29 November 2010

Hideaway at Home

One argument I keep hearing against more state regulation of homeschooling is that children in states that are very strict do not perform better on these useless tests than they do states where no such regulation exists.

What a crock. Um... let's see... children who ALL have to take a test in one state not doing better in the aggregate than children whose parents in another state have OPTED for testing their brainiacs (probably to show off to their neighbours that homeschoolers outperform the public schoolers). Hmm.

To my mind, the central issue is not performance and achievement, but the reasonable rights of the family to be autonomous in this department. In a maybe-not-related, but then again maybe very apropos story, here's a family that opted to have its children away from others. I mean everybody. Judging from the article, no birth certificates, no doctor visits, no friends, no relationships with relatives, no going to see the cookie aisle in the grocery store and learning not to talk to strangers... nothing.

How could you hide your children away with no doctor appointments for 13 YEARS?? I don't buy it. Note the article said "no EVIDENCE of medical care." Bet you she showed up anonymous at an emergency room or paid a doctor cash at some point. You can't get through 13 years without an accident or strep throat. How do you even get groceries to the 13-year-old alone (nevermind the other children) without the neighbours suspecting you're keeping livestock in the attic or wondering about your metabolism?

It isn't the lifestyle I would pick for my children at all. I don't know that it's "child endangerment" though. Not having a friend or ever picking a flower outside is sad, sad stuff... but I don't know about child endangerment. Must be more going on than is being reported.

Incidentally, this happened in Pennsylvania, one of the strictest states (homeschooling-wise) in the nation. Stricter laws do not necessarily mean a safer populace. Stricter laws can force some otherwise well-meaning and connected people "underground." Not even sure that this family was homeschooling, or well-meaning, or "underground," or even "sane." I wish the articles were more thorough on these things as well as told us where the children wound up. Certainly it could be argued that this is none of our business, to which I would have to ask whyyy the original article was even published in that case?

In any event, that family is an extreme example. Honestly, at first blush (and there's not much to go on!) they seem a little wack, but probably not illegal. I'm not sure if it's illegal to do without a birth certificate, or even a doctor visit if there is no immediate apparent medical need. They mentioned no SCHOOLING, but there was no mention of illiteracy. Um, incidentally... illiteracy? My 15-year-old is illiterate. He is a public education student. He has had an IEP since he was three. Illiterate does not necessarily mean lack of eduation or effort. Just thought I'd mention that. With great effort he might read a low-level first grade sentence or two before handing the book back to you and asking you to just tell him what it says.

Every child is different, and looking back, I'm not sure that my son was best served by sending him to school. Then again, if I had kept him home to educate him and he were illiterate now, guess who would be blamed? Um, yup. Just sayin'.

Star Trek Thoughts From Elf and Emperor

* Captain Kirk sure has a *problem* with women. But at least his problem is with women - that's good -right, Mom??

* I really, really want a tribble for Christmas. I will keep my room neat and feed it. They're so cute! Can I have one?

* The computer knows a lot of amazing things. I wish I could ask it some questions.

* How do all these new people show up in every episode? I thought they were in space and there were no people out in space.

* There are MORE episodes than these three? Can I see another?

26 November 2010

My New Facebook Account

My name is Happy-Elf Homeschool and I am a YoVille addict.  This is my photo.  If you become my facebook friend, you will get timely "Happy-Elf" updates, and you know you can't live without those.  You will also receive energy drinks and fab-u-lous prizes if you play YoVille with me.  Currently the fabulous prizes mostly consist of fake pillows and Cottage credenzas but hey, what do you want for free? :)

24 November 2010

Rich People Are Emotionally Stupid

That's right. A highfallutin' (probably rich) journal of psychology said so.

See, rich people don't really NEED other people the way poor folks do. Somehow they are able to run their empires/ kingdoms/ corporations/ whatever and never need to "read" the emotions of the people around them. I see this in my shopping allll the time, and the differences between the "rich" and "poor" shoppers is astounding. Mind you, I am speaking in generalities only and (being on the lower end of the wealth spectrum myself) simply attempting to shed a bit of light on this "scientific" finding:

Wal-Mart workers, owing to their extreme dependence on their jobs, are intuitively almost *giddy* to assist customers. That's why I always shop at Wal-Mart, and not Richie Foo-Foo's high-end restaurant where they like to misdirect you, pretend not to know what product you're talking about, and give general "it should be over here somewhere" mumbled "helps" before running about into another aisle with a scanner and nary a backward glance. We all know that we'd NEVER be treated that way at Wal-Mart.

Aaah. And the clientele at the two establishments. Night and day! I'm always pleasantly astounded by the courteousness of the unaccompanied young shoppers at Wal-Mart. Those children are ALWAYS on the lookout for my emotional feedback.

But when I (as happens so often!) dine in places like Richie Foo-Foo's that use cloth napkins and code words like "market price" on the menu, I notice very quickly that these establishments know nothing of "noise moderation" or "musical taste." Further, the diners employ "fingernails on the blackboard" techniques to annoy those nearby by screeching things like, "Roofie! Roofie! You done got them apples? They on special!" I tell you, grammar like this ought be reserved and used on our political prisoners after the waterboarding techniques don't work. I won't even mention the lack of consonants employed by Mr. Moneybucks and his ilk. Folks like this are far too busy employing their double negatives, I suppose, to give consonants a good workout.

