31 October 2010

All About Emperor

We love Emperor, but he can be pretty annoying to those who aren't used to him. And to some people who are. He doesn't realize that he is actually *shouting* movie lines over and over, or that people don't appreciate his silly banter and constant talking. He needs to learn make eye contact at least occasionally so that others interacting with him can realize that he is, in fact, speaking to them.

And we're ok with his obsession with Hello Kitty and Pokemon. We just want him to be ok with the fact that not everyone has the same obsessions, nor do they want to hear lines from Mary Poppins about good banking practices or the Hobbit riddles repeated ad nauseam. He's a smart enough boy that he should learn to be a bit more "bilingual" in our neurotypical world. But because he is homeschooled and three of his brothers are on the autism spectrum, it's difficult for his parents to present an adequate number of positive peer models or to consistently demonstrate proper social interaction.

On paper, Emperor is a classic autistic, but he can speak well, read and write, and will be beginning pre-algebra next month. But he needs some way to learn rules for everyday living. He will do things like go through doors that read "DO NOT ENTER" because, he reasons, he is exiting and the sign does not apply to him.

And for crying out loud, it is not the "Core of Babylon" when I give him the center of an apple.

He misapplies idiomatic expressions like this all the time.  Ants in the pants.  Fly on the wall.

I explain myself to him about 900 times a day (yay, another idiom... Emperor would actually probably have a *real* number in mind), but there are just some things he doesn't quite "get" yet. Doggone it, it can be embarrassing.

I'm asking for a local social skills class scholarship, so I submitted MOST of the above as one long rambling paragraph about stuff he needs to work on.  It's a longshot I had to take because really, I think this class would help him quite a bit... but they like to focus on the Aspie guys, not people diagnosed with straight-out autism like Emperor.  Meh.  Same kid no matter which label you slap on him.  I'm slapping "creatively literal" on him and declaring that he's the cutest Emperor ever. :)




29 October 2010

Mopsy 1993 - 2010

I couldn't stand it any more.  I picked her off the floor, cut off a good portion of her hind fur (matted with poo, litter, pee, etc.) and bathed her.  Oh, it was so hard.  She couldn't lift her head well and tried to protest and meow through the process... but it didn't sound like a cat.  It wasn't any sort of good, strong cry. 

She couldn't even sit up in the tub or do anything but move her front paws a little in an attempt to get away.  I rinsed her, wrapped her in a towel, dried her up and brought her to the kitchen.  Sat her on a towel and tried to give her water.

Later I figured out that she kept sticking her head in the water to drink, but was unable (for whatever reason) to actually drink.  I was afraid she would drown, really.  She kept twitching and sometimes crying. I scooted the water away and figured I would try again later.  She would go to the vet in the afternoon as I couldn't possibly bring the littles (esp. Woodjie) to a place like that.  We love Woodjie, but things like this... we can't do them like other families.

It was hard, hard stuff, knowing how bad things were for our cat.  But I'm so glad that I did the uncomfortable (for both of us!) thing and bathed her.  Brought her downstairs even though she didn't want to move at all.  She was able to rest under the kitchen table and I had Elf and Emperor occasionally give a brief visit and pat. 

Lunchtime... she stayed under the table.  I swept around her after lunch and Girlie decided that she was a cat all afternoon.  Meoww.

By the time Patrick and G came home from school, she was very, very still.  I let G go to the park without a talk, but Patrick I asked to come into the kitchen before he left, would he?

He decided not to catch up with G at the park.  He laid down on the floor with his glasses off, slowly petting.  Petting.  When would we take her to the vet?  After G's ABA therapist came by.  Soon.  Patrick seemed annoyed and worried that I hadn't done this before.

Truth to tell, I didn't want to traumatize her by bringing her.  I wanted to wait until Patrick had some time and D was home to watch the other children.  Then we could wrap her up and Patrick could HOLD her on the way out.  It isn't as though she's going anywhere and running away that we need the carrier.  I knew she didn't have much time, but I was hoping for some pain medicine.  (No, even though this was hard, I couldn't see myself putting down the cat.)

Patrick had to have been lying with the cat there a good hour and a half.  Silently.  Petting.  This was his companion since he was three years old.  Mopsy used to chase things, play dressup, cars, share a bed with Patrick and just all around be his buddy.  Now she lay soo still except for a small twitch in the front paws occasionally. 

Well, our therapist was there for "observation" (he'll help us with a plan to help G do well at home, so he's short-term here) and we were to do whatever it is we would normally do.  So I told Patrick to get himself together so that we could go and I started rounding up my cell phone and stuff.

"She's not going anywhere," D called to me from under the kitchen table.

G, Patrick, D and I petted the kitty and some of us cried.  It only took about five minutes before we slowly realized that her heart and breathing slowed, slowed and finally stopped.  It isn't like in the movies.  No last gasp.  Just very slow fading.

D cradled our cat and we each said goodbye to her.  I brought Elf and Emperor upstairs to give pets goodbye.  She was then wrapped in a towel and placed in a shoebox.  (Today D brought her to get cremated; he kept hitting pipes in the backyard with the shovel and we don't want to just do the drop the cat off at the vet thing.)

Elf and Emperor and I prayed and thanked God for our cat and her beautiful life.  I don't think the therapist got a usual "day in the life" observation he came for, but I thought I heard him snuffling in the other room...

Elf declared that he wanted to be alone and mourn for his loss.  He ran upstairs and wailed and wailed.  The therapist decided it was time to leave.

We all miss our Mopsy.  She was a good cat.

Trivia Answer: The Camelopard!

The camelopard is actually one of those animals every zoo has to acquire, though like Deb, I was a bit disturbed by the outdoorsman/huntsman's attitude toward the animal myself.  More than that, it bothered me that everyone seemed to think that this naturalist was somehow advancing human understanding when it was quite obvious that plenty of other human beings had seen this animal before and even possessed its SKIN.  This was totally ignored in the writing.  I like McGuffey Readers very much as they are short little stories and some of them are very moving.  But this one warrants a "talk" with the homeschoolers, eh?

