A Trip.

Emperor and I are leaving. Friendly contest time. Prize is probably a postcard or something small I get there, and you can send me your address later if you "win." Not sure what's available in the hotel shop so I don't want to promise anything specific.

So where are we going? That's the contest. You tell me. Annnnd you have to be exact. Let's see if you can do it. Closest wins. I get to decide which entry is closest. Ready?? Here are some hints:

sunflower state

not closed

OK!!! I've practically TOLD YOU where we're going, so you have to be exact in your comments. Feel free to google away and good luck!

PS. In the event of more than one correct guess, names will be written on scraps of paper and tossed into a room where Woodjie is playing. The one he picks up first is the *winner!*

Happy Fourth of July!

Happy Fourth of July! I've been a little addicted lately to playing puzzles on JigZone and I hope you enjoy this one... even though it doesn't have Alaska and Hawaii. Just pretend that Alaska is floating underneath California and Hawaii is located in a box in the Gulf of Mexico. I wonder how many children that sort of thing messes up, seriously. :)

Super Mario Cupcakes!

G is now 16 years old, and the proud owner of Pokemon Black. We made cupcakes for the occasion using Elf's very own new muffin tin. He bought it at the homeschooling convention last weekend. We tried this idea for Super Mario mushrooms, but it IS pretty hard to decorate cupcakes with just one working arm. G had plenty of pizza on his special day, and will have his cast removed in a week and a half.

Lead Bank State Championship

We had a LONG day playing chess at the Lead Bank State Championship at the KCI Expo Center. We got to see some old friends from a previous chess league and socialize during the times between games. This is J and B, who later tied for first place in the K-2 Division. Emperor was the top player in the third grade division (he would have been in third grade were he in public school). And The Happy Elf Homeschool placed as the *first* K-6 division school. I hadn't even realized we were playing as a school as well as individually. Elf and Emperor have greatly improved their game since last year. For Emperor especially, this is a grand victory. Remember his last tournament? This was his year to shine. :)

The Reason...

Once I've looked the pottery over and made sure there are no chips or other damage, I remove the STICKERS because I'm using these for everyday. I peel as much as I can off and soak the sticky parts in a baking soda/water paste. Removal is much easier, and no residue.

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Yep. I'm cray-zee to use my pottery every day in a house full of children, but there you go. And see the luv-lee cups on my kitchen cupboard shelf? The children drink their milk (or soymilk) in them in the mornings.

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Nobody quite got the riddle, but Chris came the closest! :)

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Can you tell I'm a bit overly attached to the stuff? Three posts in a row, I'm going on about my new stuff. But Elf I think is the most taken with the pottery. He is counting the number of uses of each plate and the soap dispenser. I am trying to dissuade him from keeping track because we're up in the twenties and I'm sure he won't be here at all times to remember which person used the dispenser when, and I don't want to be saddled with keeping track. Seriously.

*

Meanwhile, D says he will never use it but prefers old plastic "Cool Whip" bowls. When they break, you can justify another purchase of treats or update your "collection" seasonally, I guess...

Chess League!

Who knew it was pretty much an all-boy thing? I didn't.

Elf and Emperor have been looking forward to this for months! They play at least one game a day and sometimes do puzzles online. So, I would never classify them as *serious* players, but the chessboard isn't gathering dust, either.

We're meeting up with some serious players. Is it just me, or are the suuuuper-serious players all homeschoolers? My goodness. We're playing with a kid who was kindergarten state champion and his older brother. They don't just play chess, they understand notation and have memorized chess scenarios by name. Wow, I'm a slacker homeschool mom. But they're extremely nice, polite folks and you just can't help but like them even if they do beat you every time.

We're a bit more evenly matched with the public school kids who are there just because they want to be. They're not serious players, but are going for the fun of the game.

One of them in particular seems to be very friendly with Elf. He looks - I swear - EXACTLY like Frodo in Lord of the Rings movies. Well, if he were a bit younger and rounder, anyway. I keep looking at him sideways, tempted to call, "Frodo!" and see if he answers. Really. If they ever do casting for "little Frodo," it would be a shame if he didn't audition. "Frodo" is a rather talkative and friendly fella and he and Elf have fallen into the habit of playing games together during "free" play time (as opposed to tournament game time).

