Lopez waiver, which basically gives Medicaid services to *just* 200 minors in the state who don't quite qualify for Medicaid financially, but who have needs SO SEVERE that they're concerned the child would be institutionalized otherwise. In this time of cutbacks, please don't think they hand out services to people who don't meet income guidelines *just* because they look pretty like me, ok? :)

So yeah. I enjoy making all this stuff up about his being disabled. I must have that Munchausen by proxy syndrome thing because it's just sooo much fun going to all appointments. Look at how glamourous I am as I enter the center for another session where my parenting is questioned and micromanaged! While I bring all the other children and they get to hear this crap because I have no sitter! The clients are always innnteresting there. But I'm walking the carpet! Snap a photo! Striking a pose -

* Vogue, Vogue *

Ha ha! Ok, y'all just WISH you were me. I'm a star, I tellya. No wonder the teen thinks I'm making it all up! I get sooo much validation and luv from everyone I have to work with on his imaginary problems. It brings joy to my life and gives me purpose. I had nothing else to do. I also think working with the public school is sexxxy and IEPs are hott. Just so you know.

Though our case manager from the Regional Center tells me that all teens are "not disabled." They are all like that. It's disappointing, though, because I thought I had trained my children to accept themselves for who they are while working TOWARD being functional in certain areas. It makes me sad, for instance, to hear Elf pray that he would just be "normal."

And yet... I cannot say I want to take his valid feelings away from him. I look at his going to school next year and think, know what? He can't even cross the street. He can't be left alone in a Sunday School class. He can't follow simple directions in a crowd; it's just all over once he walks away from his siblings or Mom. I'm worried. Maybe he is praying for "normal" because he is worried, too.

So... do you tell your child he's disabled? I don't mean in a constant, belittling way. I mean... do they know what their diagnoses are? And does your kid believe it? Are you the bad guy for mentioning it? Leave a comment here and I'll read it before my next photoshoot.

18 December 2010

The New Obsession

Emperor is spending an inordinate amount of time playing on chesskid.com. He is very fond of the Blitz chess games that are offered online against other real live players. I suppose the computer matches you and away you go on a new game. It gives rankings as well. Emperor is about a 900, but he did reach about 980 before losing a bunch of times this afternoon. It goes up or down depending on your win/loss and against whom (what their ranking is). He is hoping to crack 1000 by the end of the year but I think that might be a bit ambitious and he may hover above/below 900 for a bit. Our chess league teacher says that generally, one's ranking is the same as the grade level with two zeroes at the end. So, if Emperor were in public school, he would be a third grader and average ranking would be 300. But, even first graders with a 1000 ranking would not be unheard of. Emperor has improved his game since beginning the league. He used to lose EVERY game, both in practice and tournament. Now he is winning most games in his age ranking. That was enough to bump him up to third place in the smaller child division of the league. Elf also got the third place for the upper elementary/middle school age rank. Elf says that actually, the little kids are harder to beat, and I think he might be right. The little ones are the super-serious players and many of them study notation and strategy. I don't know why that is, but it seems to have worked out that way. Well, wish Emperor the best when the league starts up again at the end of January. And if you're on chesskid.com and see A-Gust-of-Wind playing, challenge him to a game! :)

International Laws...

I know we were just chatting about homeschooling in other lands.  Sometimes I'll be in contact with homeschoolers from the UK, Australia and even strange places like Vermont.  You'd be surprised at all the different laws that exist in other places. 

It's surprising the things you find out just doodling around on the 'web.  Like the criteria for pedophilia.  See, I always thought it was "inappropriate obsession and/or *contact* with people who are just plain old too young to be obsessed about or um, *contacted*."  That was my working definition, anyway. 

I don't know what the criteria is, precisely, for Missouri (it probably doesn't include the little stars)... but that's sort of what I figure most reasonable people would think all the world over.  In PRACTICE, though, I can tell you that unfortunately the court system does somewhere between little and nothing to protect children around these parts.  Enter yourself a little plea bargain on a lesser charge and you get probation.  No lists, and the neighbours will never know.  "Worm," as the child's mother calls him, is not going to get any treatment, but betya he WILL be a lot more careful next time.  Sickening.

But maybe "the courts failing to protect people" is just the same all the world over.