Read more in the comments section about this amazing animal!

28 October 2010

Comment Moderation Enabled!

Trolls stink.  But that's not why. 

I was reading a little story in the McGuffey Fourth Eclectic Reader.  It described a fantastic mythical animal from Africa and the efforts made in ascertaining whether any actually existed.  Let's see if YOU can figure out what it is if I leave a few strategic blanks!  Please comment and take a guess.  Interested to see what you think. 

The (Animal Name)

The (animal name) is a native of Africa.  It is of singular shape and size, and bears some resemblance both to the camel and the deer.  The mouth is small; the eyes are full and brilliant; the tongue is rough, very long, and ending in a point.  The neck is long and slender, and, from the shoulder to the top of the head, it measures between seven and eight feet; from the ground to the top of the shoulder, it is commonly ten or eleven feet; so that the height of a full-grown (animal name) is seventeen or eighteen feet.

The hair is of a deep brown color in the male, and of a light or yellowish brown in the female.  The skin is beautifully diversified with white spots.  They have short, blunt horns, and hoofs like those of the ox.  In their wild state, they feed on the leaves of a gum-bearing tree peculiar to warm climates.

The (animal name), like the horse and other hoofed animals, defends itself by kicking; and its hinder limbs are so light, and its blows so rapid, that the eye can not follow them.  They are sufficient for its defense against the lion.  It never employs its horns in resisting the attack of an enemy.  Its disposition is gentle, and it flees to its native forest upon the least alarm.

Le Vaillant (the celebrated French traveler and naturalist) was the first who gave us any exact account of the form and habits of the (animal name).  While he was traveling in South Africa, he happened one day to discover a hut covered with the skin of one of those animals; and learned to his surprise that he was now in a part of the country where the creature was found.  He could not rest contented until he had seen the animal alive, and had secured a specimen.

Having on several days obtained sight of some of them, he, with his attendants, on horseback and accompanied with dogs, gave chase; but they baffled all pursuit.  After a chase of a whole day, which effected nothing but the fatigue of the party, he began to despair of success.

"The next day," says he, "by sunrise, I was in pursuit of game, in the hope of obtaining some provisions for my men.  After several hours' fatigue, we saw, at the turn of a hill, seven (animal name)s, which my pack of dogs instantly pursued.  Six of them went off together; but the seventh, cut off by my dogs, took another way.

"I followed the single one at full speed... when I perceived her surrounded by the dogs, and endeavoring to drive them away by heavy kicks.  In a moment I was on my feet, and a shot from my carbine brought her to earth.  I was delighted with my victory, which enabled me to add to the riches of natural history.  I was now able, also, to destroy the romance which attached to this animal, and to establish the truth of its existence."

27 October 2010

More Meow Talk


I keep moving her, but she keeps putting
her head back, so I'll work around it.
 The cat is now not moving one of her legs very well at all.  She's moving sorta like an old lady who has no idea she needs a walker or perhaps a very awful stuntman.  She is urinating all over the place constantly.  D took a look at her at my urging and just came out with a sullen look. 

"She's dying," he told me.  Nuh-uh.  She was doing better.  Sure, she hasn't eaten more than a bite in two days and doesn't walk more than a step from the litter to the water dish, but she's no longer rolling in her own poo.  She's sitting on a towel.  Sigh.  The vet made it pretty clear last visit (only a few weeks ago!) that she's a very old cat, but she may need some specialized ($$$) tests for thisnthat if she starts to have a change in her bladder habits.  Well, I thought it was the flu (it wasn't just bladder at first, and was sudden with vomiting, poo-ing, glassy eyes and lethargy) and she'd either die or get over it, it was so awful and sudden. 

Then she was twitching a bit last night.  But today she is fine except for her leg.  And she is not looking at people but keeps putting her head sideways into the cat dish.  I can't make it out... may need to consider taking her in, but I'm afraid to.  The doctor would ask for expensive tests and I would say YES in a minute, just fix her.  D already said NO... we need to let her go if it's time.  I'm tempted to tell him he has to be the bad guy who says no to the tests, then... but we will see.  I wish things could be more clear and that the cat would purr or look over again.  She seems to be ignoring people now.  It's just so hard to see.

I keep walking into the bathroom expecting her to be fully lively and finished with cleaning herself up... or very still on the floor.  She is neither.  I hardly even know how to pray for the cat.  Ever feel that way about situations sometimes?  You hardly know what to wish.  You know that God is all-powerful, but you don't want a half-baked miracle.  You want it done right the first time, but you feel sorta pushy asking for it in just that way.  I think finally maybe I will just ask for a little more time, and ask for the time to be good and comfortable.  That's it.

Well... here's hoping.  Thanks if you got through this whole post.

More India Stuff!

 More stuff we're learning through the Passport to India series presented by Sonlight.  The children are attempting to imitate Rangoli patterns with some flour in the driveway.  (Click this link and scroll down to the Rangoli section to see more on this Indian pattern.) I knew it would be a LOT harder than it looks, but now the children know this as well.



I don't think this qualifies as Rangoli stuff.  It looks suspiciously like a car or an upside-down happy face. 


26 October 2010

Things Woodjie Says

OffFFF! Okie-non ee-vee! Okie-non! I'm having trouble appreciating Pride and Prejudice and am requesting that you switch this garbage off immediately for something more highbrow. My favourite character is Charizard, but I suppose I can make do with Jigglypuff if I must. My sister insists upon acting out Jigglypuff's singing and face-doodling every time. I wish she would quit touching me with her stupid "marker."

Us? Waaar yuu? I am making discreet inquiries as to the location of my bus. You must "look everywhere" for my bus and wonder with me where it could be.

Ee ent. The movie or show is finished.