They have innnteresting conversations. Here's one that happened after Frodo tried moving his rook diagonally last game:

"Um, you can't do that," Elf corrected him. "That's a rook."

"Yeah, I know," Frodo told him. "But did you know that the queen is really just a rook?"

"No, it isn't. It's a completely different piece!" Elf is pointing at the queen as if that would settle it.

Frodo picked up the queen and held it next to the rook. "No. The queen is just what the rook looks like after she gets plastic surgery and gets some boo-tayyy."

"Well, the rook can only move *this* way, so you'll have to pick another move." I think the boo-tayyy comment went right over his head. Just as well.

And another conversation:

"Where do you go to school at?" Frodo wanted to know.

"I do not go to school," Elf said crisply. "I am home EDUCATED."

"Oh," Frodo's brow rumpled. "Then you can never have a school team. You should totally go to (Junior High Name) with me. The KNIGHTS. We kick ass in chess club. KNIGHTS RULE!" Whereupon he tugs on his nearby friends. They get the "hint" and give him a high five.

Poor Emperor, though. He's not making friends there very easily at all. He is losing EVERY game. I know some of the younger players (he gets matched with them because he would be in third grade in ps) are the more serious, committed players... but much of his trouble comes from a lack of seriousness about the game. He jumps and moves at the same time. He isn't thinking strategically or stopping to consider that the other person ALSO has a strategy to win. I think the crowning blow was when he got beaten by the chess league teacher's five-year-old daughter. Who is too young for kindergarten this year.

Awww. Poor fella. But see, she is concentrating on the board. She goes to tournaments. She does workbooks on chess moves. I told him it's ok... he is learning and he's there to have a great time at the same time. I think this is a good experience for him on the whole, though, even if it is hard for him. He probably needs a few more weeks to get the hang of it.

But Elf? Surprisingly, he has a little peer group there. I think he doesn't understand about half of what they're talking about, though, but they seem friendly enough.

Trivia Question Answer!

"The Worm of the Still," referring to the coil on a still.  I had to read the passage over several times before I "got" it myself, because I had read it as a literal reptile. 

Maybe this one was too hard.  Keep in mind that McGuffey Readers were public school textbooks, so I suppose this would qualify as an olde-fashioned "health" class warning of the dangers of drink.  Ah, well.  It seems a weeee mite overexaggerated, but least they didn't try to put a condom on a banana. :)

The Venomous Worm.

From McGuffey's Fifth Eclectic Reader.  Guess the name given to this animal by the author.  I'll publish the results Thursday morning.  This one's harder.  Let's see if anyone comes close!

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Who has not heard of the rattlesnake or copperhead?  An unexpected sight of either of these reptiles will make even the lords of creation recoil; but there is a species of worm, found in various parts of this country, which conveys a poison of a nature so deadly that, compared with it, even the venom of the rattlesnake is harmless.  To guard our readers against this foe of human kind is the object of this lesson.

This worm varies much in size.  It is frequently an inch in diameter, but, as it is rarely seen except when coiled, its length can hardly be conjectured.  It is of a dull lead color, and generally lives near a spring or small stream of water, and bites the unfortunate people who are in the habit of going there to drink.  The brute creation it never molests.  They avoid it with the same instinct that teaches the animals of India to shun the deadly cobra.

Several of these reptiles have long infested our settlements, to the misery and destruction of many of our fellow-citizens.  I have, therefore, had frequent opportunities of being the melancholy spectator of the effects produced by the subtile poison which this worm infuses.

The symptoms of its bite are terrible.  The eyes of the patient become red and fiery, his tongue swells to an immoderate size, and obstructs his utterance; and delirium of the most horrid character quckly follows.  Sometimes, in his madness, he attempts the destruction of his nearest friends.

If the sufferer has a family, his weeping wife and helpless infants are not unfrequently the objects of his frantic fury.  In a word, he exhibits, to the life, all the detestable passions that rankle in the bosom of a savage; and such is the spell in which his senses are locked, that no sooner has the unhappy patient recovered from the paroxysm of insanity occasioned by the bite, than he seeks out the destroyer for the sole purpose of being bitten again.