In conclusion, Richie Rich folks have MONEY, so they can afford to be annoying.

I have about zero dollars, but I know hate when I see it. Who writes these "scientific" journal articles, anyway? It struck me as a classist rant indeed, just as mine was meant to be... except theirs wasn't a joke. And the conclusion?

"A final experiment found that, when people were made to feel that they were at a lower social class than they actually were, they got better at reading emotions. This shows that 'it’s not something ingrained in the individual,' Kraus says. 'It’s the cultural context leading to these differences.'" (emphasis mine)

Um... did anyone ever see Trading Places? This is the sort of social experiment that needs to stay in the movie theatre. Unfortunately, as so often happens when a new and very "scientific" sort of story hits the news, it gets twisted and pandered as Absolute Truth to people who get their news from places like the Daily Mail. YES, that is Paris Hilton's naked butt in the sidebar. I didn't need to see it, either.

23 November 2010

Please Support a Young Writer

No e-book purchase or money required.  Just click this link and say hello to Emperor.  He has written some myths for me in his English class today.  I find it interesting to watch his writing evolve.  He demonstrates sophisticated use of punctuation, parentheses and quotation marks but still forgets to capitalize some sentences.  I left it on the blog exactly as he had written it in his journal.  I can see in the margin that he planned his story, too.  In a circle, he wrote to himself, "Topic. (arrow) Beloka is a weird god."

22 November 2010

Baby Buddies

Woodjie and Rose have very different abilities, but they are best friends.  They like to play cars and house together.  They share French fries and most of the time, they share their toys, too.  Rose is on the lookout for Mom or Dad to leave the room and she will encourage Woodjie to "Go! Go! Go!" and he will jump the gate and get forbidden toys from the other room.  The girl will hide these and Woodjie will hop into the gate again.  You wouldn't believe how often I've had to confiscate things from this little team.

21 November 2010

Not Buying Stupid Stuff.

It looks like if you want to raise your sons the MANLY way, you need this book.  Go look.  See ya in a sec.
So anyway, thousands of people probably have this book on their bookshelves right now.  In fairness, I have no idea what it says.  It might have much wise and sage advice about how to raise our sons in the knowledge and fear of the Lord.  It really might be a powerful, biblically-based book.  Somehow, though, knowing that its author later solicited "services" from a fella on "rentboy," I'm thinking that the "advice" should be taken with an entire bag of salt.

(And then again, who would know better how to avoid the parenting traps that would encourage homosexual behaviour than a closeted homosexual?  Umm, maybe I just don't want to know.  I would prefer just not to dwell on the who's gay and who isn't and focus on Christ.  Jesus is Good all the time, and all of us struggle with something.  And why borrow our troubles when it comes to our children?  Sufficient onto the day is the evil thereof and all that.  I don't exactly live in ignorance, but I also don't check out entire books on my children's "sexual identities."  It just seems creepy to me somehow, even thinking about it.  Eew.)

Obviously the pedophilia book that raised a ruckus on amazon crosses the line no matter where you draw it, but we really need to be discerning in what we buy and who we listen to.  I don't mean "be scared and ask your pastor before checking out any book from the library or making a new friend" sort of discerning.  I mean "discerning" as in using a combination of wisdom, common sense and the Holy Spirit when listening to someone, reading literature, or even just in thinking our own thoughts. 

Just a thought I had in my head this morning that I wanted to share.  God bless.  :)

19 November 2010

The Sad Elf at Homeschool.

One of the GREAT things about homeschooling is that you can do things just as you wish.  I just didn't mean for it to evolve into something quite so specialized. 

Every day, the Elf wakes up.  He has Froot Loops or Marshmallow Mateys.  No milk.  Except in his special "elf-sized mug."  He can NOT drink out of the glass mugs.  Noo.  He needs a special "elf-sized" spoon.  Proper bowl.  His special chair.

Time for school.  He has HIS special pencils, though how he tells these apart from the other identical pencils, I have no clue.  Still.  His pencils.  We begin our math first.  Always.  Elf has special squeezie toys to play with during math.  And his special eraser.  Special chair.  And the "official butt cushion" that has been sewn with his special fabric. 

During English, he reads the first page of the lesson as well as the special "Remember:" box on EVEN days.  On odd numbered days, he reads the second page and is sad that he doesn't get to read the special box.  On odd numbered days, he also must play white in chess.  We have several other odd rules and trust me, the children remember them all.

Elf doesn't like odd numbered days much.  On odd days, he must do his reading-aloud time SECOND.  But... he deals with it.  It used to be that Elf would always, always get to go first until Emperor figured out that this wasn't fair somehow.  (I would say "who cares," but it's a biiig deal apparently).

Elf answers only even-numbered questions.  This way, there is no dispute as to who did which whatever last and he is reading more than me today and blah blah blah.  Imagine the horror when Elf discovered that the ends of some months are odd!  And months begin with an odd number!  Eeek!

Lunchtime!  Must have Elf-sized cup, special Elf food and food in divided dish (no touching foods together!  Gah!).  We must do reading and award "Golden Tack Awards for Most Dramatic Reading."  Lately I've been tired of handing out brass brads (you know, the things they give to first-graders to make paper-plate "clocks?") and have tried to spice it up with happy sticker awards and the like with no luck.  Somehow earning a tack is more of an honour.