Eye surn. Gimme that. It's MY turn.

Waah-waah. My very, very fake cry. I am having trouble with a transition or want a cuddle, so I'm going to pretend to be the baby. You must pick me up and make a fuss over me. It doesn't matter that I'm nearly four.

and finally...

Mamma. I love you, Mamma. Can I have some pudding with my lunch? Extra cashews? If I ask Mamma for something and have a sweet face, I'm probably going to get it. I'm soo cute.

25 October 2010

Our Cat, Mopsy.

You know it's not a good thing when the cat can barely raise her head, can't control her bladder AT ALL, and sleeps in the litter box for a couple of days.  She just got out and drank some water.  She's over 17 years old, so I'm not fooling myself that she's a spring kitten... but things are not looking quite so dire right now.  Getting out and drinking something means she's going to stay with us for a little bit,  I should imagine.

All that in-between sick but not well but not so close to the end is very difficult for the children.  I had prepared them for the worst.  Now the kitty is raising her head, but still lying in her own filth in the litter box.  Our cat would NEVER have done that before.  She's just so exhausted, but seems to enjoy having an occasional visitor to the litter box.

I'm hoping whatever happens, that she doesn't remain sick for long.  I know there are many bad things that need prayer, but can you pray that our cat either recovers soon, or peacefully goes to the place that good cats go after they pass away?  Thanks.

Teacher Bullying

Perhaps you're looking at the title and wondering whether this would be a post about teachers bullying children or the other way 'round.  But it's about both!

I came across an interesting web article written about the problem of teacher bullying.  From other places on the web, I gleaned that about 40 percent of elementary teachers admit to bullying on anonymous surveys.  I'm not sure I buy this.  (And this is not to blame teachers only.  Please read on.)  When we discuss "bullying" and "abuse," we usually outline it as something that ought never happen and don't discuss the more subtle, "acceptable" bullying and abuse that happens every day.  The slight look.  The following the letter of the law when it's known that the transgressor simply made a mistake. The favouritism we express for one person over another and the positive FEELINGS we have for one child are going to be felt by another.  The other, less likeable child, is going to feel slighted no matter how well we think we're hiding those feelings.  Maybe often we don't mean for smaller things like this to set up a bullying climate, but it can. 

But clearly, when we have an easily-identifiable select group of teachers who are "the bullies" according to a good number of students... well... chances are that the teachers really are bullying in the classic sense of the word.  I would not hesitate to add that they are likely unaware of it.  The paper in question at no time discussed the more obvious bullying techniques of spanking, closet-locking and tying children up by teachers or staff, so I'm given to understand it's just the "look" and the mean or snide remark that can so devastate children that we're talking of here.

"In many schools – perhaps most schools – at least one or more teachers can be identified as abusive toward students. Students will be in substantial agreement about which teachers are high rate offenders. The same degree of agreement may hold true for the colleagues of these offenders. They too appear to know which colleagues are abusive. The public nature of bullying patterns increases the likelihood of consensus on those who are most extreme in their behaviors. Simply stated, the faculty and students within the institution often are in private agreement about who the few culprits are, and express deep frustration at feeling powerless to stop the problematic behavior.


"Those who bully students are not likely to be new teachers. Teachers who bully tend to be established and secure in their positions (taught five or more years). The reasons for this are not yet clear."

If I may hazard a guess, burnout is only one possible consideration.  Another is that older teachers may have less training in how to deal with the disabled children who ARE being mainstreamed through school.  Certainly the teacher who was unable to handle my son was three years from retirement.  There were many students who absolutely loved her.  And she was a good teacher... of neurotypical students without "discipline" or behaviour issues.  If you read the article I linked, you'll see that often there are students who are the "targets," and no one will defend them because they really WERE kinda bratty or naughty.  Who wants to go up to bat for someone who is perceived to be not-so-innocent? 

When we talk about "safe schools," though, I think we should also be talking about ways to make the teachers feel safe.  I think the young lady with the white beret and sarcastic talk is perfectly within her rights to say what she feels, even if it's a bit mean and unkind... but some of the other videos linked here are disturbing!  If I were a teacher, and some children were destroying effigies of me on youtube, I don't think I'd be wanting to teach them in class the next day.  I don't know how teachers negotiate their contracts or what THEY feel would be reasonable expectations of privacy and safety (so I can't particularly comment on how to "fix" this) ... but I don't think I could teach some of these kids.  At all.

And can I say that some of the comments about this being just kids getting their anger out are also disturbing?  Expressing your anger in a public place like that is just NOT ok. Punch a pillow at home and don't let others hear about it.  Good grief.  NOT ok, you guys.

23 October 2010

Family Photo

My great-great-great grandfather John Barron is on the left.  John was born 1831 in Garryduff, Wexford, Eire and came to US about 1850. He paid the passage for his wife, Margaret, in 1855.  Don't you love looking at old photos?


22 October 2010

Garbage Goes in Garbage Can

I can't stress that enough, people. Don't just throw it out the window.

Ok, now that we have that mini-parenting lesson out of the way, let's "start a conversation" about jailing parents for missing teacher conferences! Good common sense says that alll "good" parents show up for these conferences. And it's not harsh to give parents criminal records for being uninvolved at school. It's all about protecting our children and helping parents be the best moms and dads they can be. In fact, the local prosecutor would team with social services agencies to make sure that these parents have "resources" so that they can do a better job after they serve their time. Isn't that nice?

Government really *does* care better than we can for our children. And for those *very few* of you out there who are doing a "good" job without help from the sheriff's office, I'm sure you'd be ok with laws like this because they won't affect you. Just like you'd have no problem with the police searching through your house and your car without a warrant if you have nothing to hide. And if this jailtime proposal saves only ONE child from a mediocre education, it would be worth it. Because children are important.