Here's a little dandy from Australia.  Imagine being privileged enough to send your boy off to an exclusive boarding school.  Being hopeful that this will give your son the edge he needs to get into a good university and so on.  But later you discover the "housemother" provides literal sex ed lessons and in short, is a perv.  Eeew. 

And it's a "judge only" trial.  Wouldn't want the name of the school to get out or have this poor, poor bipolar person who couldn't POSSIBLY control her lust with little kids to be shamed.  Sorry.  Stuff like that is sure to help bipolar people be accepted as normal, everyday folks who just have a little regulation problem every now and again, eh?  I "get" that bipolar is hard to deal with.  I live with at least one person who is bipolar and I am NOT on any sort of "bipolar acceptance" blogrings, boyo.  But bipolar doesn't excuse pedophilia, shopping sprees, or... anything.  It might be a contributing factor in letting things get out of control, but it is not an excuse, and it doesn't mean people should be lenient with you.

Rich people do not always get justice.  I read about these children and was just positively sick.  They couldn't even go home and talk to Mum about what happened; they were trapped.  Yet the person who did this, who admits she did this, "could not technically be classed as a paedophile, as her sexual activity with children occurred over five months, not the six required for the diagnosis."

Something is realllly wrong with that.

17 December 2010

I Don't Care What the Scale Says...


I think my daughter has been losing quite a bit of weight.  She is looking almost waiflike compared to her former self.  If she were a bit pudgier and if she were a boy, she might have had a nice selection of stained-up and dirty-lookin' "Truck and Firefighter" hand-me-downs at this stage of the game.  Bummer for her she has to make do without, eh?

16 December 2010

Reporting, Please.

I want to hear more about this story than what is reported on the HSLDA website.  We all know about the Romeike family, the homeschoolers who sought asylum in our country due to persecution in Germany. So is it just ho-hum news because it's happening in New Zealand?  Should they have run to Texas instead?  Because... my bad.  If I spoke nothing but German and had to make my family's flight plans within three days (or whatever) based only on a little hearsay, it's possible I'd pick an "unsympathetic" country as well by accident.

Maybe it is just that the last name of Schöneich is realllly hard to spell.  I don't know how to do the accent thing over the O on my keyboard, so do you know what I did?  Copy and paste the text, bayybee.

Seriously.  Where are the stories about this family?  Where are the news cameras?  For that matter, I must be missing all the real news.  I'm soo tired of popping onto news sites and seeing most headlines read along the lines of, "How (Celebrity Name) Feels About Her Breasts" or "Wild Ferret Stuck on New Jersey Rooftop:  VIDEO."

Homeschooling news is just an example because it happens to be important to me personally.  Everyone has something they're interested in.  But I'm pretty sure most people are not typing "ferret" searches on the internet, or wake up NEEDING to read some recent shooter's second cousin's ramblings about what a nice guy the dude was, and allll that.  Maybe your thing is textiles from the 1840's or something.  I dunno.  Surely that is more interesting than the mental state of some guy who just killed a bunch of people, what the neighbours think, what the shooter ate for dinner and other glamourous details. 

Isn't there something important going on in the world of 1840's textiles that should bump the shooter guy's life history off the front page?  Or roofing materials.  Let's have a story of the evolving science of roofing and the materials that are best suited for rooves in various climates.  And do people in Holland really wear those wooden clogs, or is that just something that would attract the tourists?  Is shoe-throwing a problem there?  I have a lot of questions.

So, pweeeeze, pweeze no more ferret stories, stories about the Kanadian sisters and their "sexy look," and updates on Kirstie Alley's weight gain/ loss/ whatever.  Me is soooo tired of it that me's brain starting turning mushylike. Eeerghh... melting... melting... :)

14 December 2010

The Little Spartan

Elf is driving me nuts with this.  He is going to be a Spartan.  He is tough.  He would like to sleep on the floor like the Spartans do.  That will toughen him up.  Even though there are spiders in his room that like to hide when the shoe comes out.  Can he wear nothing but a little loincloth like the Spartan boys?  That would help him to learn endurance. 
*
But Elf, how about those daily beatings the Spartan kids got?  You don't really want to be a Spartan.  "Wellll, it would teach me obedience," he reasoned.  Umm... sorry, Elf.  Mom is very mean and will not allow you to get a good idea of what life in Sparta was REALLY like.  You will have to use your imagination. 
*
Though... I have an idea.  I will nibble on your ear and make vvvv-sounds and you show me how TOUGH you are by not giggling.  And Spartans are always so obedient.  Can I have another hug?  Mmm.  Ok.  You are a Spartan (sort of).  Though I am sparing my blog readers the graphic upchuck pic I have of him tasting Spartan "porridge."  You are welcome.