Lately I've been thinking that perhaps Elf needs to get used to things not being exactly the same each day.  If he's to go to public school next year, I should imagine the teacher won't likely ensure he gets his special desk, his special pencils, reading only even-numbered questions and the like.  I find no academic harm in settling things the way I have (it prevented many fights just to say sorry, it's an odd day today), but it's time to switch things around on the Elf a bit so that he can get used to not always having things as cozy as they are here in the Happy Elf Homeschool.

So... sometimes he will not get an Elfie spoon because Mom is mean and "forgot."  Sometimes he will not be able to use the very BEST (ok, identical to all the others) pencil.  And sometimes, just sometimes, I will make him read and solve an odd-numbered question.

That is just too much, though.  There was much crying and screaming and slamming of books.  He can NOT do this.  It is not fair.  Ensue totally irrational "not like Elf at all" sort of rant.  He felt very badly afterwards.  He said he felt stupid.  But it is hard for him to deal with all the wrong pencils and question numbers. 

Awww... ((hugs)) Mom loves ya, mister.  I had a little snuzzle time with the Elf and explained how he needs to do a little growing so that he will be ready for school next year.  Okayyy.  Off he goes to watch tv.  We all need a break after that emotional flipout.

Annnnd... not five minutes later, he flips out again.  Apparently it is awful - AWFUL!!- that Emperor has put some "mini-movie" on that he does not want to see.  And he is SO. MAD. ABOUT. IT that he just hates Emperor.  Why?  Well, because he wouldn't change the movie to something HE wanted to see.  (Nevermind that it's an odd day and Emperor's choice!)

Um... no.  Emperor's turn today.  You need to deal with it.  Elf says that he will NOT deal with anything, and he does NOT want to learn to deal with anything.  Because he does NOT want to go to public school next year.  He will fail any test they give him.  He will rip up all the books.  He will run away.  He will stay RIGHT HERE and HOMESCHOOL (stomps foot) and not GO TO SCHOOL EVERR AGAIIN!

Doggone it.  I realllly don't want him all confrontational like that.  And I feel like a big meanie, shaking up his whole world with the wrong pencils and whatnot.  Seriously, he's really upset and angry.  He had to spend about half the day in his bed crying.  I'm at a loss here.  :(

18 November 2010

Marriage = Obsolete

I suppose I'm hung up on the terms and therefore think this whole phone survey is a bit off-kilter.

Pretend we're calling a more liberal household for just a moment. If one is asking about marriage and whether it's obsolete, would the person answering the survey think "traditional one man, one woman marriage" and therefore answer yes? But the same person might not think that marriage *itself* is obsolete, and that gay people ought to be able to marry. Just this old-fashioned idea that it marriage ought be confined to traditional boundaries might be "obsolete" in this person's eyes.

Now let's pretend you're calling my house and I feel like answering your nosy question. Yes, marriage is pretty obsolete in societal terms. If you're taking into account what a "partner" earns when someone wants to qualify for aid, food stamps or other tax breaks, it's a real liability to get married in the lower classes. Factor in some extraordinary circumstances that happen to people more often than we'd like to believe, and it's downright sad.

Marriage is pretty obsolete, too, in that it is no longer required for respectability. How often do you see people shunned for having a baby out of wedlock? The worst you might get is an "oh," or a nasty look. The days of outright persecution are over in almost all circles. You can still get a job and it won't hold you back from having many friends.

But is it "obsolete" as in "worthless and outdated?" And what exactly defines a "marriage?" Do you mean "a marriage conducted in a church," or "a certificate issued by the state," or "two people who have decided they are married"? Terms are important here. I know some people who would say that if you aren't married in a church (and maybe even ONLY their church if you want to be officially sanctioned by God/sealed in the afterlife/ whatever) that it doesn't count. But in most Christian circles, the arguing over "gay marriage" is really an argument about tax breaks and state-issued marriage certificates. We want the government out of our religious expression, but in our marriages. I've yet to hear of a pastor who will marry couples without a license. I don't get it.

Is THAT, a state-sanctioned union, really "marriage?" Or a "legal arrangement?" And aside from not wanting brothers and sisters to marry and have children, WHY is the state's involvement in who can marry even necessary?

So... suffice to say... I'm confused. I'm not really sure what surveys like this prove. So WHAT if 69% of people surveyed think single women having babies is "bad for society?" My question would be, "Are the single women pregnant NOW?" I mean... are they asking if abortions would be "good" for society? For real? They're asking that?

I also want to know, with every "survey result" we see reported, how many people hung up on the caller, answered only some questions and how many answering machines/disconnected phones were reached. I don't know why, but I think that would help me understand these incoherent surveys better in that there would be some objective data.

Ok, thanks for reading if you got this far. :)

16 November 2010

"School Refusal"

Have you ever heard of it?

Supposedly it's different from the out and out "truancy" insofar as it is a psychological disorder.  A psychological disorder that affects about 5 to 28 percent of all children at one time or another.  A psychological disorder for which "pharmacological" treatments and psychotherapies are available.  That's right.  Drug your kids and let them talk it out, but for Heaven's sake, send them back to school as soon as possible.