I've heard this sort of "conversation" before in regard to "welfare checks" on the children who are homeschooled as well. Rather than assuming that a parent is a good ENOUGH parent not to be prosecuted and/or lose his children, we should start from the assumption that there ARE bad parents out there. I mean, that IS a true statement. There are. Bad parents. Out there. And egads, some of them homeschool!

So every year or so, homeschoolers ought to submit something official certifying that they've been checked out by a government-approved agency and are ok enough parents to have charge of their children until the next reporting season. Child abuse is no small thing, and if it saves just ONE child from abuse or neglect, it would be worth it. Because children are important.

I'm musing on this idea, and I have to tell you that I'm not sure why we'd only do this annually, though. I'm thinking quarterly is still better. If it saves just ONE child, it would be worth it. Because children are important, and there ARE bad parents out there. I would happily submit to having my home investigated every quarter! And I think a social worker should ensure my children are not watching "educational television" during their homeschooling hours via spot checks! Can't be too careful.

Yes. I would be only too happy to give up all my rights AND vote against those of my neighbours if it would save only one child. We all know that children are never abused in state-approved foster care, so the ends justify the means.

Seriously... Is this even a "conversation" we should be having?

Did it ever occur to anyone that some parents miss those parent-teacher conferences not because they don't care, but because the meetings are hard to make and/or are patronizing and convey no real new information about their child's progress? Or did it ever occur to anyone that maybe some parents are homeschooling because the abuse is IN THE SCHOOL? Did it?

And did any of these people actually ask the teachers whether they really want to have these "resources" funnelled away from the classroom? The money for these programs comes from somewhere, you know.

Darren, a public high school math teacher, wrote that parents who are only there for conferences because they've been threatened with prison are JUST the sort he wants to deal with. Methinks he was a weeee mite sarcastic.

I s'pose there are crappy parents everywhere, but I think we should save the big guns in our arsenal for clear-cut abuse cases. In my opinion, we should err on the side of keeping children with their parents while we recognize that there ARE very bad parents out there. And the "crimes" of the very bad parents aren't limited to missing conferences. For crying out loud...

20 October 2010

A Political Post

Patrick was required for his AP American History class to work for five hours on someone's campaign. He had already worked at the polls on an anti-Obamacare measure that passed here in Missouri. But this time, he decided to work for a Democrat.

And why, you ask? Because he has a cool name. At least that's the official answer from Patrick.

It's just crazy. Mark Ellebracht's (and his opponent's) campaign people MUST have spent more than the job actually pays on fliers (plus postage!), yard signs, buttons and assorted rah-rah items. He said that he doesn't usually work with high schoolers, but Patrick seems pretty determined and so he'll take him 'round personally to make sure that he's ok. (I wasn't worried... but...ok.)

And sometimes, he warned me, people might use bad language. Am I still ok with him going? Yep.

"Great!" Patrick, he said, will be getting a button, campaign literature and a YARD SIGN. So it won't all be for nothing! (I thought the experience would be something enough... I'm telling you, this guy really is very polite and kind. But I just don't see where he could have gone to public school locally and still been concerned that my son would hear bad language during his foray into the neighbourhood... I mean, the guy looks about two years older than Patrick, so it couldn't have been that he went to school during the 1950's and has no clue that people don't say "shucky-darn" when they get upset on the bus.)

So Patrick went door-to-door with this fella and also worked the "phone bank." When he called to get his ride home, I DID NOT recognize his voice. When I answered, he said, "Hello. This is Patrick Lastname calling on behalf of the Mark Ellebracht..." I nearly hung up on him just out of habit.

I asked the kid about the yard sign later on.

"Oh," he responded. "He didn't give me one after I told him my views." Wait a minute... he has "views???" But of late, his "views" seem to be opposite mine when we're talking together. At school, he's conservative, or so I hear from parents of other children. I'm not quite sure I have this guy figured out yet.

For that matter, I haven't figured myself out yet. I can tell you how sorely I've been disappointed in the Republican leadership in their working for basic human rights for people like Elf when they attend school. (Hey, if he isn't a high-power executive with jobs that will trickle down, I guess he doesn't count.) But Democrats seem more concerned about the rights of the teachers and their collective bargaining powers than they are about the schoolchildren. Meh... what a tossup.

19 October 2010

Small Photos.

(Sorry.  Once I saw the notice that blogger would not upload photos for TWO WHOLE HOURS tomorrow, I had to load photos and do a short post tonight.) 

Do you like my Polish pottery bowl?  I was too lazy to get all the ingredients together (as suggested on the Passport to India page) to make an authentic Indian meal.  This buying a prepared package method offers a small sample without the mess, though.  Elf dislikes potatoes and spicy things.  Somehow he decided this wasn't very yummy.  So Emperor got to eat the whole bowl as this product  is milk free!  Elf had Goober Grape sandwiches and Swedish fish instead. :)

In other news, I finally got the chance to cut G's hair.  I would love to show you how nice it looks, but G says I can't take his picture for the blog.  WHAT is it about the teen years that makes people reluctant to pose for their Mommy's readers?  Come on, now.  This picture doesn't even do the before/after difference justice.  His hair is FLUFFY and CURLY and thick.  You can only cut tiny bits off at a time, or you won't be able to see the comb/your fingers.  As you can see, I have the child sit in a chair in the middle of my kitchen.  For all the fighting we had to do over whether he got to cut his hair/can he straighten his hair/ but but but... he now says that it looks nice.  I guess just not "let Mom take your picture and share it with the entire world" nice. 

18 October 2010

Passport to India

The Passport to India program encourages homeschoolers to learn more about the country and to support Sonlight's efforts to fund Bible Clubs for Indian children.  Our "host," Chris, is experiencing India for the first time just as we are.   He just had a 25-hour-long trip during our first lesson.

Our kit finally arrived... with a September postmark. (Good thing it wasn't my mortgage or credit card bill or I'd be in trouble!)