10 December 2010

More Chess News

Emperor now has another name. It's "A Gust of Wind." Yep. Some of the boys in the chess league were calling him that when they were discussing him... and it sorta fits. He does talk a great deal, and it does sound rather like his real name. (You DID know that "Emperor" is not his real name, right??)

After the chess league a couple weeks ago, I talked with Emperor about the nickname and why we realllly need not to be some raptor-thing squawking about during chess league, and we need to stop yapping during the games (occasional talking is fine, monologue not) and so on and so on. I don't want to tell him this, but the Hello Kitty shirts, red pants and plaid shirts already sorta make him stand out. Yes, he does wear them all at the same time. His father draws the line at allowing him out in the Hello Kitty jammie pants anymore, though.

But Emperor LIKES his nickname. That no one ever called him to his face. That Mom simply relayed to him so that he could... you know... behave a bit better. He wants to find out who nicknamed him, but no one will admit to it, or even admit that they have ever called him any such thing.

Oh, well. He's signed up as A-Gust-of-Wind on chesskid.com. Sometime if your children are on the site, you may find them playing against him. Elf is "Elf-of-the-Century." Well, he had to nickname himself. The boys are spending hours on chess, chess and more chess. They move about without really thinking too much about it and wonder why they get beaten. But Elf claims that he is going to make his living by playing chess. Note how the dreams of being a pastor are totally shot, which is probably just as well. I can't imagine the kid managing interpersonal conflicts and the drama that would come with running a church.

Not to mention, he's kinda naive and takes what people say at face value. Yesterday I told him that there really was a such thing as a parallel universe, and that you see inside them when you stand in front of a mirror and hold a mirror. Further, the quantum physicists of the migalpinsphere recently discovered that you can see JESUS, who is the center of all parallel universes, inside the very last mirror, waving and saying, "You found Me!" He ran off yelling, excited to go try it. And then he claimed he could ALMOST see Jesus at the very end. HE NEEDS A BIGGER MIRROR!

He's dangerous, left on his own, really. It didn't help that Patrick snuck up behind him and yelled, "You found me!" Dork. Worse still, he told the poor kid that Jesus doesn't really want to be his friend unless he gets a bribe. God likes blue beads the best.

"But he already has a bribe!" Elf said. "It's the Church!" Siigh. The Church. The Bribe of Christ.

Oh, good gracious, they're cute, but they're going to be teens before you know it! And despite my best training, they haven't purchased any clues about the world and how to live in it without getting taken advantage of and/or thought of as being very silly just yet.

08 December 2010

Justice Is Blind

But we're going to hire a PROFESSIONAL makeup artist on the taxpayer dime to cover up the swastika on an accused murderer's neck.  (Article here.) We wouldn't want the jury to get all biased and all. 

I suppose justice is blind, but people in court are not.  That's why the scraggly kid who (legally necessary word to follow parenthesis) "allegedly" threatened my son with death, repeatedly trespassed on others' property after being warned to stay away, and defaced the sanctuary area of a CHURCH got a nice little haircut before his appearance before the juvi judge.  He looked like a little mini-businessman, is what he did.

Did it help his case?  I don't know.  There's no way to know these things.   Then again, the taxpayer didn't foot the bill for the kid's professional haircut.  Why should they for the makeup artist?

But... the other side has a good point, too.  You want a conviction for murder to STICK and not be overturned by anyone else because jurors were prejudiced against the accused and etc. etc.  So... whatever.  Best interest of true justice being served and all that.  If I were the victim's family, I would loathe it but dangit, do what you have to do to get this guy gone for good if he's the murderer.

Now...