"Well-meaning parents can make things worse, psychologists say, by allowing an anxious child to miss school, attending school with them as, for example, a classroom volunteer—or home-schooling. Such accommodations send the message that school is too scary for the child to handle alone and the fear is justified."

Yep.   Interesting buncha hooey, especially since about 3/4 of the time, it's the school that wants you to do its work and make their day easier.  At least that's how it's working out around here of late.

Right now, I'm dealing with some umm... interesting school "refusal" tactics from my 15-year-old.  Though I wouldn't call his "school refusal" some sort of gibberishy medical term.  I'd call it "autism," and despite some good efforts from some good teachers, he has trouble in class.  He makes trouble in class, too, let's face it. 

But lately he's figured out that he can use his "breaks" as a way to get out of work, and that if he's really naughty, his mom will have to come and get him.  Under ordinary circumstances, I'd make home a place he doesn't really want to be sent when he does that... but for reasons I'm not blogging today, it isn't possible right now.  Just trust me on this, but it is a situation we have autism specialists assisting us with and I am obligated to go with their advice for this present moment for various reasons.

So... I kept telling the school that I'm sorry he did (whatever) or said (whatever), but if we keep calling Mom to pick him up and get him out all the time, this will only reinforce the bad behaviour and make it worse.  So guess what's happening?  Instead of learning that like it or not some hours, school is overall where we need to be right now, Mom is the get-out-of-jail free card he plays every trip around the board. 

What the school really needs to do is get its crap together and find a different class or a specialized aide, because you know what?  I do think SOME (not all!) the teachers are genuinely doing what they can but are either overwhelmed (G not being the only kid in class, ya know) or have not handled autistic children before in a high school setting.  This whole situation isn't fair to G, the teachers, or the other students.  I keep hearing that it's a new school, it's a small school, and they don't have the "resources."  Dang, but I've seen the district budget and they can hire "resources."

G is a nice guy, mind you.  But what started out as a "you can leave the room and walk for a bit if you are very overwhelmed" has morphed over time into an idea in his head that he is allowed to wander out during all tests and instruction time. 

And I love the guy, but he's not terribly realistic.  He can't read well at all.  We're talking first or second grade level here.  But now he says he wants to be homeschooled.  And why? Because homeschoolers go on to college at the age of 15.  Plus, he sees Emperor and Elf have most of the afternoon off.

Yeah.  Emperor and Elf are AT WORK before 6 a.m. and continue work until about 1 p.m. with a break for lunch.  And they read for a good part of the time at night.  I don't think G could hack it... I really don't.  And college at 15? I don't want to get all paranoid... but I think the school is feeding this mindset.

I get calls from the counsellor about "maybe G doesn't have to go all day."  I WANT to respond that "maybe" he wants to find G a job with no diploma, but I'm ohhh so diplomatic and just say that really isn't an option; he must graduate on time.  Or the very DAY AFTER I inform the counsellor about this potential heart condition, I get a call saying, "G is in the office with me.  We both think it's a great idea for him to join the basketball team!"

I mean... I know that the heart specialist people are not putting restrictions on him before the cardiology appointment, but at our last doctor visit (regular MD), they DID HEAR A MURMUR.  G is off at the park right now (that's regular activity), but I'm not letting him join the team.  I guess I just hear "rules" that way, even if it's the same amount of exercise, yk?

Speaking of rules, I was telling Emperor to stay out of the cashier's "space" because this area is her space.  "And see that invisible line?" I said as I gestured.  "Stay back from it."

"I can't see an invisible line!!"  Arg.  He was being serious, too.  Then when I told him he needed to use his imagination and just stay back from where the line WOULD be, he seemed exasperated that the ENTIRE WORLD had a set of unwritten but somehow clearly-defined-to-everyone-else set of rules that we all must follow.

I sorta feel like that today.  I am having difficulty communicating that I AM supportive of a good school environment and the other students learning, but that in the LONG RUN my picking him up from school constantly will be counterproductive.  Hoping that the situation resolves for G and for EVERYONE at that school.  I'm going to do my part, to be sure, but "waving a magic wand and curing" is not on the horizon this week.  Sorry.  We're going to have to work something else out together, the school peeps and I.

The Cuteness Has Landed

 ... and they are trying to communicate!  The blonde creature calls this green thing a mahh-tur and is very proud that I have hung it on my wall.  The ponytailed alien has been writing about... well, she keeps pointing to the letters pretty importantly, nodding her head and smiling.  I am meant to understand this missive.  But what does it meannn?  :)

Carnival of Homeschooling!

The Carnival of Homeschooling is up at the NerdFamily Blog this week.  Check it out!

14 November 2010

I Need Some Advice

I think I am not understanding anyone's motives or even getting what the implications are for anything sometimes.  I'm still (???)ing over a recent conversation, typed online.  I'm not sure what I did wrong.  The conversation ended so abruptly that I'm not sure what to think...

Acquaintance Person:  Hi. I have missed you at church.

Me:  (silence for a bit)

(Thinking:  Hmm... she seems to be asking why I'm not going anymore without asking directly.  SO glad I'm typing because in real life, I'd launch into it.  And I don't want to get nasty about the church she is still attending.  I want to say something nice.  Whew.  I can be *so* much more discerning in type.  But that doesn't mean I'm very discerning even with a sec to think before I type... what to sayyyy?  Something nice.  Here goes...)