The notes ask the children to pack for a week-long trip in a small box.  So... I gave the boys a Huggies box and told them to go to it.  They returned with the following items for their excursion:

10 books (including Bible)
teddy bear
Baikinman stuffed toy
GameBoy and games
note paper
pencils
"yadda-yadda" that records voices and talks back.

"Is that all you need?"  I asked them.

"Yep," Elf told me proudly.  "We packed everything!"

"Oh," I answered.  "So... tonight after dinner, what are you going to do?"
*GASP*  "Brush my teeeeeeeth..."

"With your...?"

"HANG ON!" Emperor yelped.  The boys scurried about and got toothpaste, a toothbrush, one pair of underwear (I guess they're sharing?) three shirts and two pants.  Now they're ready for anything.

OK!  We watched the first two days of Chris's trip and assembled our "suitcase" for the boys' donations.  I explained to the boys that we are not sending loose change in an envelope, but that any money they put into the suitcase would be doubled and placed on my credit card to the mission.

"So then, what happens to the money in the suitcase?" asked Emperor.  (Well, I keep that...)

"You're KEEPING the money we send for the children?" (Um... yes... but I'm doubling it on my credit card and sending it in...)

I keep explaining it, but I'm not sure I have full "buy-in" just yet on the whole giving money thing.    They still don't understand how it's perfectly HONEST for me to take the physical money out of the suitcase later and put other money on the credit card like that.  Isn't that stealing?

I have to wonder if other Passport to India families are coming across this sort of problem, or if my children are the only ones not understanding that not all financial switcheroos are dishonest or wrong.


16 October 2010

I Could Have Homeschooled Him!

... is the lament from a grieving mother whose child was bullied at school.   Oh, my goodness.

I'm so sorry to see stories like this in the news.  YES, it's true that when I read these stories sometimes, I wonder, "WHY didn't these parents just homeschool?"  I do.  I admit it.  Particularly when I read the parents doing this, that, documenting, calling this person and that, blah blah blah, etc.  There is no way these people have a full-time job and still have time for all that.  Wouldn't it just be easier to pull your child and give her a break (emotionally) for the rest of the year?  Try again later?  Yes, the bullies will "win" this way, I guess... but in my estimation, it would be just a different kind of win than they're already experiencing.

So why don't these parents homeschool?  It just gave me a sense of horror, seeing this mom go through the "what-ifs."  I wish I could hug this poor Momma and tell her that ALL parents second-guess themselves no matter what.  What if she homeschooled and her child fell behind academically?  What if this parent taught her child to kick butt and take names later?  What if they moved and started over in another school?  "What if" a lot of things.  We just don't know.  I'm so, so sorry, but we just don't know.

Wow.  Watch the attached videos or the 20/20 episode.  These parents WISH they could have another chance to pull their kids out of schools that were hell for their children, but as one parent noted, the text messages and threats can come to the house at 3 a.m., beatings can happen on a Saturday... and you have to deal with the same kids on Monday.

15 October 2010

"I Crack-Crack!"

I keep telling Elf to QUIT CRACKING HIS FINGERS.  *Crack, crack!* often is heard in our house.  I've gotten all kinds of fidgets to help him, and they seem to decrease this a bit.  Unfortunately, some little girl has figured out that practically dislocating one's fingers WILL get you lots of (negative) attention from Mom.  QUIT IT. 

14 October 2010

Making Weighted Blankets!

Sleeeeeepy...
Good night, Elf.


 The blankets were sewn by Project Linus volunteers and donated to Autism Works (an autism support group) for our autistic children.  Elf came to the meeting, helped me pick out the blankets he wanted to help stuff, and we got to work.  Do you want to see how to make weighted blankets?  They're basically two cloths sewn together in stripes and stuffed with sheets.  There are about 14 sections, seven on each side.  You could make yours longer or shorter if you wished.  During our session, we rolled up sheets (also donated, but by a different organization) and stuffed them into the velcro sections to complete the project.  This way, when the blanket is soiled, it's WASHABLE.  So many other weighted items are not.  The blankets have a good heft to them and it really is difficult to carry more than one about.  Many thanks to Autism Works and the work they do for children, and to Project Linus!

12 October 2010

Hair By Wal-Mart Salon

No.  It's worse than that.  I cut it myself.  I can't STAND going to the hairdresser.  Everything smells all weird and there are people who like to do the chit-chat thing.  I don't know.  I never know what to say to anyone during the chat times and I'm sure I will come across as unfriendly or totally irrelevant/on a tangent.  Then there is the, "Eew, who did your hair?" and "What product have you been using?" questions that usually come up.  Normal people don't call 'em "product."  Half the time I use dish soap in the sink but I don't want to tell them that. 

10 October 2010

News Roundup!

**
What sort of people would you like to work with?  Hmm.  Suppose you are the only unmarried man in your office.  In Provo, Utah.  Yeah, you sort of stick out like a sore thumb, I s'pose.  But your work buddies will change all that for you.  So happens that decision to be a nice guy and do a photo shoot so that your company could get some sort of free product is gonna change your life, Lance.  That's right!  They put your picture on a billboard and are vetting dating candidates right now! 

I can just imagine the look on Lance's face when he drove by that thing... Well, at least they didn't give out his contact information.  They get the applications and then "talk up" the potential dating candidates.  Then Lance (maybe) picks up the phone and calls.

Poor Lance.  Because at first glance, I was thinking, "What sort of LOSER needs his own billboard in order to get a date?"  I have a feeling that Lance is putting in job applications elsewhere on the sly.

**
If you're mean to a gun-owning Kansas City woman who drives 200 miles from her home to kill you because of your stupid internet comments, no action will be taken against you, and she will go to jail.  So if you're going to be nasty online, do it to those "anger-turned-out" types and get yourself a large dog.

OK, seriously, people.  This sort of thing is why I blog using a pseudonym.  There are some scary people out there!