I have seen a good old father, his locks as white as snow, his step slow and trembling, beg in vain of his only son to quit the lurking place of the worm.  My heart bled when he turned away; for I knew the fond hope that his son would be the "staff of his declining years," had supported him through many a sorrow.

Youths of America, would you know the name of this reptile?

YoVille Math.

Elf and Emperor helped me figure out what the best use of my "working" time on YoVille would entail. We got the list of the things my character can "bake" in the Sweets Factory and figured out the profit per hour of baking time. To complicate matters, the boys had to remember to add in the mandatory $10 oven cleaning fee between each batch. It was eye-opening for me. I had no clue that the longer recipes (three days for a "yellow cake") average out to something like 50 cents an hour of oven time. The chocolate chip cookies and coffee cake average out to $2 an hour. The problem being, you MUST check those cookies at exactly four or six hours, or they will "burn" and not be very profitable. We talked a little bit about how a good businessman would figure out a good estimate of the number of hours he thinks a job will take (multiplied by labour cost per hour), pad that number just a little bit just in case and add it to the cost of the materials. I don't think I'm going to rush into doing the "oven" thing every four hours, but it's good to know anyway that while it's *convenient* for you to leave the yellow cake in the oven for three days while you go have a life, it isn't economically advisable for your avatar. And my avatar needs a new couch. :P

Playing Civilization III

Emperor of course wants to be the Romans. But the Carthaginians have WAR ELEPHANTS and they are cool, too.

Elf thinks that wars are terrible, awful things and wants to be Sweden. This way he can be neutral and little and not fight. Yeah, that would fit his personality. Then also during the war, he will get "lotta money."

When did he learn this?

But Emperor tells him while they are setting up the hotseat game that Civ III has no Sweden. "No computer, then," he says. "I'm not fighting today."

When I play, I am always the Americans. This way I get a scout that can get all the goody huts/ free technologies faster than everyone else. I say this because I'm careful NOT to select computer opponents who would also have scouts. I play on the easiest level. I am very peaceful until I have put settlers and cities EVERYWHERE and have nowhere left to expand. I build about a million knights and station them near my border, but out of sight.

Then I contact my enemy and suddenly, after a long peaceful coexistence, demand ALL his cities, technologies and gold. When he refuses (which you know he will), I will declare war. I will conquer every last city except one. On a desert square. Then I will declare peace with my enemy and ask for right of passage. On the easy level, the computer foe will let me do this. I surround the city with troops. The other side is too devastated to ever develop the airplane. Then I am free to have a democracy, where people give me extra money for NOT having troops on our land. It's all on theirs!

"The people love you!" the computer tells me. I build a simulated castle. I get a Golden Age. I hear cheers every turn. Mmmm.

NO Fighting Girls.

We should teach our young men that they are never, never to fight a girl. Never.

It doesn't matter if your son is on a wrestling team and wants to play. It doesn't matter if he wants to win at the state meet. EVERY boy should decline to wrestle the girl who has signed up to play. She'll just win the entire state championship by default. It would be the right thing to do because we never, never fight girls. Never.

The girl might get hurt, or worse yet, Sonny-boy might enjoy copping a feel while the young girl in question slams your kid to the mat and pins him, hard.

Well, I guess some people are into that.

But I would disagree with the entire premise of this article, which I think I outlined pretty fairly above. Ok, I was a little snarky about it, but the facts are all there... go see.

I need to get this straight with you right now: I don't think it's proper for young ladies to be wrestling. Or in the military. Or on the police force. Or a lot of things. But if you're one of those equal-rightsers and you want that job or you want to compete in that sport... well, good luck to you. Just don't be surprised if your butt is kicked on that mat. And don't pull that "I'm nursing an infant and can't go into combat" stuff if you're in the military. Not fair to the other guys. No fair asking for special leniency that a man wouldn't get if you signed up for the job. It bothers me that the first feminists had to give up SO MUCH just to get the job you-all whine about that doesn't fit in well with your motherhood and Joey's basketball practice.