Me:  Hi!  Thanks.  How are you doing?  How is (adult son) doing in (organization)?

Person:  (ADULT SON) WAS UNABLE TO JOIN (organization) BECAUSE (obvious disqualification).

Me:  (Why the caps suddenly?  I don't get it.) Oh, that's too bad.  I'm sure he'll do great once he (does the thing that qualifies).

Person:  WELL I THINK THE STATE OUR COUNTRY IS IN THAT THE (organization) IS NO PLACE FOR A YOUNG MAN.  WELL I HAVE (appointment) SO MUST BE GOING.

Me:  Ok!  Nice chatting with you.

Person: BYE

Me:  (???)

Ok.  Please analyze the conversation.  WHAT did I do wrong here?  The silence part?  The asking about her son? I think I need some social skills classes or something.  I feel really bad.  I am always doing something not right.  The other night a dear sweet teenager came to say hello to me at the autism center.  She is a volunteer there.  STUPID me told her that I did not recognize her because she was not wearing a white shirt like last time.  Duh.  She was probably one of the nicest people ever and AFTER she said something ohhhh! I recognized her face.  But I wasn't thinking about it without the right shirt.  That's dopey.  People change their shirts!! So... why didn't I recognize her?  She was even in the same place I saw her last time.  Arg.  That was rude of me.  I do this to everybody who isn't my best friend for about three years. 

And duuuh.  There's this other lady that goes to the autism center.  I could tell you her name and 50 things (no exaggeration!) about her and her family, and I know personal things and all kinds of stuff.  But I don't recognize her with her hair down.  I figured this out after she kept talking to me the other day as if she knew me pretty well.  But I thought maybe she was someone the director hired to do the presentation that day so I was guardedly nice, wondering why she had that happy "I know you well" sort of dance to her.  We had to sit and chat with her a long time before I sort of had an inkling of who she was.  I didn't know for sure until someone else called her name.

STUPID stuff like that.  She probably thought I was snobby and unfriendly.  Yeah, kinda!  I was, looking back on it.  Sorry.  But I didn't say anything to her about it in case maybe everyone would think that I have Alzheimers or something.  But you can't lose what you never had.  I do that when I'm driving, too... just keep going and hope I recognize the place soon.  Do you know how terrifying highways are?  You could wind up most anywhere.  I will go to Wal-Mart.  I will go to Sam's Club.  The doctor's office.  A few places nearby I know.  Please do not ask me to go anywhere new, ever.  (I am freaking out just thinking about it.)

Still, I could always tell my father and my uncle apart even when their wives could not.  They were identical twins.  But they were so, so different.  Some lady wears the wrong colour shirt, though, and all bets are off.

I hope I haven't offended this person I chatted with online tonight.  I'm not sure what to think.  Feeling guilty and going over and over the conversation in my mind.  So, lemme have it.  Surely it can't be worse than what I'm feeling and saying to myself already.  There is probably some very obvious "rule" that I have overlooked, such as, "I know you must be busy, so I will let you go," is a polite way to say, "Go away now because I'm done."

Sigh.

Good Samaritan Tip

Well, it wasn't enough to get emergency responders and Good Samaritans leery of helping people in vehicles because they might be playing possum and then try to rob ya.  Now, people should wait until the haz-mat team arrives before opening car doors. 

Want to know why?  It's because people are killing themselves in new and more inventive ways, and you might just die as well if you don't have the proper gear.  I think of all the diabetics and heart attack victims who won't be saved in time now, but we really do need to keep the EMTs safe.  Hopefully with more gear and more training, your average EMT would be able to help you whether chemicals were suspected or not.

12 November 2010

Chess League!

Who knew it was pretty much an all-boy thing? I didn't.

Elf and Emperor have been looking forward to this for months! They play at least one game a day and sometimes do puzzles online. So, I would never classify them as *serious* players, but the chessboard isn't gathering dust, either.

We're meeting up with some serious players. Is it just me, or are the suuuuper-serious players all homeschoolers? My goodness. We're playing with a kid who was kindergarten state champion and his older brother. They don't just play chess, they understand notation and have memorized chess scenarios by name. Wow, I'm a slacker homeschool mom. But they're extremely nice, polite folks and you just can't help but like them even if they do beat you every time.

We're a bit more evenly matched with the public school kids who are there just because they want to be. They're not serious players, but are going for the fun of the game.

One of them in particular seems to be very friendly with Elf. He looks - I swear - EXACTLY like Frodo in Lord of the Rings movies. Well, if he were a bit younger and rounder, anyway. I keep looking at him sideways, tempted to call, "Frodo!" and see if he answers. Really. If they ever do casting for "little Frodo," it would be a shame if he didn't audition. "Frodo" is a rather talkative and friendly fella and he and Elf have fallen into the habit of playing games together during "free" play time (as opposed to tournament game time).

They have innnteresting conversations. Here's one that happened after Frodo tried moving his rook diagonally last game:

"Um, you can't do that," Elf corrected him. "That's a rook."

"Yeah, I know," Frodo told him. "But did you know that the queen is really just a rook?"