**
And WHY do black motorcyclists die at a much higher rate than whites after an accident?  One commenter joked that the pavement was racist.  But the article is much more circumspect, hypothesizing that it is all EVERYBODY'S fault because black cyclists lack good health insurance, thus making it far more likely that they'll die after impact.  Not going to that preventive care checkup makes alllll the difference after your body hits the pavement at 60 mph.

Right.

**
Aaaand finally, check out these rings!  I think the eyeball ones are sooo kewl.  Only thing is, I have a nickel allergy and I don't really order stuff I'm not sure about.  I just got red almost blistery skin because I have a new pair of jeans, and what I couldn't tell when I was trying the stupid thing on is that the button must be made of nickel.  Back to sweatpants I go...

09 October 2010

Who's a Pretty Bird?

Arg.
"If you consider yourself lucky to have your very own woodpecker nesting hole in your siding, you may want to watch the woodpeckers perform courtship behavior, copulations, and drumming behavior, as these usually take place in close vicinity to the nesting site. Later on, after the eggs hatch, you may be able to see the adults bringing food to the young. Eventually, you may catch sight of your very own nestling peering out at you from the pocket in your house while begging and crying to be fed. Vigilant watchers may even be able to witness the fledging of the young, and to feel proud knowing that they had, in some small part, helped in the rearing of these birds." 

Aww... how sweet.  Well, according to this website, anyway, "it can be fun and informative to observe... some exciting territorial or breeding behaviors without having to trek through the woods as many people are inclined to do."

We're thinking no, thanks.  Guess we'll be hanging up some weird-looking foil in our front yard and calling an exterminator to make double-triple sure that there are no underlying insect problems.  We haven't seen anything unusual, but it can't hurt to be positive.  I'm sure it will cost us more than two pennies, but there you go.

I heard a woodpecker from inside the house and it sounds like a large cat or dog thunking about and upsetting furniture from inside.  Nothing like what it must sound like from the outside... but I saw the woodpecker fly away when I popped outdoors to investigate.  Here's what he looked like.  Actually I'm suspicious that it's a SHE, but not sure.  Scroll around for video and sound.  :)

08 October 2010

Elf is Growing Up.

A little over a month ago, Elf could not tie his shoes or cross a parking lot reasonably safely.  That's a lot of progress!  And until today, he could not clip his fingernails.  He was ready.  And he did a reasonably good job of it as well.  He has been very afraid of the clippers and chewed his nails and fingers bloody in the past.  He is growing up.  This evening, I told him that his father wanted him to go to public school next year for sixth grade.  He was visibly upset.  But he would not be going to that same terrible elementary, but the middle school... which in SOME ways is probably a lot worse... I just didn't tell him that part.  (My neighbour revealed today that she is homeschooling her third-grader.  I was so tempted to ask why and compare notes... but I didn't.) 
*
I told Elf that he will need to have skills like learning to wait for the bus and how to deal with people in crowds.  And can you try this next year?  Dad would really like you to give it a good shot.  Elf took a big breath and said, "Yes.  I can go.  But... I would rather stay home with you."  Aww, Elf.  I'm sorry.  It's been almost four whole years that he has been homeschooling.  We can try to do things Dad's way next year.  I know it will be hard.  But I want him to be ABLE to do it.  Wouldn't that be nice?  To be ABLE to do it?  I would miss Mr. McMelfie terribly, though.  D wasn't that excited about the nail clipping revelation.  He should have been able to do that years ago, he said.  Siiigh.  Well... maybe.  But I am glad that he is able to do this by himself now.

07 October 2010

That Awful Jail, School?

The following exchange happened during school hours on facebook.  Not exact quotes, but pretty close to 'em.

TeenfriendofSon:  having trouble getting on to games on facebook.  :(

Me:  That stinks!  They're blocking them, are they?

TFOS:  I can post, and I can read comments, but I can't play games!

Me:  Well, it's YOUR education.  You should be able go get onto the games or text or whatever as long as your volume is off and you are not distracting others.  Um... ask Patrick to give you the monologue for me so I don't have to get into it, OK?  (He was in a study hall with my son at the time.  I would imagine he would probably just roll his eyes if he were asked for the monologue, though. Teens are fun.)

TFOS:  Thanks.  At least SOMEBODY agrees with me.  This stinks.

Aw, well.  This same fella enjoys school most of the time, as does Patrick.  He's pretty new to facebook and he probably was hoping to milk his goats, build an empire or whatever the game of the day is with him.

But I don't always take the side of freedom and justice.  At least, not in the eyes of most teens.  I fully support the required wearing of lanyards on school grounds and the right of security to make sure you are who you say you are.  I hate that it does sort of make it look like a police state in that building... but... the schools honest-to-goodness are following the trends that larger workplaces have HAD to take of necessity.  I don't like it.  I just understand and support it.

It so happens that a couple years ago, a man drove into the high school parking lot with his truck.  He tried to have some inappropriate conversations with some young ladies who were getting out of their own cars and going into school.  His "suspicious" behaviour was reported to police, and they caught him masturbating in the parking lot.

What's to say a slightly bolder man wouldn't just walk in to the school for his jollies? 

For that matter, I'm sure a man could walk into school with a few guns and do all sorts of stuff before the cops shot him.  But really, I'm ok with the campus security being aware of who is who and who might be out of place. 

I know it only goes so far.  Children have PE on the athletic fields and some walk to and from school.  You CANNOT expect campus security to be everywhere.  But I'm ok with them asking you for your ID if they really don't know you if you are on school property.  Interesting that that story only made the police blotter ("indecent exposure, date, address of school," but no mention that it IS the school) and the high school hall chatter, and not the nightly news, though.