But it's your life. I mean, if someone asked me to vote about it, I'll vote how I feel. But it's your life. I'm sure not going to complain if you're the female police officer who saves me from being beaten to death. I'm going to say you deserve a medal just the same as a man if he did the same thing. And I'm not so stubborn about this issue that I'll decline medical treatment from a female firefighter after that burning building rescue. I just have an idea in my head about how things ought to be for me and my family, and am tolerant of other lifestyles (look at me! I'm tolerant! LOL).

G had a young lady on his wrestling team. Her choice of idiomatic expressions were quite interesting... they really painted, um, dramatic word pictures. She was quite an unforgettable character. G is in her weight class and I had no fear that he would whip her butt at the sport. I mean, she signed up for it and so did he, so whatever happened, happened. Actually what wound up happening was that G and the other guys usually got their rear ends smacked to the mat by her. She was all equal opportunity about winning against every single boy.

I suppose there is no shame in getting beaten by a girl if all the other guys are doing it. :]

Pinata!

We made a pinata out of a handled paper bag and staples. The bag was filled with candy and stuffed with paper. We had a lot of fun! Would you like to play a pinata game online, too?

I WIN!!!

Yup, I walloped a small Elf at Battleship. But look at how *very close* I came to losing. Yes, one of the boats is missing, so we just each play without it. I was trying to show this to D and he was busy and told me just to blog about it so he can look at it later. Sigh...

G's Wrestling Photo.

OK, so it's a picture OF a picture, and the bottom half is cut off because it has "SCHOOL NAME" emblazoned on the left leg. And the white sparkly stuff is my flash going off. But leave a comment and tell G he's lookin' good! He just joined the team and is 5 ft 10 and a whopping 130 pounds.

New Addiction.

Have you tried online puzzles? I went to this site and you can adjust the puzzles from very easy to impossible. What I like about them is that they don't force-fit. I'm one of those people who will bend puzzle pieces all kinds of ways until they fit. If I think they fit. :]

It's Too EASY.

I have taught Elf and Emperor to play Clue. Naturally, I'll act all suspicious of "Colonel Mustard" when I have his card right in my hand. Elf will about BUST because he KNOWS I have Colonel Mustard there and can't tell. I can make some offhand remark about how, you know, it's really probably that Professor Plum character we need to look out for. Because Elf is making his way to the ROOM where the murder happened. And we both know it.

Elf is mad when Emperor jumps to "suspect" Professor Plum in the next turn... pulling Elf's character all the way across the board away from the ROOM in question. I laugh gleefully. Next turn I 'suggest' that Colonel Mustard is the bad guy in the dining room, and wouldn't you know Emperor shouts his ACCUSATION against the Colonel during the next turn?

Bwa ha haaa. He opened the envelope in the next room. You could tell each card was a tragedy. NO!!! he'd yell. Then silence.

NO!!!

NO!!!

"But I got most of them right!" he smirks as he enters the kitchen again. This leads Elf to make a faulty accusation in the next turn. Nope, he didn't bother to "suspect" first, either.

This is too easy.

Elf Wins!

Apparently, since Dad got his hand pictured on the blog after he won against Mom at Parcheesi, Elf is entitled to a photograph and several reader comments as well. His pieces are, of course, the green ones. Elves like green, especially if they're little woodland elves who work in the Keebler factory.

D Wins, Finally!!

Literally, we could play the Parcheesi game for years and D would always lose every time, just by a little bit. When he won yesterday, he insisted on having this photograph taken for my blog so that all my readers will see real, substantiated photographic evidence that he won. (once, anyway...) Do you see how close the game was?

The Newest, Greatest Game

Elf and Emperor are studying the French Revolution in Social Studies. Now, of course, the Sydney Funnel-web spider attack game is just old news. The newest, greatest game is to jump out and shout, "Le Guillotine!!" and chase the other boy while shouting, "CHOP chopchop chopchopchop!"

I hope no one asks about the little "chop" marks on poor baby J at church tonight. I would hate to have to explain that the marks on ANY of my younger children were actually caused by, "Le Guillotine!"

I think all nouns in our house currently have a "le" attached to them. Le pencil. Le test. Le calculator and le math. Pepe Le Pew must approve.

Le Au Revoir!

Patrick's Precious

He wons it. No nasty hobbits-es are stealing it. Is a prize for first in a chess tournament today, it is. It's his precioussss...