"No, it isn't. It's a completely different piece!" Elf is pointing at the queen as if that would settle it.

Frodo picked up the queen and held it next to the rook. "No. The queen is just what the rook looks like after she gets plastic surgery and gets some boo-tayyy."

"Well, the rook can only move *this* way, so you'll have to pick another move." I think the boo-tayyy comment went right over his head. Just as well.

And another conversation:

"Where do you go to school at?" Frodo wanted to know.

"I do not go to school," Elf said crisply. "I am home EDUCATED."

"Oh," Frodo's brow rumpled. "Then you can never have a school team. You should totally go to (Junior High Name) with me. The KNIGHTS. We kick ass in chess club. KNIGHTS RULE!" Whereupon he tugs on his nearby friends. They get the "hint" and give him a high five.

Poor Emperor, though. He's not making friends there very easily at all. He is losing EVERY game. I know some of the younger players (he gets matched with them because he would be in third grade in ps) are the more serious, committed players... but much of his trouble comes from a lack of seriousness about the game. He jumps and moves at the same time. He isn't thinking strategically or stopping to consider that the other person ALSO has a strategy to win. I think the crowning blow was when he got beaten by the chess league teacher's five-year-old daughter. Who is too young for kindergarten this year.

Awww. Poor fella. But see, she is concentrating on the board. She goes to tournaments. She does workbooks on chess moves. I told him it's ok... he is learning and he's there to have a great time at the same time. I think this is a good experience for him on the whole, though, even if it is hard for him. He probably needs a few more weeks to get the hang of it.

But Elf? Surprisingly, he has a little peer group there. I think he doesn't understand about half of what they're talking about, though, but they seem friendly enough.

09 November 2010

Teachers Are People

And teaching is a job.  Not a job I would want, ever.  But it's a job. Can we please stop pretending that the teachers ONLY work "for the kids?" 

And can we stop putting bumper stickers on our cars that say, "If you can read this, thank a teacher"?  Because, really, if you can read this, thank the English for being all imperialistic and stuff.  That's the real reason you can read this.  Bossy English people and their conquering ways.  It has nothing to do with teachers, mmkay?

Ok.  Teachers work as professionals at a JOB.  They're not your personal nannies, they don't do childcare, and they aren't your kid's parent.  I think, actually, when teachers' unions and such advocate for more "wraparound services," that they are in the long run going to belittle the profession in the eyes of the taxpayer/parent.  Teachers are already viewed as the folks who give Mommies "free time" during the day in plenty of circles.  Surely you don't want to make that worse.  Teachers are professionals.  They do a job.  When the last test is graded, they go home and have their own families and their own lives.

But by saying that, I'm in no way discounting the fact that most teachers DO care for the children in their classes.  Professionals can care without crossing the line and getting all codependent and weird.  I know Realtors (tm) who care very much about whether the families they worked with are happy with the houses they purchased.  They work hard to ensure a good fit budget-wise, knowing the families' priorities in selecting a new home.  And I know doctors who care very much about whether their patients live or die.  You betya, they do.

Can professionals care without it being part of their job description, though?  I've seen teachers that I can TELL are not fond of my children do a competent enough job.  I was reading on some other teaching-type blogs, and they are allll starting to pop up with some sort of  "Madonna/whore" dichotomy when discussing teachers.  You know, perfect perky young and unmarried teacher who works 15 hours per day for the kids vs. greedy old bag who sucks up benefits because she's in a union and shoulda quit 10 years ago.  That dichotomy.  I know very few people who would "fit" the description of either extreme.

It all just seems a little silly.  Usually people who get into teaching do so because they like working with children and/or want to spend time with their own children when they are out of school.  I don't see too many bloodthirsty greedy OR kum-bay-aa  "I'm going to change the world by teaching inner-city second graders to add" types signing up.  Though I suppose they are out there, and some of you will direct me to their blogs and I'll be sorry I asked.

But most teachers?  They're people.  Teaching is their JOB.  You know?  JOB.  They shouldn't have to pour out their entire lives, give out their personal cell numbers, and generally live to do nothing but teach.   They shouldn't be required to love the children.  Professional standard of conduct.  Figure out what that is and then there you go.

Am I missing something here?

It's as American as Dad-ple Pie

It's vaguely cannabalistic, but we were tired of the usual lattice shape.  The ears shifted a bit during baking.

08 November 2010

My Brother is Gay

"Do you really think so?" my mother asked.

"Mom.  He wears silk shirts from the Chess King," I reasoned.  "He has no girlfriend.  And he blowdries his hair.  What do YOU think?"

"Oh!" 

But she wasn't sure.  "Well..."

She seemed to be stalling for time. 

"If it is true, it will be ok."

And I left that conversation wondering how on earth my mom could POSSIBLY, possibly miss all the signs that my brother was certainly not straight.  I mean... silk shirts in off-teal and burgundy from the Chess King, you guys.  Blow-dried hair!  It was all sooo obvious!

Today, 20 years later, my brother is 6 ft 4, shaved bald, tattooed, and works on cars for a living.  He also regularly attends church with his wife and three children.  He lives in New York, though.  I didn't say he was entirely without his oddities. 

LOVE YOU, JIM!

06 November 2010

OUTRAGEOUS!