I think older teens (16 and up) should be allowed to leave school entirely if their parents have signed off on this idea.  Why couldn't they walk over to a nearby shop or have lunch on a grassy field, so long as they weren't disturbing the PE classes or causing some sort of ruckus?  Despite the weirdos out there, I think the teens need to be able to walk off-campus with their friends if they have parental permission.  How are we going to help our students manage distractions like nearby stores and facebook games and balance them with their need to get their work done?  I'm thinking common-sense limits.  I also think perhaps much of the anti-teen attitude out there comes from the fact that when many teens DO get a little bit of freedom, they're not too adept at handling it.

No, I'm not a "let my kid get on the subway alone at age nine" sort of parent, but I'm ok with your being that way if you want to be and think your guy's ready.  I have some children who would be able to handle that freedom, and others who would REALLY need guidance of an adult.

Speaking of which, Elf and Emperor can tie their shoes!  Not perfectly, but they can do it.  AND... we are learning to walk across a parking lot and "looking both ways" before we do so.  I'm actually very encouraged by this.  It's been a great week for them.  I know many children have mastered these skills at a MUCH younger age... but I'm encouraged that we're moving forward on some of these skills that simply eluded them for so long.

Someday goal:  unload groceries, make appropriate small-talk with the cashier, pay and leave without her thinking we're REALLY odd.  That means no talking about Hello Kitty, Teletubbies or (the latest obsession!) thoughts about birthday parties featuring balloons of xenon instead of helium.  And would they be as fun?  What sorts of games would YOU play with them?  BUT we can't have radon at our party because Mom blah blah blah.

I think it's a do-able goal, given enough time.   I'm not kidding when I say that mayyybe they need to just follow a script.  We'll worry about "leaving campus alone" much, much later.  :)

06 October 2010

The Pumpkin Patch

"Eee tick-ohs!" Rose kept screaming whenever the goats licked the feed from her hands.

"Heb-bup pockin?"  Yes, three words together.  Mom paid almost $30 for "pockins" today.  And yes, I hebbed him up with his pockin.  And after being such a nice boy for a good part of the trip, *some* child had a horrible temper fit on the tractor ride back to the playground area.  A gang of two-year-old farmer boys finally offered him some clumps of hay and this (amazingly) suddenly calmed him.  Parents were relieved, because we were all stuck on this ride until it got back.  WHY is it that all of us adults couldn't figure out that the solution was giving the kid hay??  I mean, that makes sense...

This is new!  A "music" area with metal cups, pans, spoons and assorted fun stuff.  Noisy but entertaining.

I'm sure everyone at the pumpkin patch thinks THIS child's mom is awful.  He sat two carloads back but STOOD UP, WHOOPED AND RAISED HIS HANDS when the tractor went downhill.  His mom sorta yelled at him a little bit.  Don't do that again, kid.

Pumpkin donuts, soda pop, some chili for an older child who refuses to be pictured, and some popcorn for the egg-allergy boy.  Thank$, Mom!

Another music pic, but I'm too lazy to move the pictures around and risk "losing" some, thus having to reload the whole set.  You'll be ok, seeing the events out of order this time.
PS.  There is a reason why there are no "playground" pictures, and his name is Woodjie.  :)

Sticky Tile Mosaics

We're just on a re-decorating spree, aren't we?  Emperor and Elf LOVED making these.  I have to tell you, it's wayyyy easier than the old-fashioned but more permanent method of making mosaics.  Don't they look fun?  I googled a bit and found a link at amazon... for $3 cheaper than I bought it at the curriculum fair.  Oh, well.  Certainly I need to consider getting a few sets for some children at Christmas.  In case you are wondering, the kit DOES have enough sticky tiles to get through the projects.  We have a good plenty extra still in the box.

05 October 2010

Um... Is This REAL??


The guy who is "interested in most phases of data processing" actually looks very normal.  Most of the other guys are... kinda creepy.  I have to wonder if this is REALLY a 1980's montage of guys looking for dates.  Please tell me we weren't ALL that weird during that decade.  Please?

04 October 2010

Little Cranberries

D laughed when he saw this cranberry topiary in my cart.  But I think it looks nice with my Polish pottery bowl as a fall dining room centerpiece.  Perhaps it looks odd in the bowl, but since I have a collection of the same pattern roundabout it isn't quite so odd.  I don't think, anyway.  Well... it was $2.  Maybe I just need more stuff in the middle of the table, but during homeschool time, there are bunches of books and papers.  Hm.  Ok, maybe I am not sure what I am doing after all.  I thought it looked just fine a minute ago!  Now I'm thinking I need to find a brown bowl.  Then, when I get the brown bowl, I will likely swear I need something orange to go with the brown and red for fall.  Then... I will think it doesn't go with my Polish pottery, which is the central theme on this floor!  Ahhh... the decorating troubles a $2 fake cranberry topiary can cause. It's kind of looking too Fourth-of-Julyish now to my eyes.  I will probably have to buy $150 worth of stuff to surround it with so that I can achieve the perfect look.  (I'm kidding, D!!) 
Update:  Ok.  Going with first inclination and adding some family and candles so the plant doesn't look so lonely.  It's actually a deeper, more cranberry red in real life.

03 October 2010

Weird Eating Habits

Apparently SOME people have to tune into cable TV to learn about them!  Can you believe they're going to do a whole show about people who eat the same thing every day

"Children who usually stick to just one type of food have suffered some sort of emotional disturbances or have fears of vomiting or choking that compels them to stick to one food. They usually outgrow this."


“'It’s rare to see adults with that narrow of menu choices,' Bermudez (president of an eating disorders organization) said. 'It’s almost unheard of.'"

That's strange... almost unheard of?  Because I'll eat the same thing all the time.  It's normal.  After a few weeks or a month, I'll get tired of that thing and eat something else at almost every meal for a few weeks.  And there are a good plenty of perfectly regular autistic folks who like the same things, if not every day, then certainly more than four times in a given week.  And I know plenty of people who always drink the same diet pop or coffee every day.  It's only when it pertains to FOOD that it's considered a strange thing?

And isn't it weird to eat something different at every meal?  All the time?  I know people are expected to do that in public to be polite but... seriously?  People do that?