No hating, but... isn't it true that black defendants get thrown into the slammer and/or convicted at a way higher rate than whites for the same crime?  Isn't it?  Wouldn't a defendant LOGICALLY be able to ask for a total makeover before each trial day so that he can APPEAR to be white?  Get the blue contacts out?  All that?  It seems a bit distasteful to me, but that would be the next logical step, wouldn't it? People would probably be willing to dress up in a bit of makeup to avoid the electric chair or major jail time.  And if every black defendant pulled that, it would be a major expense to the state if they had to honour those requests.  Then again, would YOU want to take a chance that you are sending some guy to the electric chair because a jury might be subconsciously biased?  Sometimes I think about things like that and truly wonder.  How fair are we, really?

And would too much makeup on a defendant make the trial null and void because witnesses wouldn't recognize him?  Wouldn't it stand to reason that hiding a large tattoo like the swastika in the article is hiding a major identifying characteristic that witnesses would need to make a positive identification?

How "fair" do we really have to be to these defendants before it gets a little ridiculous??  Do we need to play theme music as everyone enters the courtroom like they do on People's Court?

My Last Words

"I never knew that 'rise' and 'sit' cannot have direct objects until I started homeschooling. Yay, and now I can diagram it, too! How did I get through college without knowing this? It's in my fifth grade textbook. :)"

That's right, folks, if I were to die tonight, and a newspaper bothered to report my "last words," that would be what I'd have to say to you all in parting.  Because now, major media outlets are using the last facebook postings as "last words."  This is some scary, creepy stuff! 

I know some of you-all would have "last words" about the movie you went to, what's for dinner, the Frontierville level you just received, and the fact that you are tired of ex-wife drama.  Soo maybe I shouldn't complain about my dopey grammar posting being my last words.  I went for a couple weeks without a status update, okaaayyy?  I had to write SOMETHING.

I think some folks go wayyy far the other direction.  They're figuring you might just go at any moment and/or that all thoughts emanating from your computer ought be Godly.  Rest assured, y'all who are like that are going to die with some obscure verse from Titus on your epitaph.

It just doesn't make any sense to me.  Do I need to prepare a "post this in the event of my death" post?  I've seen people typing "authorizations" that we should change their status to "hangin' with Jesus" after their deaths.  But they never give out their passwords, doggone it, or some jokester would change their next status to something truly entertaining.  :)

05 December 2010

Woodjie's Birthday

Woodjie turned four recently and got to eat Burger King for dinner. We spent over $70 on the food! He's been running about and being busy all day. He's helped his father make puppies happy on the computer. He opened up a "you ee full" package with Lightning McQueen and his buddies. Little Rose was a bit jealous of the attention and present- OPENING, but never had a fit about the presents themselves and the fact that she never got any. I guess they have learned that they must share everything, and they did. Quite nicely. Most of the time. Woodjie has had several new things to say just out of the blue such as "Careful!" and "See you later!" and "Wook. A diya- saur." I don't remember his learning what a dinosaur was or how to tell people to be careful. He'd been exposed to it about a zillion times and now finally - out of nowhere - strange words are starting to pop out of his little mouth. He doesn't get when we are finished with something fun. The answer to that is, "No. You don't do that!" and you'll get an angry pointing at.


03 December 2010

Feed Your Own Children

I really must be feeling controversial this week because guess what? I'm going to "go there." We should eliminate the free and reduced lunch program. There is no call for it to exist at all.

Now, you might be saying that food stamps aren't generous enough to feed children properly, and I might agree with you. You might also say that more people should be able to receive food stamps, and that the allowance each month ought be higher. I might agree with that, too. But that is a different argument than whether we ought be serving school lunches.

But I think within reasonable limits, families ought to be able to purchase food for themselves on this program. Not to be too stereotypical, but generally your German folks do eat differently than the folks in the black community. One of my relatives was placed in a majority-black nursing home and she really was unable to eat many of the strange foods presented to her each day. ("Greens" do not sound edible to me, either.) I know the nursing home did the best job they could on their budget, but my point remains. Different families have different tastes; some of them are personal, and some cultural.

I think families should be able to use their food stamp money to PACK a lunch for their own children. I think the food stamp amount and the qualifications for receiving this benefit are A DIFFERENT ISSUE ENTIRELY than the "school lunch" issue.

There should be no "school lunches" provided by tax dollars. Just either have food stamps and budget that meal in, or don't. I don't want families to feel forced to send their children to the local school so they can eat! For crying out loud. Schools are for learning. "Go to school or don't eat" shouldn't be the choices.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard the argument that "nice" families like mine will make sure our children eat, or if we were on food stamps, we'd use the money "correctly." But there are too many children whose parents would not, and so the school must feed them. The only two nutritious meals these precious children might get all day and blah blah blah etc.