Patrick recently discovered the old Grover "waiter" episodes on YouTube, so I started watching them as well.  Then I found this OUTRAGEOUS video and thought I'd share it with you.

05 November 2010

Micromanaging

In a broad sense, we're all being micromanaged by our respective governments.  Drive on the left/right side of the road.  Pay taxes.  Don't drink soda.

Oh, wait.  That last part was only for people who are on assistance for food stamps in New York.  My bad.

I have to admit that my initial reaction to the story was that the taxpayers decided what the money was to be used for, and they have every right to expect that the money is used in accordance with their wishes.  Soda isn't really a fundamental food right.  I get that.

But then I thought some more about this issue.  After all, I know how I feel about the local Christmas charity, run by city and school officials.  It sends letters home in my schoolchildren's backpacks begging for donations.  Help the needy in our local community!  Who could resist helping a neighbour have a good Christmas with some basic gifts and a super-good meal?  The only stipulation for recipients is that they be in genuine need and oh, that all school-age children are enrolled in Cityname Public Schools.  And fair warning, they will be checking.

So if you don't educate your child as WE, the city and school supported by YOUR tax dollars, think is right?  No charity for you, then.

Ok.  Maybe I should be more charitable about the charity.  Perhaps I should say that they want to be generous, but only to those people who fulfill the role of what they choose to believe is a worthwhile recipient.  That means "good" parents who send their children to school.

So, good parents are defined as those who send their children to school, don't buy pop at the store, limit their television viewing hours and make sure not to say shucky-darn in front of the littles.  People who don't follow the rules are undeserving of sympathy or any help whatsoever.

"I'm undeserving," Alfie P. Doolittle would say, "and I aim to go on being undeserving."

But back to the material point.  With limited resources to give, we want to make sure our charity dollar is used well.  More bang for the buck.  I certainly don't just hand out money to people who ask on the streetcorner because I don't know if it's going to go straight to drugs or if it will meet a genuine need.  But do I have to give only to charities who provide one turkey, three cranberries and a bag of stuffing to each family factory-style because it's the most efficient use of my charity budget?

I'm really wondering.  Because although I can't control how people in New York allot their food stamp budget, I can be wise in my charitable giving and in my voting and more gentle in my compassion and understanding of others.  I'm working on it, anyway.  :)

04 November 2010

People I Know

I went to the bank this afternoon.  I needed to copy a birth certificate that was in my safe deposit box (sorry, you didn't think I had VALUABLES, did you?).  I had a nice conversation with Juanita and waved over at Dan.  They are the friendliest bankers EVER at that place. 

I don't know if it's their training, or if they are just naturally likeable people.  They always say hi to me by name.  They know everybody.  They are nice and helpful to everybody who walks in. 

I left the bank around 4:15 and took Elf and Emperor out (more on that maybe tomorrow).  There were several helicopters buzzing around nearby.  Something had to have happened.  People walking by talking on cell phones with that "look."  Went inside and saw the tv news.

My bank.  Cut/paste from the big city newspaper:

"(Cityname) police are investigating whether an altercation inside a local bank today involved a kidnapping.

Police were called to the Bank of the West branch at (address) about 5 p.m. on a report of a cutting. They found two men, one of whom might have been kidnapped from outside the city, a department spokesman said. The case is still under investigation.

No one was seriously injured in the altercation inside the bank, the department said."

I hope that Dan, Juanita and the other folks who work in the little cubby offices there (they *wave* but I don't know their names) are all ok physically and mentally.  Hope the victim recovers soon as well... how frightening!

Shriek and Shrill

Don't like rants? Don't read this.

I'm sooo tired of everyone this week. Here I read the election results and note that the Republicans won an auditor position locally. And I'm upset about about it. Yes. This guy LIED about his diplomas so badly that the college in question finally came out and said that he does not, either, have such a degree. I'm mad that the party can't somehow check these credentials, but at least they came out and gave this guy a big NO confidence vote before the election.

He still got elected.

I guess people are THAT MAD at Obama's agenda that they'll elect a patently unqualified lying slime to public office just because he has an R after his name. That'll show him. I'm sure Obama is crying about it tonight ("Boo hoo! NOT the county auditor position! I need the Situation Room, STAT!")

Hey. Our state voted in a DEAD GUY for Governor a few years back, so maybe I oughtn't be surprised.

Is it just me that thinks there's no "Democrat" or "Republican" way to add money? I admit I sometimes vote for Republicans because of the family values thing, but lying is just as bad as homosexual acts (if you read your Bible, you'd know this, my fellow voter).

And I'm disappointed that the Democrat running for state rep. didn't win. I don't agree with him about everything, but I think he was a good fella and was worthy of this position. His opponent sent out letters with the "this guy is a sell-out to the NEA and all your rights will be in the toilet if you vote for him" ideas spelled out almost as clearly as I've written 'em in the pretend quote.

Did he counter the Democrats' position on the NEA with any talk about how he's going to end spanking and locking children up in school? NO. He talked about how stinkin' proud he was to have his wife teach (at the SAME ELEMENTARY that locked Elf in a closet!).