Maybe it's just me.  It just doesn't seem all that exciting of a show, spending hours trying to figure out why someone eats only french fries or pizza.  It's because right then, french fries or pizza are the thing. 

I asked our doctor's office about Woodjie's food aversions.  He was eating pretty much nothing but lemon pudding, cashews and potato bread sandwiches there for a while.  Cereal at breakfast.  They said as long as he takes a vitamin and is gaining weight well, why worry?

So often I'll add something different on the side.  Some raisins.  A granola bar.  Now he will eat a bit of dried corn with his meals but not the stuff from the can.  He will eat an apple slice but not applesauce.  I just give him little bits of this or that and if he eats it, great!  If not, try again in a few weeks or months.

I HAD gone through a time where I wanted Elf to expand his food choices.  I followed the parenting mag advice and just kept serving regular, healthy meals.  He literally lost ten pounds and WOULD NOT make up for lost food intake at the next meal if it weren't to his liking.  I've come to the conclusion that life is too short ot worry so much about these things.

02 October 2010

Education Nation on NBC

"Education is the key to our future success as a country and the cornerstone of our democracy. Yet, we have allowed our students to fall behind. Sixty-eight percent of our eighth-graders can’t read at grade level. One-third of our students drop out of high school, and another third aren’t college-ready when they graduate." NBC Education Nation.

Hmmm... I'm sure George Washington et. al were sitting around fighting about standardized test scores and international competition when they were working on the Constitution.  (The "revisionist history" thing is why you haven't heard about this fact before.)  It was even *more* contentious than that whole banking and state debt issue.  In fact, I think that Hamilton got into a duel over whether the federal government should administer NAEPs or SATs or state tests or just let some publisher in Texas decide everything after it's admitted to the union... later.  It went something like that. 

Because education is THE CORNERSTONE OF DEMOCRACY, ok?  The cornerstone.  Without "education," you have no democracy.  And it follows that our students must "read at grade level," or democracy is in trouble.  *Whew.* It's a good thing these journalists are objective, or we'd be in some serious trouble!

I've seen a few blurbs here and there on the blogs about the "fair" treatment homeschoolers are getting in this special.  Um, yeah.  Headlines about homeschoolers no longer having a "stigma" because they're not all religious nutball radicals realllly helps out, guys.  Only *some* of them are religious wacko fundies, is the takeaway message.  But, hey.  Whatever.   Go have fun writing all that and fooling yourself that NBC is being all fair and balanced and stuff.  I still like you, and I'll still read your blog.  I just disagree.

But were there any homeschoolers on their godlike "panel" discussions?  No?  Oh.  Well, that's ok, given that we (allegedly) make up only about two percent of the populace.  But how about just plain old PARENTS?  Did the public school PARENTS get a spot up there with Arne Duncan and the reps from the teachers unions?  No?

Oh.

Teachers, though, had union reps.  And there were several teachers introducing panels and sitting on them.  But I guess they didn't defer entirely to the teachers, but actually allowed people like Michelle Rhee to say a few words here and there.  And we need to stop this ATTACK on public educators.  Waah, waah, waah.  Really!  Read an excerpt of this article:

"For the past week, the national media has launched an attack on American public education that is unprecedented in our history."

Do you hear that?  Unprecedented.

"NBC devoted countless hours"

Um, it isn't "countless."  You just didn't count.

..."to panels stacked with 'experts' who believe that public education is horrible because it has so many 'bad' teachers and 'bad' principals. The same 'experts' appeared again and again to call for privatization, breaking teachers' unions, and mass firings of 'bad' educators. Oprah devoted two shows to the same voices. The movie Waiting for 'Superman', possibly the most ballyhooed documentary of all time, explains patiently that poor test scores are caused by bad teachers, that bad teachers are protected for life by their unions, and that the answer to our terrible test scores is privatization."

It's interesting that teachers (or at least some of the people who claim to speak for them!) are circling the wagons on this one.  I've watched several of these discussions, and really?  Mostly they're just yapping about mayyyyybe sommmmeday firing some of the "ineffective" teachers, by which they mean teachers who can't get those test scores to improve.  But first... they'll put in "supports."  And "training."  And "mentorship programs."  And "blah."  And "blah."  And "blah." 

So... whatever.  It's just talk.  Much sound and fury signifying nothing.  I'm not too worried about it in any case.  It actually looked, from my vantage point, as though the TV folks took this publicly-funded education system thing as a GIVEN forever and ever, world without end and then had debates from there.  No real examination of the idea of publicly funded education was really launched.

But one parent actually had the audacity to stand up at the end of one of these sessions and ask welllll... WHY are there no PARENTS on the panel?  The answer was that "we can't have everyone in the world" on the panel, and some backhanded jabber about parents needing to be a "team" with the administrators and teachers blah blah, and we should ask parents if they have a DESK set up at home for the child to do homework! 

Ohhh, myyy, was that ever condescending.  "Can't invite everyone in the world" would suggest to me that only the most important people got to attend.  And parents?  Are extraneous.  And the very idea that student achievement goes RIGHT BACK to the parent and whether she had a stinkin' desk set up at home was really something.  (Because my children have no desks and are truly deprived, I'm a little snarky on this one.) 

Some members on this panel had just gotten finished stating that children in poverty need "wraparound services" and about 99999 billion dollars from the federal government and for cats and dogs to live in harmony in order to give schools the proper support... but parents?  Ah, in response to your question, they just need to set up a desk at home, do what the teacher says, and shut up.  Don't eeeeven ask to be on an important panel about educating your child.

(Good grief.  But unlike some, I'm not calling for a boycott, protest, or anything like that.  Let people say what they want to say!  Is someone's opinions on teacher effectiveness really that important?)

Bringing Garbage Home

Some people up the street were throwing this table away. It was in pretty bad shape and one of the legs was off. I've glued the leg back...