I'm reallllly not for state interference in private lives but know what? If that's the case, if you teachers TRULY KNOW that these children are that abused at home that their parents don't stinkin' well FEED THEM, you'd better dang well pick up that phone and make a call to social services. Don't give me (or the other taxpayers!) a bunch of claptrap about working parents, limited budgets and what-have-you. Certainly you would call if I sent my children to school with no clothes, no matter how "poor" I am. Not feeding your child on a regular basis is child abuse, folks.

I submit to you that both Republicans and Democrats (and libertarians, communists, atheists, Presbyterians and other assorteds) care very much about children and what becomes of them. The nasty comments on both sides of the school lunch funding issue are a bit over the top.

Maybe I am naive, but I think parents can figure out how to pack a lunch. Get a bread bag or lunch box. Put in juice box, sandwich, small fruit or other snack. The end. Um, Elf could figure this out when he was SIX. Please don't tell me you think poor people are so stupid that they can't figure that out as well.

What we're really discussing is whether the government should decide what schoolchildren eat. They need QUALITY food, not cookies, right? There you go. So... by that logic, it's best to increase taxes on lower-middle-class people like me who are sending their children to school each day with a PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH so that the poor kids get the organically grown carrots and chicken on wheat bread.

That gets me mad.

Yes, I am notorious for sending PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES EVERY DAY for my children who attend school. And the kids who are teasing my children about this food "choice?" Are on "free" breakfasts that cost $2.00 and "free" lunches that cost $2.50 each day, per child. I can't afford this food for my own children, but I'm paying for theirs.

Mad, I tell you.

01 December 2010

A Day at Home

It's Sunday afternoon and you and the younger children are watching TV after church and waiting for lunch. Your wife, Jill, is upstairs fixing tacos with your older son, Teddy. Today, there will be fresh tomatoes from the garden with the taco fixings. It's going to be great.

Teddy appears in the doorway with a flustered look. "Mom's fallen down!" he tells you. Quickly, you leave the children in his care and investigate. Jill is slumped over, half awake. You call 911. The paramedics are on their way. Jill drifts in and out of consciousness as you wait for the ambulance. It seems like forever, but when they arrive, you are quickly relegated to spectator status.

What are they doing? Jill's shirt is off and they are pushing on her chest. Her heart. Please let her live, God. But you know what the lead paramedic is going to say to you after they stop working, cover Jill respectfully, and begin packing their gear.

My God. It just doesn't seem real, God.

You're not really sure what is happening. The EMTs leave the room and you are confused as to what must happen next, who you must talk to, what to say to the children, whether any of this is even really happening.

It looks like another medical team has walked into the kitchen. One of the workers is carrying a clipboard and asking about your wife's medical history. Shocked, you answer all the questions and she seems to be coordinating your answers on some electronic device. You are just going through the motions, just trying to function in the moment.

Kidneys.

What was that about kidneys? You want to take Jill out of the kitchen and take her kidneys? Organ donation? Jill was making tacos. Then she fell down and organ donation. You need me to sign a paper because you need the paper signed. Not understanding what, must live through this minute and what will I tell Teddy and I hear the smaller children crying. There is really no time, please sign and save someone's life.

They are hungry and I am not sure about lunch. Kidneys and paper and not sure why but would I sign this paper you need signed organ donation confused. Must get through. Get through. Sign paper. Get through.

**

Does the above story sound like "informed consent" to you? It's organ stealing. And it's legal. As one commenter so aptly put it, "Sick people have NO claim whatsoever to anyone else's organs. Period. Ever."

It's a good thing for these vultures that they're pulling this crap in Manhattan, because around here? They would encounter some um, physical expression of anger at the hands of shocked and incapacitated family members. Though it seems like that's what it's going to take before people start learning that there are limits there somewhere and back the frog up. I mean, this was funded by our GOVERNMENT!!

Don't you dare try it at my house. No telling what might happen, and I know you don't mean to be an organ donor just yet.

Read the article. Tell me what you would say to the birds circling around your dead wife.

Bringing Garbage Home

Some people up the street were throwing this table away. It was in pretty bad shape and one of the legs was off. I've glued the leg back...