Yay, boy. Not a way to get my vote. Not. I can't imagine his wife to be ignorant of what is going on there and by extension, I can't imagine him to be that ignorant, either. I know him personally. He's not stupid. Though I guess if you have to work, you have to work, and if you want to win elections, you need to get people scared about your political opponent. It's just a shame to see this because I didn't think he was a bad guy. Maybe I still don't. It just makes me sad to see.

Trivia Question Answer!

"The Worm of the Still," referring to the coil on a still.  I had to read the passage over several times before I "got" it myself, because I had read it as a literal reptile. 

Maybe this one was too hard.  Keep in mind that McGuffey Readers were public school textbooks, so I suppose this would qualify as an olde-fashioned "health" class warning of the dangers of drink.  Ah, well.  It seems a weeee mite overexaggerated, but least they didn't try to put a condom on a banana. :)

03 November 2010

Mathematics and Homeschooling

Seems to me that every math textbook has an interminably long "review" period.  I would understand where a teacher, new to a class of 26 or so students, would need to go through a time of review to ensure that all the children are up to speed before proceeding with the year's work.  I also imagine that most textbooks are written with the public schooler or new homeschooler (who might need a review period before embarking on new material) in mind.

But I'm noticing especially now that Emperor is getting close to beginning pre-algebra that the seventh grade textbook is following a pattern of 1) long review period, 2) regular work, normal pace, 3) crazy-paced advanced "additional topics" section. 

Right now, we're in the crazy-paced advanced "additional topics" section.  It's nuts.  Within a week, the kid learned exponential notation, Pythagorean theorem, working with inequalities and using negative numbers in basic algebraic equations.  It just seems an odd sideways jump from probabilities and tax rate calculation, though I'm sure the textbook makers know what they are doing.

Much of Emperor's trouble, I'm discovering, is his difficulty in SLOWING DOWN long enough to write some basic information down.  He still can't seem to take a minute to line up his numbers before multiplying.  He was ok doing much of this in his head, but now we're at the point where (with decimals and whatnot) we really, really need to write our numbers down.  Apparently copying the problem onto another sheet of paper (lined, turned sideways so we can have "columns") is too much work.  It's better just to type answers into the computer without checking anything!  I guess "just knowing" the answer has worked for him up until now, but he had a period there where he would totally bomb grade-wise.  About three lessons have grades of 62-75.

I cannot IMAGINE setting this boy off on a multiple-choice test.  I know him.  He would fill in circles just because.  I made him back away from the computer (and hence, the permanent gradebook) and fill his answers into the notebook.  Then I checked them.  I was expecting a huge number of errors... but I didn't find them.  I guess getting away from the keyboard made him slow down? 

I'd be interested to hear what other teachers (homeschool or classroom) think and how they've worked to solve similar problems.

02 November 2010

The Venomous Worm.

From McGuffey's Fifth Eclectic Reader.  Guess the name given to this animal by the author.  I'll publish the results Thursday morning.  This one's harder.  Let's see if anyone comes close!

**

Who has not heard of the rattlesnake or copperhead?  An unexpected sight of either of these reptiles will make even the lords of creation recoil; but there is a species of worm, found in various parts of this country, which conveys a poison of a nature so deadly that, compared with it, even the venom of the rattlesnake is harmless.  To guard our readers against this foe of human kind is the object of this lesson.

This worm varies much in size.  It is frequently an inch in diameter, but, as it is rarely seen except when coiled, its length can hardly be conjectured.  It is of a dull lead color, and generally lives near a spring or small stream of water, and bites the unfortunate people who are in the habit of going there to drink.  The brute creation it never molests.  They avoid it with the same instinct that teaches the animals of India to shun the deadly cobra.

Several of these reptiles have long infested our settlements, to the misery and destruction of many of our fellow-citizens.  I have, therefore, had frequent opportunities of being the melancholy spectator of the effects produced by the subtile poison which this worm infuses.

The symptoms of its bite are terrible.  The eyes of the patient become red and fiery, his tongue swells to an immoderate size, and obstructs his utterance; and delirium of the most horrid character quckly follows.  Sometimes, in his madness, he attempts the destruction of his nearest friends.

If the sufferer has a family, his weeping wife and helpless infants are not unfrequently the objects of his frantic fury.  In a word, he exhibits, to the life, all the detestable passions that rankle in the bosom of a savage; and such is the spell in which his senses are locked, that no sooner has the unhappy patient recovered from the paroxysm of insanity occasioned by the bite, than he seeks out the destroyer for the sole purpose of being bitten again.

I have seen a good old father, his locks as white as snow, his step slow and trembling, beg in vain of his only son to quit the lurking place of the worm.  My heart bled when he turned away; for I knew the fond hope that his son would be the "staff of his declining years," had supported him through many a sorrow.

Youths of America, would you know the name of this reptile?

01 November 2010

Plant Study

 We loved doing our Chemistry lessons so much that we are beginning a short unit on plants from the same teacher.  Here you see Elf and Emperor constructing molecules and learning about the process of photosynthesis.  I gave them bunches of candy corn, peas and dried corn and they decided which would represent carbon, oxygen and hydrogen.  Hopefully, they learned that the process of photosynthesis doesn't add or subtract any of our elements, but does rearrange them. 

Bringing Garbage Home

Some people up the street were throwing this table away. It was in pretty bad shape and one of the legs was off. I've glued the leg back...